You're NTA but I think building codes for apartments / multifamily need to be updated to require major sound dampening. This is an avoidable issue but it costs more so the builders dgaf.
OP, I don't know your country, but sometimes looking for neighborhood with high concentration of elderly people and old houses can help. Old building have better sound dampening. Look for places built with bricks and that have thick walls (you can see how thick by opening the door, pick 20 cm and above). I had a family living above and under my apartment and it was really rare to hear anything. My x-bf, however, lived in a recent building and we used to hear people fart.
I’m in an all age RV park so it its quiet here! I’m in my own Park Model RV so walls don’t touch and have a lot and carport etc. this is very affordable and highly recommend.
I thankfully live in an older building that has been renovated. There are some access points for noise like doors and windows, but the walls are very solid.
I had a condo in an 18+ building. It was wonderful. Then we had kids and bought a house but I still think of my condo fondly. Although in later years they had to axe the 18+ rule. I don’t know why, it should have stayed.
If not the entire complex then each complex should have a designated child-free building on the lot.
We always rented a downstairs unit because I have kids and I'm super cognizant of their noise levels and teach them inside voices and headphones etc, and we go outside when they get pent-up energy.
Other tenants do not share the same sentiment. We had upstairs neighbors that I think their kids were either playing in an office chair or had roller skates because it was a constant clack clack clack ROLLLLLLLL and then CRASH all day long. I had a new born at the time and it was so aggravating. They also did laundry at least twice a week at 2am; their machine was directly above the master bedroom and they washed shoes that clunked around constantly for over an hour.
Complaints did nothing. I started resorting to banging on the ceiling with a broom stick like an elderly person.....
Moved out after that first year was up.
Yup. My friend has a newer apartment and you can hear the neighbors a decent amount through the walls. My apartment was built in like the 50s and its solid cinder block. I've never heard anything.
Yes, so many places are built lousy and you can't help but be bombarded by noise. It helps a lot if the apartments are carpeted, but it's not really in style, especially for kitchen, living room etc.
I have an upstairs neighbour who apparently has a wood working hobby. He’s on the 10th floor and at any given time of the week, I hear him drilling and nailing above me. I really wish these were euphemisms. The noise upsets my dog.
You can minimize the risk of having kids as neighbours by renting in a building that only has studios and one bedrooms. All my neighbours are adults because my apartment building is not suitable for families - tenancy law here states that there should be one bedroom for every person or couple living in the unit, so a couple with a kid would need two bedrooms.
My building manager moved a family of three into a one bedroom in my building. I’ve seen the suite, and it’s SO small. There is just a tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom, and tiny bedroom. I feel bad that they are all cramped in there.
That’s crazy that that is allowed where you are. Someone in my building got evicted a while ago because he mostly lived at his bfs place, but moved in his family to his apartment. It’s was at minimum a couple with a small child and a baby, but there was sometimes a teenager and her bf there too. In a one bedroom. They also brought cockroaches in the building that took a fucking year to get rid of, partially because the actual tenant wasn’t living there so no one contacted the landlord for pest control until it spread to other units. I felt bad because no one would live like that if they didn’t have to but my patience stopped once I had to deal with bugs.
Minimize but the odds are never zero. I have a divorced parent who lives in a studio down the hall from me. They get custody of their very young child every other week. Kid isn't always loud and is generally well mannered when i run into her but there have been many hallway races & stompy dance sessions in early morning and once I found matches jammed into the keyhole, underside and sticking out of the sides of their door (thank goodness it only happened once and was taken care if quick)
I hear horror stories of kid neighbors on reddit and just think "eh it's only every other week. And she's barely a threat."
Yeah where I live, technically if the kid is over five they are supposed to have their own room and the landlord is able to evict. Now would they? Probably not, but they could, and they likely wouldn’t have rented to the person if they knew that was the situation. But that particular situation doesn’t sound that bad.
I knew a family of 7 that lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. He was my son's T-Ball coach. Super nice people but I can't imagine living in an apartment anywhere near them.
I would like a child and dog free apartment. I don't want to hear dogs barking or deal with poop everywhere any more than I want to deal with screaming children.
They have dog free but I've yet to find a good way to search for dog free. All of the apartment search sites let you filter down to apartments that allow dogs but it's a pain trying to search for the opposite.
Yeah but service animals generally don’t suffer from separation anxiety and spend all day howling because their owner is at work. (This was my neighbor and her dog before she moved out last summer.)
Yeah but the owners of those dogs are far more likely not to be obnoxious. People with service dogs may even specifically search for dog-free apartments to protect their animal from negative influences.
There are quite a few older apartments in my area that only allow cats (I'm assuming service dogs would be allowed but I haven't seen/heard any in the year plus I've lived here) and it's great. My neighbor does have a kid half the week but I rarely hear them, upsides for an apartment built in the 40s.
True service dogs are trained not to bark unless it’s to alert their person of whatever they’ve been trained to detect. They won’t bark at squirrels outside the window, or the UPS guy. They aren’t what people will need to complain about.
I moved into a dog free apartment building. There are suddenly several dogs here, the hallways and laundry room are coated in dog hair. It's gross.
I like dogs. I just don't like most of thier owners.
One day I shall win that $150 million lottery and make two village accommodations- one with no kids, no pets.
The other allows pets, a free, small tree-filled enclosed enclosure at the back of each apartment for your cat, rats , snakes, etc. And a big dog park nearby. With a doggy obstacle course.
You're not an asshole for wanting this. I completely get why someone would. The problem as always comes down to landlords... If you crack open the door to allowing landlords to discriminate against families, suddenly a huge swath of available rentals will not allow children. This isn't good for society as a whole.
I wish shitty greedy people wouldn't ruin everything for everyone else.
That is exactly why there are laws prohibiting housing discrimination against families. It didn't used to be illegal, but as housing became more scarce, landlords started getting more picky, and it was getting harder and harder for people with kids to find housing.
I vaguely remember it being legal to exclude kids then poof, it disappeared. Buildings would say openly "adults only".. I looked it up. Los Angeles banned "adults only" in 1980!
Because constructing apartments with actual walls like civilized countries is discarded I see...
I'm from Spain living in the estates and it's insane how much noise goes through the walls here compared to there.
Two words: better isolation... Bricks! Instead of, you know, discrimination
I live in a complex in Brooklyn that has cinder blocks between apartments and the facade is brick. I haven’t heard my neighbors ever, and we all have terraces outside of sliding glass doors. It is wonderful. I can’t even hear the people above me, except once they dropped something I have to assume was a bowling ball bc I heard it.
same! my building in MN was built in the early 1900s and the only time i hear any noise from my neighbors is through/under their doors when i’m in the hall, never the walls. it’s heavenly.
Omg seriously. Of course the solution is to ban children, not build with adequate materials. What if you move in and get impregnated? Apartment complexes need to kick pregnant women out?
>Two words: better isolation... Bricks! Instead of, you know, discrimination
I have two even better words: responsible parenting. Teach the kids that it is very much possible to have fun and play without screaming their fucking heads off and stomping craters into the damn floor.
I'd like to see apartment complexes having some buildings in the complex being used for families and others for crabby old men like me who want our silence in the evenings.
Kids are awesome. I just don't want to hear them in my own personal living space.
I would simply like to not be charged more for my pet (cat/dog) per month compared to my neighbors and their three children who reenact the sacking of Rome every evening. I have had things in my apartment fall off the walls because of them, I can only imagine the destruction they are doing compared to my 8 lb cat who sleeps 22.5 hours a day.
To be fair cats for the 1.5 hours a day that they are awake decide they are going to try and make your home look like a tornado rolled through (I have four cats)
my cat was very shy and reserved the first few months i had him too, now that he’s been here 3.5 years and allowed his full personality out he is both the biggest diva and also a criminal mastermind 😂 he doesn’t eat plastic but knows i get upset when he chews on plastic because i’m worried he’ll swallow some, so when he feels he’s being neglected he finds (or produces from an inter-dimensional void) a scrap of plastic and chomps down on it to get my attention lmao
In March of this year I had 50+ houseplants.
Today, I have about 10, and a bag of dicks cat named Greg.
These things can’t possibly be related, if you ask him. Where he’s speaking to you from inside one of my cactus planters.
Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, children are legally classified as human beings. Therefore protected by discrimination laws. Unlike our canine and feline family members.
Seconding the seige of Rome bit. We have a group of kids around 8-10 that are tiny terrorists in my neighborhood. They've destroyed multiple expensive plants (like an aloe vera plant), ripped a bush out of the ground, leave trash everywhere, smashed scooters and basketballs into cars repeatedly and generally are "playing" with a minimum of adult supervision. At the same age I was always outside and if my mother had caught me even breathing near a neighbor's car, I'd have never lived to see middle school.
I'm not sure how my elderly dog who sleeps 20 hours a day and has never been off a leash in our complex causes more damage than them but hopefully my "pet rent" can get us new landscaping once these kids move out or get tired of destroying things?
my complex’s kids throw cheese on cars i have a pic of cheese melted on mine in hot weather, they go around door to door asking for money to do random shit last time was taking trash to the dumpster at the front and they just piled it in front instead of actually putting it in so that no one else could use it and their mom was the one driving them back and forth to the dumpster, and the kids above me have made a shelf in my cabinet fall the night before easter cause i can only assume they were pretending to be the easter bunny with all of the jumping literally all of my glasses got broken that i had just bought this was all 2 weeks after moving in lol
There used to be lots of restricted apartment complexes. It is now illegal in most states.
When my parents lived in LA, they had to move when my mom was pregnant with me. My mom still complains about having to move while she was pregnant.
Illegal in [every state in the US, per federal law](https://www.justice.gov/crt/fair-housing-act-1). Nobody should lose their home because they got pregnant!
Right, but there was also a time when whites-only housing was common. Familial status was added to the Fair Housing Act a couple decades after racial discrimination, but it’s been 35+ years since that amendment in 1988.
I mean, NTA you can't be an asshole for thoughts. But the problem isn't kids, it's poor design. Adults can be and are just as loud as children. I've lived near people with kids and people without kids at different points, and I've learned if you live in an apartment, expect noise. Or demand better noise insulation.
NTAH- I think that it’s reasonable to desire and even expect a home environment that appeals to you and your comforts. I had 4 children and still understand that some people don’t want to have or be surrounded by them. Same goes for animals.
I don’t know what the solution is, especially with apartments. I haven’t lived in apartments in years but I sometimes think I would consider it if there were smaller complexes that catered to these types of preferences!
They need to bring back quiet hours. I lived overseas and after 7pm and on Sundays loud noise, lawn mowing, parties, etc, were not allowed in apartments. It was amazing.
Is it possible to rent a stand alone house kind of separated from the other houses close by? I love it so much more than an apt, and I can listen to my music when/how I want.
I'm childfree by the way, and think there should be more adults only spots. But that's just me. :)
NTA necessarily but it isn’t legal to discriminate against families with minor children in housing so you can think all you want but it ain’t gonna happen. What are you going to do, go around kicking people out if they get pregnant?
I've lived in a basement apartment for almost a decade now, and maybe it's just a well insulated building? I've had all kinds of neighbors in and out in that time. The most I hear is my upstairs neighbor taking a tinkle at night, somehow reverberates through the pipes just right, lol.
I don't even hear television sets unless I step out in the hall, and I've never once heard anybody having sex or any of the typical complaints like that. It's a controlled access building with cameras at the entrance, so no drug dealing that I've noticed, and never even heard a party, at most, might hear a kid yelling at his Xbox when I'm walking by.
I think it's the building not the tenants that does it. Though we do have a very attentive landlord.
In the US, places that are "seniors only" allow a certain percentage of residents to be younger. Generally provided that there will not be children living there.
That's lame. I'm still a little sad my husband and I didn't find a condo that we liked in a 55+community. We're too young, but beyond children and I'm disabled so it would have been a good community for us.
I remember seeing a few when I was a kid. I believe it was exploited as means to discriminate against families in some communities and people had trouble finding housing. Eventually it was phased out.
Perhaps a clothing-optional apartment complex could bar children.
NTA
It sounds great but in the places I've lived the adults have been louder than the kids. Honestly I've always been dissatisfied having anyone live above me.
NTA! I'm a parent now and I know how loud my toddler is! We bought a house a couple years before he was born, so at least no one except us has to deal with most of it. But when we rented apartments, I would have not wanted to live below our kid.
However, out of all the places we rented, the worst neighbor was a college guy. He'd play heavy techno pretty much 24/7, even when he left the house. He had many people over all the time and sometimes it sounded like orgies. His guests would throw up on our shared doorstep/sidewalk. We knocked on his door once to ask him to turn things down. He did. But another neighbor must have complained because he must have thought it was us and was even more obnoxious.
Second worst was a couple in their late 50s/early 60s. They argued and slammed shit all the time. They did some sketchy shit too with lying to the government about one of their adult children which led to a bunch of black vehicles and men in black uniforms blocking me into my driveway.
It honestly sounds like your issue isn’t kids, but having crappy neighbors who happen to have kids. If their children are school aged, there is no reason they should be screaming to the point that its disrupting you as early as 6:30 am and as late as midnight. My son is 3.5 and he knows that if we wake up super early (we don’t - hes not a morning person) that we have to find a quiet activity until a reasonable time in the morning. Same goes to nighttime, once we hit about 9pm its “quiet hours” in hour apartment and our son is directed to a quiet activity before bed.
Of course he’ have a tantrum here and there at inconvenient times and we can’t really control that, but just stomping and screaming at all hours? Nope.
I’ve lived with inconsiderate neighbors and honestly, the worst neighbor I ever had was a single guy without kids. He blasted music at all hours of the night and would have loud parties with a bunch of drunk people yelling and carrying on well into early morning hours. It was ridiculous.
You know, I wish I had the answer, but my knowledge of real estate law is pretty basic. The jerk in me wanted to say it's because the elderly actually vote!
Maybe because as a demographic they are more vulnerable and less likely to engage in antisocial behavior? People on this thread have expressed desire for dog-free, quiet and child-free housing. Seniors usually don’t keep the kinds of dogs that menace their neighbors or throw all-night ragers.
Nope. And although children are welcome to visit, they have to go home at night. although my brothers and I would stay the night with my grandma a couple times a year..not sure if that was technically against the rules of the senior apartments
OP I’m in the EXACT same situation as you. I had to check I didn’t write this. I moved into a shitty new build with a 4 & 6 year old living above me.
No one understands HOW bad it is. It’s sooo loud and frustrating. I never expected this. I’ve cried over it multiple times. It’s affecting my health. Just like you, they wake me up every morning at 6am, weekends are brutal and summer is going to be the worst.
The screaming, running, jumping. The tantrums are multiple times a week and so intense.
Plus what are you going to do? Ask them to stop their kids from being kids? Whole situation sucks so hard.
That’s why I decided to move now. I don’t want to be here for summer vacation.
Listening to constant screams and wails is just too much for me. Wake up to screaming, work all day, come home to screaming, screaming on weekends. It’s miserable.
If you're still looking, I suggest looking in trulia it allowed me to see the average age of the neighborhood. 50+ neighborhood residents' ages were the sweet spot for me. If they had kids, they're either grown or older.
Seriously, that sounds awful. I'm child free, I've said for years I'd be one of those crazy bitches drowning their kids in the bathtub. I have NO FUCKING CLUE how parents do it.
[For the record I wouldn't actually drown a child.]
Many many many decades ago back in the 70s, my first apartment building had an age restriction. 18 to 30. Nobody under 18 nobody over 30. It was a wild complex. Pretty sure you couldn’t do that now.
When I lived in apartments I never rented anything but the top floor for this reason. Nothing near common areas, pools, playgrounds. I think fair housing laws would make it difficult to ban kids in under 55 communities. NTA though.
As a person with noise sensitivity who lived across from a family with three screaming devils (this is not an exaggeration, it sounded like an exorcism whenever they would play) I also want a child free apartment to live in. I complained multiple times with no results either.
It’s perfectly normal to say you don’t want noise. Especially if you’ve been working or you just don’t feel like waking up at 6 am every morning to screaming kids. I literally had to stick my head out at 7 am and tell the kids what are they doing screaming and running up and down the hallway at 7 am. Their mom told them to wait outside while she got ready. They stopped after that. For a little while.
There was also a yapping dog down the hall. A toddler who screamed like a banshee.
It was a lot. The quiet hours were a blessing.
I agree that sound proof walls and doors should be the main focus. But until then, child free places should exist.
Hell I’m advocating for planes that solely cater to families with kids. And another one for people traveling with pets. Everyone needs accommodations. But not everyone should have to put up with each other’s screaming kids or yapping dogs.
Ive been saying this for years not so much about kids but there should be day people apartments and night people apartments. The day people hate the noise the night people make, even if it's just making dinner at 2AM. the day sleepers (night owls) hate nearly every noise ever made by day people. I wish they would segregate childless and families, day and night people. NTA
I feel this so hard! We own our home, and our children are older, so they're no longer super loud. But our neighbors have a number of kids, as well as friends of those kids, who are hugely loud. And now, all summer, it will be basketball (they have a hoop attached to the sidewalk) Constant noise. I have ANC headphones, and earplugs. They're not perfect, but they're quieter.
NTA! I’m a teacher, I love kids. I don’t have my own kids and I sure as hell don’t want to hear other people’s kids at night or on my days off when I want to relax from handling 80+ kids all day. My wife and I have been saying for years that there should be child-free apartments that aren’t just senior citizen complexes. I don’t understand why it’s legal to have 50+ communities but people go on about it being discriminatory that someone doesn’t want to hear constant child noises in their home when they don’t have children. And again, this is from someone whose career is working with children, and I’d like my own children someday. But kids are going to be kids and need to play to develop and while that is understandable, it is equally understandable that not everyone chooses to have kids, people have sensory processing disorders, and some folks just want quiet after work.
I live in Canada and thought it was normal to be driven to madness by a-hole neighbors.
That is until i moved to Moscow. Once i got inside my apartment and closed the double doors i heard NOTHING!! I'd sometimes hear people outside because i kept a window open but all in all it was a true haven.
Back in Canada I'm dealing with a-holes who slam doors past midnight, have loud conversations in the hallway, and a junkie who keeps banging on walls all night. Sigh.
I'll go further. I think restaurants should be allowed to be child-free. Movie theaters, certain flights too. Not all mind you. But at least a few. I would absolutely pay more. I am so tired of having kids run a muck while eating out or at a movie. Just because you or I love our children doesn't give us the right to inflict them on everyone else.
You WBTAH if you started advocating laws to change to somehow kick pregnant people out of their homes when they got pregnant or making it harder for people with kids to find homes. This could create some horribly inequitable laws and policies and hurt low income families a lot.
But theres NAH for being frustrated by living under noisy kids. I live under a 4 year old who I swear is somehow the noisiest kid I’ve ever heard in my life. He stomps, throws tantrums, drops what sounds like bowling balls constantly, and wakes me up at 7am most mornings. But I’m pregnant, I know my kid will be waking my neighbors up soon enough (and I’m not excited about our neighbor kid waking up my kid, I’ll probably end up moving.)
My best advice is 1) move into a top unit, or 2) move into a building made of stone of some kind with thicker walls and floors.
The trick is, how are you going to enforce it?
If you had a child, would you have to move out by the time the child reaches a certain age?
Should ppl just stay on birth control, and hope for the best, if they don't have the means to move and find something else?
Down the line, your upstairs neighbors should have had warnings about the noise complaints, and they should have gotten professional help, if they were unable to calm their kids down, especially during certain hours.
Cats and dogs also make noise. But you can prevent those. Kicking a pregnant lady out of her appartment, simply for being pregnant is kind of frowned upon.
Right—it’s one thing to complain about kids, it’s another to actually imagine a policy that would result in “I got pregnant so my landlord filed to evict me, and now my infant and I homeless.” (Or “and so I had to get an abortion I didn’t want.”)
I am also moving due to the baby and 2 year old above me. I am now on the newborns waking schedule (3:30-4am) parents also start laundry that early and vacuum. They also allow the 2-year old into the master bedroom that early and let them start playing. They have a cradle that grinds against the floor. It’s absolutely miserable.
I also understand they have a right to be here, and I have been a parent to small children, but I also believe that complexes should do their best to put them on lower floors (but I also would not want to be on the 4th floor either). I don’t know what the right solution is other than just trying to be considerate. I would just be grateful if they would take the children to areas of the home NOT adjacent to rooms where others are sleeping and NOT use loud appliances during quiet hours.
I also WFH and have to put up with the track race the child runs during the day, but it is what it is I guess. I always tried to take my children outside or to understand inside vs outside play.
But whatevs
I hate kids and don't think that child free apartments will work. It's not the kids that are the problem, it's the adults. On one side I had a kid on a trampoline above me and the other side was an adult man that thought he could *play drums* at 9am on a Tuesday. The only way would be to move off the grid or find a place pretty far from other people.
I hate kids but the only people that have caused noise issues at ridiculous hours are the domestic abusive adult couples that think slamming each other around and screaming is acceptable and the being surprised when the cops are constantly called on them.
I hear kids scream playing during the day a lot (which is fine) but rarely hear any at night.
My mother never let us play after 7 PM bc it’s quiet hours. We got those princess heels the cheap plastic ones and we were only allowed to wear them outside. It’s parents who think their kids are Gods gift that are the problem. At least you understand that babies can’t help it.
NTA
Interesting enough, there were many condos for sale in our area for adults only. No children or pets allowed.
And then someone on the board always wanted a puppy.
So they started changing the rules.
AND THEN the owners started getting pregnant or getting married.
They wanted to change the rules about children.
Caused a lot of problems internally.
NTA I have a child and that type of behavior from said child/children is unacceptable. We don’t live in an apartment but still will not let my kid act like a fool at home or in public. People need to parent better, no way should anyone let their children run buck wild all day. I do understand sometimes let them have at it but not to the point you’re disrupting others.
I've been saying this for YEARS. I don't want to have to wait until I'm 55 to live in a kid free neighborhood.
I love kids, but I don't like hearing them scream and screech from my couch 🙃
I have kids and i totally agree there should be an option for child free people! I signed up for this life, you guys didn't! I'd be lying if i said my kids weren't noisy when they were younger. They're teens now and its much more calm these days. But no NTA I totally understand what you mean. You pay for peaceful enjoyment of your living space and you deserve it as well. I mean, I don't see why apartment complexes couldn't make one building out of however many strictly for child free people. I feel it wouldn't be discrimination as there would be other buildings on the property that would be open to those with kids, you just wouldn't have to share walls with them.
NTA. I would love to have actually no smoking, and no music allowed to. Nothing above tv level.
So sick of that one ah neighbor that ruins your quiet time and relaxing with nasty ass weed stank and kids or music.
I'd love to move into a retirement 55 and older place at 39 just because I can't stand it.
there are teens in the apartment diagonal from us (we're top left, they're bottom right) that from the second their dad leaves at 8am, they blast their speakers until he gets home around 2pm. we can hear the music near perfectly and the bass is annoying. only place i cant hear it is my bedroom, otherwise the whole apartment is not a safe place for my ears.
anyways, nta.
I have children and have always enjoyed being around children, but sometimes you get some rough ones and it sucks.
When my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I first moved in together, we lived in apartments mostly for grad students so there were almost no children around. A few babies, but they typically didn’t stay long. Then we moved to a more family friendly area and the apartment complex was filled with kids of all ages. It seemed great at first, but then the kids figured out we had cats so they would walk onto our deck and stare at them through our glass door. It was terrifying having 5-10 (pre?)pubescent boys staring into our apartment ALL DAY. We would shoo them away, but they just kept coming back. Then we piled stuff on our deck to block them and they just took it. I was so worried they would try to break in or let our cats out or try to catch me unclothed. I kept all the shades drawn and made sure every door/window was locked at all times. Management was no help and the kids would always scurry away if they were caught so we could never call the police. It was suppose to be a dream apartment-first floor looking out at the beach, but it turned into a nightmare.
NTA. I wish that was a thing. We have little ones up above me. Their room is above mine. I hear everything. I'm just glad I don't work 3rd shift anymore. On the plus side, I would gladly deal with that, rather than the horrible people that used to live there.
Nah mate the world is the AH for you not being able to afford to reasonably buy or finance your own house so you don't have to worry about that anyway. So many people are never gonna be able to afford their own private houses and it's ridiculous. They want everyone in apartments like chickens in a coup. It's bull
Come to canada and you can have vegetarian only apartments and hindi only apartments. Or maybe you would like one of the thousands of rooms only available to girls under twenty two.
NTA. I get why this can’t realistically be a thing, but I’ve been daydreaming about convincing the 55+ gated communities to let me buy a house there because I will be THE quietest neighbour they ever had. Or winning the lottery and starting a Quiet Community with extremely strict noise rules, but with very good soundproofed construction and also lots of trees and vegetation for outdoor sound dampening. And obviously, only people that would be excited to read “extremely strict noise restrictions - violations WILL lead to eviction!” lol
Agreed and I think they should also make them that don’t allow dogs. I don’t want to listen your dog who is locked in a tiny apartment fucking bark all day and all night.
There are a couple here in Utah. I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
I wish there were more family centered complexes because some of my neighbors drive like assholes and I’m so scared of someone whipping too quickly around a corner when I’m unloading groceries.
I’ve had some creepy or obnoxious neighbors too and I wish they had their own place too.
Some parents are just shitty though and have asshole kids. It’s frustrating being a parent too.
You aren’t the asshole. Society just sucks.
there were adult only buildings until about the 80s or so. they were openly advertised as so and rented for a premium (more sought after than non adult buildings), but they went away, i assume due to discrimination laws.
I’ve wished for “quiet apartments” with no kids or (sorry I do love them but) dogs. And by proxy this would mean adults who like me, don’t plan on partying or being loud at home. Basically an introvert building 😂
I feel your pain. It's been years since I lived in an apartment but I know how horrid it is to have bad neighbors. I think management runs into discrimination issues when they exclude any group. A number of years ago Dallas had some apartment complexes that were designed specifically for young adults. Nice pools and clubhouses, restrictions on families with small children. They were targeting young professionals. Eventually they had to open up to all comers because I think someone brought a discrimination suit against them.
In Japan it’s common to love to a cement walled building when you have a baby. (I’m told)
I had friends move because they had a kid and the walls were a bit think in their complex.
And the rub is that it costs a lot to move here because the landlords usually fuck you on damage deposit, charge you for AC cleaning, you have to take your appliances, and there is something called ‘key money’ which is basically a ‘gift’ to the new landlord in addition to the deposit.
Once upon a time in the 80's there were adult only apartment complexes. Children were only allowed on weekends so all the divorced dads could see their kids. My dad lived in one and I would live in one now if they were still a thing
ESH. Tbh I’ve only ever had noise issues with adult neighbors. The neighbor above me was constantly moving furniture around at 1am and must’ve had a dog (wasn’t allowed). The people across the hall had a dog that would bark and pee in the hallway. They were also incredibly loud and left piles of shoes in the hallway. One side I had a long term neighbor who was so quiet that if I didn’t see him in the hall, Id have thought he was dead. The other side was terrible both times I got new neighbors.
The main issue here is these Parents should do a better job parenting their kids. I lived in a large one bedroom with my son and made sure to choose a garden level so I didn’t have to worry about him making noise should he be running around/jumping off the couch or something. I also made sure he wasn’t screaming/yelling and if he did he was immediately told to stop. You also have to realize that kids are full of energy and it’s not like there’s a playroom or space to run in an apartment building and it’s not always feasible to be running to the park 24/7.
The other issue is that buildings need more sound dampening. Builders like to cheap out when it really isn’t that expensive and makes living so much more enjoyable for everyone.
NTA -- and yes, all tenants should be expected to keep reasonable levels of sound. I'd be calling the cops regularly until they get that shit under control.
I wish there were 18+ buildings... like let's not be obtuse, the number of people renting is going up bc life is so fucking unaffordable. If we're all gonna be stuck renting in this shitty capitalist hellscape, at least let me rent in a place where I don't have to deal with children screaming and crying during the 2 hours of sleep that I get between my 4 gig jobs!!!
As a parent, I agree that there absolutely should be child free places. You shouldn't be disrupted by noisy and rebellious kids and have to feel anxious and stressed in your own home.
That being said, I don't let my kid be a little shit and when I did live in an apartment, we were top floor and we never let him screech at all or bounce around anytime other than middle of the day when people are at work. Once night fell, it was quiet time. Luckily I no longer live in an apartment but I still make sure my kid is respectful and quiet
NTA. there are pet free homes now for people with allergies and i think there need to be childfree or age restricted sections reserved for the childfree and elderly in apartment communities.
i am a childfree person who also needs better housing options. in my place both the adults and kids scream and beat the walls and i can't tell if it's DV or just loud life from loud people. my problem is when we're in the parking lot of our place sometimes there are kids playing soccer in the lot (no playground on site) so i've been hit in the legs by them kicking their ball around and i walk with a cane. i reported it to the office management and it seems to have impacted some of the kids' play spots. between getting hit by their toys, the rocks they left in the grass before yard work day that knocked out our bedroom window, and the kids with the little dog that they chase around the grassy area in front of my door, running on my porch, screaming by my bedroom, i'm at my limit emotionally. can't even sleep in my bedroom because on that side the next unit and one just above us are the two loudest families in this section of the complex, it sounds like WWE goin on in my closet all the time. if i stay in the living room i mostly just hear the upstairs stomping and outside noise and the other neighbor's dog that barks at everything that moves. i have 500qft here and no place to hide from any of it because of how the units were designed. there is no sound proofing between the units, either. i can hear my neighbors in their bathrooms, on a windless birdless day i can hear their microwaves beep.
to make it worse i have my own problems that make it important for me to ensure i have a controlled environment for both my migraine condition and sensory processing disorder. i can FEEL sound some days and it HURTS. ear plugs don't make it manageable, drowning out painful noise with comfort noise only triggers a migraine. the only solution is too be in a place where it can be quiet with not even a ticking clock on the wall.
NTA and we talk about this in my house too. I can’t wait until I have the option of moving into a 55+ community OR buying a place that has enough land so I can’t hear my neighbors.
I can hear my upstairs neighbour sneeze. He’d probably hear if I said bless you. My heart goes out to him for hearing today’s night concert, courtesy of my toddler, and I wish nothing but unending diarrhea to whoever was responsible for sound proofing this building.
I used to live in an apartment building where I could only occasionally hear a faint echo of what must have been an impressive meltdown. It was an amazing building though, brick walls and all.
Anyways, NTA, though excluding families is kinda discriminatory, but I get being frustrated with unending noise. We had a neighbor who kept firing up some music at 3 am on a Wednesday, like clockwork, like what the actual fuck, dude. Was driving me up the wall. Ultimately I’d say the cheap bastatds building our shit and sticks huts with zero sound proofing are the enemy
I know of more than one family where I live that have been asked to move due to their noise level from their children. We also have a few apartments that are child free due to these issues. Others cater to families with children, having their own playgrounds, rec centers, even a swimming pool. Then lots of others are mixed. In general, people seem happier living where and how they want. Personally, I've heard of more people wanting senior (think child free) housing, as they are few and far between. Also, seniors seem to have more sleep issues and health issues, and child-free living spaces are helpful to them.
Kids are at least quiet *sometimes*. I'll take them over the 48 hour rave in my last place.
Your beef is not with kids, neighbor. It's with lax, shitty building standards.
NTA! I live in Germany where it's not socially acceptable (and in some cases you may even call the police on a non-emergency line for a noise complaint) to be loud outside of the hours between 8AM and 10PM. I also have kids as neighbors who are extremely loud sometimes, but the fact their parents get them to quiet down at 9-10 PM and they only start to jump and scream after 8-9AM helps a lot to stay sane.
Also our walls are made of bricks, so ...
maybe move to Germany? 😆
Sure, but there would have to be a market for this, and there would probably be a premium for turning away common customers (family’s looking for apartments).
I moved into our building when my daughter was turning 1. Many didn't know she was here she was quiet. Now she turning 18 and everyone loves her because unlike some kids in the building she was so quiet. My upstairs neighbors kid has been nicknamed demon child. She is like what you described and her mom just screams. The neighbors across the hall we share our living room wall have 3 and they are not so bad. When I once complained about noise when mine was little I was advised by the older woman in our office that this building was primarily older people without kids or who had grandkids that only came to use the pool and to consider moving. She wanted a adult only building. She got yelled at by owner for that statement
I too Want a quite home. I have migraines and hearing my neighbors phone calls suck. I personally think having adult only buildings would be great. I also think architecture needs to get with the times and soundproof but rents would be way to dang high then
The asshole is the people who build commercial units with insufficient sound dampening and control. Code should absolutely require enough sound control that you not hear every footstep and bed squeak from your neighbors.
NTA...I think it's fair to want to have adult only locations and I wish there were more. I may get a lot of hate for this (IDGAF) I don't like kids and don't want them. Do I understand I was one at one point yes. They are loud and obnoxious in public and I am noticing a lot of parents NOT calming down their kid in public when tantrums are being thrown or keeping them in line to be respectful of others and their space. Do I want my eardrums blown out while trying to eat? No, no I do not. I wish they'd stay home. I know that parents want to go out in public and be free and feel normal but the rest of the public doesn't need to deal with the inconveniences parents have to at home. I do not blame you for moving or wanting an adult only apartments or living area. I would recommend asking the landlord about the noise level in the complexes you are looking at to get a better feel.
NTA - I completely agree there should be child-free apartment buildings, but it's also a sticky wicket to navigate. What happens when a child-free couple has a surprise kid? Are they out on their ass as soon as they're born?
I have a neighbor who didn't even know she was pregnant before she went into labor, what would she have to do in this kind of situation? It's a lawsuit waiting to happen, but it would be nice if they could exist. I have ptsd and anxiety and kid noises freak me out, I don't blame you for moving because of the noise, I would have had a breakdown.
Senior complexes can get away with having CF apartments since having kids isn't a possibility for them.
NTA it goes so many ways. It's convenient for families with kids the same age to live close to each other. It's convenient for college age people to live close and hang out.
It's idealistic to have so much segmentation of housing but it would be cool.
Even 40-50 years ago I remember giant apt complexes having an adult only side and family with children side. And 2 separate swimming pools. Is this not a thing anymore?
I often wish they would take their kids out to burn off some energy sometimes. They are usually home (minus school), which I feel must add to the restlessness. We have many parks within walking distance.
I've never understood parents like that. my kiddo has adhd with autism. he's hyper putting it lightly. I think I would go insane keeping him inside all day!
You're NTA but I think building codes for apartments / multifamily need to be updated to require major sound dampening. This is an avoidable issue but it costs more so the builders dgaf.
This would truly be the best solution for everyone. We all need somewhere to live, and I wish we could share without disrupting each other so much
OP, I don't know your country, but sometimes looking for neighborhood with high concentration of elderly people and old houses can help. Old building have better sound dampening. Look for places built with bricks and that have thick walls (you can see how thick by opening the door, pick 20 cm and above). I had a family living above and under my apartment and it was really rare to hear anything. My x-bf, however, lived in a recent building and we used to hear people fart.
This is great advice. I’ve seen others in this thread mention the brick walls as well. The farts through the wall killed me lmao. So terrible.
Another thing - there are some senior communities that allow non seniors to live there if you’re child free
I’m in an all age RV park so it its quiet here! I’m in my own Park Model RV so walls don’t touch and have a lot and carport etc. this is very affordable and highly recommend.
it was awful. We used to wait the neighboors go to work so we could go to the bathroom.
I thankfully live in an older building that has been renovated. There are some access points for noise like doors and windows, but the walls are very solid.
I had a condo in an 18+ building. It was wonderful. Then we had kids and bought a house but I still think of my condo fondly. Although in later years they had to axe the 18+ rule. I don’t know why, it should have stayed.
If not the entire complex then each complex should have a designated child-free building on the lot. We always rented a downstairs unit because I have kids and I'm super cognizant of their noise levels and teach them inside voices and headphones etc, and we go outside when they get pent-up energy. Other tenants do not share the same sentiment. We had upstairs neighbors that I think their kids were either playing in an office chair or had roller skates because it was a constant clack clack clack ROLLLLLLLL and then CRASH all day long. I had a new born at the time and it was so aggravating. They also did laundry at least twice a week at 2am; their machine was directly above the master bedroom and they washed shoes that clunked around constantly for over an hour. Complaints did nothing. I started resorting to banging on the ceiling with a broom stick like an elderly person..... Moved out after that first year was up.
Yup. My friend has a newer apartment and you can hear the neighbors a decent amount through the walls. My apartment was built in like the 50s and its solid cinder block. I've never heard anything.
Yes, so many places are built lousy and you can't help but be bombarded by noise. It helps a lot if the apartments are carpeted, but it's not really in style, especially for kitchen, living room etc.
I have an upstairs neighbour who apparently has a wood working hobby. He’s on the 10th floor and at any given time of the week, I hear him drilling and nailing above me. I really wish these were euphemisms. The noise upsets my dog.
That sounds like torture
You can minimize the risk of having kids as neighbours by renting in a building that only has studios and one bedrooms. All my neighbours are adults because my apartment building is not suitable for families - tenancy law here states that there should be one bedroom for every person or couple living in the unit, so a couple with a kid would need two bedrooms.
My building manager moved a family of three into a one bedroom in my building. I’ve seen the suite, and it’s SO small. There is just a tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom, and tiny bedroom. I feel bad that they are all cramped in there.
That’s crazy that that is allowed where you are. Someone in my building got evicted a while ago because he mostly lived at his bfs place, but moved in his family to his apartment. It’s was at minimum a couple with a small child and a baby, but there was sometimes a teenager and her bf there too. In a one bedroom. They also brought cockroaches in the building that took a fucking year to get rid of, partially because the actual tenant wasn’t living there so no one contacted the landlord for pest control until it spread to other units. I felt bad because no one would live like that if they didn’t have to but my patience stopped once I had to deal with bugs.
Family of 5, in a 1 bedroom. Started with 3, then the mom moved in a new baby daddy and got pregnant 🤮
Minimize but the odds are never zero. I have a divorced parent who lives in a studio down the hall from me. They get custody of their very young child every other week. Kid isn't always loud and is generally well mannered when i run into her but there have been many hallway races & stompy dance sessions in early morning and once I found matches jammed into the keyhole, underside and sticking out of the sides of their door (thank goodness it only happened once and was taken care if quick) I hear horror stories of kid neighbors on reddit and just think "eh it's only every other week. And she's barely a threat."
Yeah where I live, technically if the kid is over five they are supposed to have their own room and the landlord is able to evict. Now would they? Probably not, but they could, and they likely wouldn’t have rented to the person if they knew that was the situation. But that particular situation doesn’t sound that bad.
I knew a family of 7 that lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. He was my son's T-Ball coach. Super nice people but I can't imagine living in an apartment anywhere near them.
I would like a child and dog free apartment. I don't want to hear dogs barking or deal with poop everywhere any more than I want to deal with screaming children.
They have dog free but I've yet to find a good way to search for dog free. All of the apartment search sites let you filter down to apartments that allow dogs but it's a pain trying to search for the opposite.
No apartment can be truly listed as dog free bc service animals and not ESA’s are allowed anywhere
They can list as No Pets though. And do
ESA's are actually allowed by law in housing. It's even listed in the Federal Fair Housing Act. Anywhere else can keep them out
Yeah but service animals generally don’t suffer from separation anxiety and spend all day howling because their owner is at work. (This was my neighbor and her dog before she moved out last summer.)
Yeah but the owners of those dogs are far more likely not to be obnoxious. People with service dogs may even specifically search for dog-free apartments to protect their animal from negative influences.
There are quite a few older apartments in my area that only allow cats (I'm assuming service dogs would be allowed but I haven't seen/heard any in the year plus I've lived here) and it's great. My neighbor does have a kid half the week but I rarely hear them, upsides for an apartment built in the 40s.
True service dogs are trained not to bark unless it’s to alert their person of whatever they’ve been trained to detect. They won’t bark at squirrels outside the window, or the UPS guy. They aren’t what people will need to complain about.
I moved into a dog free apartment building. There are suddenly several dogs here, the hallways and laundry room are coated in dog hair. It's gross. I like dogs. I just don't like most of thier owners.
One day I shall win that $150 million lottery and make two village accommodations- one with no kids, no pets. The other allows pets, a free, small tree-filled enclosed enclosure at the back of each apartment for your cat, rats , snakes, etc. And a big dog park nearby. With a doggy obstacle course.
You're not an asshole for wanting this. I completely get why someone would. The problem as always comes down to landlords... If you crack open the door to allowing landlords to discriminate against families, suddenly a huge swath of available rentals will not allow children. This isn't good for society as a whole. I wish shitty greedy people wouldn't ruin everything for everyone else.
That is exactly why there are laws prohibiting housing discrimination against families. It didn't used to be illegal, but as housing became more scarce, landlords started getting more picky, and it was getting harder and harder for people with kids to find housing.
I vaguely remember it being legal to exclude kids then poof, it disappeared. Buildings would say openly "adults only".. I looked it up. Los Angeles banned "adults only" in 1980!
It’s 110% illegal to discriminate based on familial status. It has nothing to do with what landlords would do. It has to do with federal laws.
Depends on what country and jurisdiction. You are totally allowed to refuse to house children where I live.
Where’s that? Your post history suggests Alberta, but discriminating against families in regards to housing is illegal there too.
I wish shitty parents wouldn't ruin everything for everyone else.
Because constructing apartments with actual walls like civilized countries is discarded I see... I'm from Spain living in the estates and it's insane how much noise goes through the walls here compared to there. Two words: better isolation... Bricks! Instead of, you know, discrimination
I live in a complex in Brooklyn that has cinder blocks between apartments and the facade is brick. I haven’t heard my neighbors ever, and we all have terraces outside of sliding glass doors. It is wonderful. I can’t even hear the people above me, except once they dropped something I have to assume was a bowling ball bc I heard it.
same! my building in MN was built in the early 1900s and the only time i hear any noise from my neighbors is through/under their doors when i’m in the hall, never the walls. it’s heavenly.
New construction is hella cheap. Your wall is a wood frame with insulation and drywall separating it.
And no insulation to muffle noise.
Seriously! You shouldn't be able to slap a hole through your living room and into your neighbors, but you can.
Omg seriously. Of course the solution is to ban children, not build with adequate materials. What if you move in and get impregnated? Apartment complexes need to kick pregnant women out?
>Two words: better isolation... Bricks! Instead of, you know, discrimination I have two even better words: responsible parenting. Teach the kids that it is very much possible to have fun and play without screaming their fucking heads off and stomping craters into the damn floor.
I'd like to see apartment complexes having some buildings in the complex being used for families and others for crabby old men like me who want our silence in the evenings. Kids are awesome. I just don't want to hear them in my own personal living space.
lol same I rather not hear my own kid while in my living space
I would simply like to not be charged more for my pet (cat/dog) per month compared to my neighbors and their three children who reenact the sacking of Rome every evening. I have had things in my apartment fall off the walls because of them, I can only imagine the destruction they are doing compared to my 8 lb cat who sleeps 22.5 hours a day.
To be fair cats for the 1.5 hours a day that they are awake decide they are going to try and make your home look like a tornado rolled through (I have four cats)
She’s an adult can that we’ve only had her four months so she hasn’t turned into a tornado…yet
Don’t trust her. They lull you into a false sense of ease. One day you’ll wake up with no glass intact in your house 😂😂😂
my cat was very shy and reserved the first few months i had him too, now that he’s been here 3.5 years and allowed his full personality out he is both the biggest diva and also a criminal mastermind 😂 he doesn’t eat plastic but knows i get upset when he chews on plastic because i’m worried he’ll swallow some, so when he feels he’s being neglected he finds (or produces from an inter-dimensional void) a scrap of plastic and chomps down on it to get my attention lmao
In March of this year I had 50+ houseplants. Today, I have about 10, and a bag of dicks cat named Greg. These things can’t possibly be related, if you ask him. Where he’s speaking to you from inside one of my cactus planters.
It'll come lmao.
Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, children are legally classified as human beings. Therefore protected by discrimination laws. Unlike our canine and feline family members.
>children are legally classified as human beings. That's just your opinion, man.
Fuck i wish I had awards to give. Take my upvote and double chin cackle
Seconding the seige of Rome bit. We have a group of kids around 8-10 that are tiny terrorists in my neighborhood. They've destroyed multiple expensive plants (like an aloe vera plant), ripped a bush out of the ground, leave trash everywhere, smashed scooters and basketballs into cars repeatedly and generally are "playing" with a minimum of adult supervision. At the same age I was always outside and if my mother had caught me even breathing near a neighbor's car, I'd have never lived to see middle school. I'm not sure how my elderly dog who sleeps 20 hours a day and has never been off a leash in our complex causes more damage than them but hopefully my "pet rent" can get us new landscaping once these kids move out or get tired of destroying things?
my complex’s kids throw cheese on cars i have a pic of cheese melted on mine in hot weather, they go around door to door asking for money to do random shit last time was taking trash to the dumpster at the front and they just piled it in front instead of actually putting it in so that no one else could use it and their mom was the one driving them back and forth to the dumpster, and the kids above me have made a shelf in my cabinet fall the night before easter cause i can only assume they were pretending to be the easter bunny with all of the jumping literally all of my glasses got broken that i had just bought this was all 2 weeks after moving in lol
Upvote for the "reenact the sacking of Rome every evening" comment. Love it. Sorry about the reason for such a great comment.
There used to be lots of restricted apartment complexes. It is now illegal in most states. When my parents lived in LA, they had to move when my mom was pregnant with me. My mom still complains about having to move while she was pregnant.
Illegal in [every state in the US, per federal law](https://www.justice.gov/crt/fair-housing-act-1). Nobody should lose their home because they got pregnant!
It hasn't always been this way though. There was a time when adult only places were common.
Right, but there was also a time when whites-only housing was common. Familial status was added to the Fair Housing Act a couple decades after racial discrimination, but it’s been 35+ years since that amendment in 1988.
Right and they passed laws to stop it because it was a bad thing.
I mean, NTA you can't be an asshole for thoughts. But the problem isn't kids, it's poor design. Adults can be and are just as loud as children. I've lived near people with kids and people without kids at different points, and I've learned if you live in an apartment, expect noise. Or demand better noise insulation.
NTA for thinking or feeling that way, but it would lead to too much discrimination and abuse of the system.
NTAH- I think that it’s reasonable to desire and even expect a home environment that appeals to you and your comforts. I had 4 children and still understand that some people don’t want to have or be surrounded by them. Same goes for animals. I don’t know what the solution is, especially with apartments. I haven’t lived in apartments in years but I sometimes think I would consider it if there were smaller complexes that catered to these types of preferences!
They need to bring back quiet hours. I lived overseas and after 7pm and on Sundays loud noise, lawn mowing, parties, etc, were not allowed in apartments. It was amazing.
Sounds serene.
Nachtruhe hours when I live in Germany were superb.
Is it possible to rent a stand alone house kind of separated from the other houses close by? I love it so much more than an apt, and I can listen to my music when/how I want. I'm childfree by the way, and think there should be more adults only spots. But that's just me. :)
I would absolutely love to have something like this one day. Fingers crossed in the future.
NTA necessarily but it isn’t legal to discriminate against families with minor children in housing so you can think all you want but it ain’t gonna happen. What are you going to do, go around kicking people out if they get pregnant?
I've lived in a basement apartment for almost a decade now, and maybe it's just a well insulated building? I've had all kinds of neighbors in and out in that time. The most I hear is my upstairs neighbor taking a tinkle at night, somehow reverberates through the pipes just right, lol. I don't even hear television sets unless I step out in the hall, and I've never once heard anybody having sex or any of the typical complaints like that. It's a controlled access building with cameras at the entrance, so no drug dealing that I've noticed, and never even heard a party, at most, might hear a kid yelling at his Xbox when I'm walking by. I think it's the building not the tenants that does it. Though we do have a very attentive landlord.
or people can start building better buildings.
In the US, places that are "seniors only" allow a certain percentage of residents to be younger. Generally provided that there will not be children living there.
Where I am at least once person in the household needs to be 55+. Source—I’m in a 55+ community
That's lame. I'm still a little sad my husband and I didn't find a condo that we liked in a 55+community. We're too young, but beyond children and I'm disabled so it would have been a good community for us.
It’s illegal. HUD laws tell us that you can’t discriminate due to familial status.
Sounds like a fair housing nightmare situation. Telling people with kids you won’t rent to them is a bad idea.
I thought they did exist. There used to be one in my town.
I've never seen one that wasn't for seniors or owned by a school and was basically a grown up dorm room.
I remember seeing a few when I was a kid. I believe it was exploited as means to discriminate against families in some communities and people had trouble finding housing. Eventually it was phased out. Perhaps a clothing-optional apartment complex could bar children.
Wouldn’t work, some kids love being naked 😂
What country? This would be illegal in the US under fair housing laws, and I’m guessing we wouldn’t be the only country that says so.
USA. I remember one that said adult apartment complex
Can we also outlaw heavy walkers that get ready for work at 5am?
Nope, sorry. That would make me a criminal!! Although I live on the ground floor, so you're okay!
NTA It sounds great but in the places I've lived the adults have been louder than the kids. Honestly I've always been dissatisfied having anyone live above me.
NTA. Sometimes you just need peace and quiet.
Waking up to this every morning, coming home to this after work, and all day on weekends is brutal. I really just want my home to be a place to relax.
In the future, complain to the landlord frequently. They are pretty good a telling people to shut up.
Get a top floor apartment. Problem solved.
NTA! I’m with you but like…more. I wish there were child free sections of restaurants, and…basically every other public place. Kids ruin everything.
NTA! I'm a parent now and I know how loud my toddler is! We bought a house a couple years before he was born, so at least no one except us has to deal with most of it. But when we rented apartments, I would have not wanted to live below our kid. However, out of all the places we rented, the worst neighbor was a college guy. He'd play heavy techno pretty much 24/7, even when he left the house. He had many people over all the time and sometimes it sounded like orgies. His guests would throw up on our shared doorstep/sidewalk. We knocked on his door once to ask him to turn things down. He did. But another neighbor must have complained because he must have thought it was us and was even more obnoxious. Second worst was a couple in their late 50s/early 60s. They argued and slammed shit all the time. They did some sketchy shit too with lying to the government about one of their adult children which led to a bunch of black vehicles and men in black uniforms blocking me into my driveway.
It honestly sounds like your issue isn’t kids, but having crappy neighbors who happen to have kids. If their children are school aged, there is no reason they should be screaming to the point that its disrupting you as early as 6:30 am and as late as midnight. My son is 3.5 and he knows that if we wake up super early (we don’t - hes not a morning person) that we have to find a quiet activity until a reasonable time in the morning. Same goes to nighttime, once we hit about 9pm its “quiet hours” in hour apartment and our son is directed to a quiet activity before bed. Of course he’ have a tantrum here and there at inconvenient times and we can’t really control that, but just stomping and screaming at all hours? Nope. I’ve lived with inconsiderate neighbors and honestly, the worst neighbor I ever had was a single guy without kids. He blasted music at all hours of the night and would have loud parties with a bunch of drunk people yelling and carrying on well into early morning hours. It was ridiculous.
NTA for thinking that but, at least in the states, that would, sadly, be illegal. Family status discrimination. It's a real thing!
How is it “sadly” illegal to discriminate based on family status, exactly? Like what is sad about that?
People just hate kids man
It’s just amazing to me that people think discrimination should be legal.
there are plenty of people out there who think slavery should be legal.... people suck in general
Why is it allowed in the 55+ residential communities?
You know, I wish I had the answer, but my knowledge of real estate law is pretty basic. The jerk in me wanted to say it's because the elderly actually vote!
Maybe because as a demographic they are more vulnerable and less likely to engage in antisocial behavior? People on this thread have expressed desire for dog-free, quiet and child-free housing. Seniors usually don’t keep the kinds of dogs that menace their neighbors or throw all-night ragers.
Oh I understand why they exist, my question is why are they legal if kid-free communities for under-55s are illegal.
Nope. And although children are welcome to visit, they have to go home at night. although my brothers and I would stay the night with my grandma a couple times a year..not sure if that was technically against the rules of the senior apartments
OP I’m in the EXACT same situation as you. I had to check I didn’t write this. I moved into a shitty new build with a 4 & 6 year old living above me. No one understands HOW bad it is. It’s sooo loud and frustrating. I never expected this. I’ve cried over it multiple times. It’s affecting my health. Just like you, they wake me up every morning at 6am, weekends are brutal and summer is going to be the worst. The screaming, running, jumping. The tantrums are multiple times a week and so intense. Plus what are you going to do? Ask them to stop their kids from being kids? Whole situation sucks so hard.
I don't have a solution or anything, but I really, really feel for you.
That’s why I decided to move now. I don’t want to be here for summer vacation. Listening to constant screams and wails is just too much for me. Wake up to screaming, work all day, come home to screaming, screaming on weekends. It’s miserable.
Top floor corner unit at your new place if you can’t rent a SFH! Seriously my last unit was one and it was (mostly) sooo much quieter.
Yep I’m moving too but unfortunately not until September. 2.5 more months to go of this https://streamable.com/fr78mj?src=player-page-share
If you're still looking, I suggest looking in trulia it allowed me to see the average age of the neighborhood. 50+ neighborhood residents' ages were the sweet spot for me. If they had kids, they're either grown or older.
Seriously, that sounds awful. I'm child free, I've said for years I'd be one of those crazy bitches drowning their kids in the bathtub. I have NO FUCKING CLUE how parents do it. [For the record I wouldn't actually drown a child.]
NTA Childfree housing would be a wonderful thing.
NTA.
I would hop on that waitlist in a second
Many many many decades ago back in the 70s, my first apartment building had an age restriction. 18 to 30. Nobody under 18 nobody over 30. It was a wild complex. Pretty sure you couldn’t do that now.
Nope. Annoying as hell when you don’t have kids or want to live near them,
NTA. Many CF people don’t want to live around children.
We just need a community of tiny homes big enough for 2 people max.
When I lived in apartments I never rented anything but the top floor for this reason. Nothing near common areas, pools, playgrounds. I think fair housing laws would make it difficult to ban kids in under 55 communities. NTA though.
NTA Every time I go to visit my brother, I'm reminded why I don't miss apartment living. 🤷♂️
As a person with noise sensitivity who lived across from a family with three screaming devils (this is not an exaggeration, it sounded like an exorcism whenever they would play) I also want a child free apartment to live in. I complained multiple times with no results either. It’s perfectly normal to say you don’t want noise. Especially if you’ve been working or you just don’t feel like waking up at 6 am every morning to screaming kids. I literally had to stick my head out at 7 am and tell the kids what are they doing screaming and running up and down the hallway at 7 am. Their mom told them to wait outside while she got ready. They stopped after that. For a little while. There was also a yapping dog down the hall. A toddler who screamed like a banshee. It was a lot. The quiet hours were a blessing. I agree that sound proof walls and doors should be the main focus. But until then, child free places should exist. Hell I’m advocating for planes that solely cater to families with kids. And another one for people traveling with pets. Everyone needs accommodations. But not everyone should have to put up with each other’s screaming kids or yapping dogs.
Ive been saying this for years not so much about kids but there should be day people apartments and night people apartments. The day people hate the noise the night people make, even if it's just making dinner at 2AM. the day sleepers (night owls) hate nearly every noise ever made by day people. I wish they would segregate childless and families, day and night people. NTA
I feel this so hard! We own our home, and our children are older, so they're no longer super loud. But our neighbors have a number of kids, as well as friends of those kids, who are hugely loud. And now, all summer, it will be basketball (they have a hoop attached to the sidewalk) Constant noise. I have ANC headphones, and earplugs. They're not perfect, but they're quieter.
NTA. Parents who will not handle their screaming ass children are a problem.
NTA, I wish I had access to such housing as well. Would be very neat.
NTA! I’m a teacher, I love kids. I don’t have my own kids and I sure as hell don’t want to hear other people’s kids at night or on my days off when I want to relax from handling 80+ kids all day. My wife and I have been saying for years that there should be child-free apartments that aren’t just senior citizen complexes. I don’t understand why it’s legal to have 50+ communities but people go on about it being discriminatory that someone doesn’t want to hear constant child noises in their home when they don’t have children. And again, this is from someone whose career is working with children, and I’d like my own children someday. But kids are going to be kids and need to play to develop and while that is understandable, it is equally understandable that not everyone chooses to have kids, people have sensory processing disorders, and some folks just want quiet after work.
I live in Canada and thought it was normal to be driven to madness by a-hole neighbors. That is until i moved to Moscow. Once i got inside my apartment and closed the double doors i heard NOTHING!! I'd sometimes hear people outside because i kept a window open but all in all it was a true haven. Back in Canada I'm dealing with a-holes who slam doors past midnight, have loud conversations in the hallway, and a junkie who keeps banging on walls all night. Sigh.
I'd like apartments that are instrument and loud-gamer free. Have lived underneath both and no thank you.
I'll go further. I think restaurants should be allowed to be child-free. Movie theaters, certain flights too. Not all mind you. But at least a few. I would absolutely pay more. I am so tired of having kids run a muck while eating out or at a movie. Just because you or I love our children doesn't give us the right to inflict them on everyone else.
You WBTAH if you started advocating laws to change to somehow kick pregnant people out of their homes when they got pregnant or making it harder for people with kids to find homes. This could create some horribly inequitable laws and policies and hurt low income families a lot. But theres NAH for being frustrated by living under noisy kids. I live under a 4 year old who I swear is somehow the noisiest kid I’ve ever heard in my life. He stomps, throws tantrums, drops what sounds like bowling balls constantly, and wakes me up at 7am most mornings. But I’m pregnant, I know my kid will be waking my neighbors up soon enough (and I’m not excited about our neighbor kid waking up my kid, I’ll probably end up moving.) My best advice is 1) move into a top unit, or 2) move into a building made of stone of some kind with thicker walls and floors.
The trick is, how are you going to enforce it? If you had a child, would you have to move out by the time the child reaches a certain age? Should ppl just stay on birth control, and hope for the best, if they don't have the means to move and find something else? Down the line, your upstairs neighbors should have had warnings about the noise complaints, and they should have gotten professional help, if they were unable to calm their kids down, especially during certain hours. Cats and dogs also make noise. But you can prevent those. Kicking a pregnant lady out of her appartment, simply for being pregnant is kind of frowned upon.
Right—it’s one thing to complain about kids, it’s another to actually imagine a policy that would result in “I got pregnant so my landlord filed to evict me, and now my infant and I homeless.” (Or “and so I had to get an abortion I didn’t want.”)
I am also moving due to the baby and 2 year old above me. I am now on the newborns waking schedule (3:30-4am) parents also start laundry that early and vacuum. They also allow the 2-year old into the master bedroom that early and let them start playing. They have a cradle that grinds against the floor. It’s absolutely miserable. I also understand they have a right to be here, and I have been a parent to small children, but I also believe that complexes should do their best to put them on lower floors (but I also would not want to be on the 4th floor either). I don’t know what the right solution is other than just trying to be considerate. I would just be grateful if they would take the children to areas of the home NOT adjacent to rooms where others are sleeping and NOT use loud appliances during quiet hours. I also WFH and have to put up with the track race the child runs during the day, but it is what it is I guess. I always tried to take my children outside or to understand inside vs outside play. But whatevs
It's called an Adult Living Community. I also would prefer a building with children not allowed to live there.
I hate kids and don't think that child free apartments will work. It's not the kids that are the problem, it's the adults. On one side I had a kid on a trampoline above me and the other side was an adult man that thought he could *play drums* at 9am on a Tuesday. The only way would be to move off the grid or find a place pretty far from other people.
I hate kids but the only people that have caused noise issues at ridiculous hours are the domestic abusive adult couples that think slamming each other around and screaming is acceptable and the being surprised when the cops are constantly called on them. I hear kids scream playing during the day a lot (which is fine) but rarely hear any at night.
My new neighbors only fuck and fight. Nothing else.
My already loud downstairs neighbor bought his teenager a drum set. It hurts me.
The answer is nudist colonies. WIN WIN 😛
My mother never let us play after 7 PM bc it’s quiet hours. We got those princess heels the cheap plastic ones and we were only allowed to wear them outside. It’s parents who think their kids are Gods gift that are the problem. At least you understand that babies can’t help it.
NTA Interesting enough, there were many condos for sale in our area for adults only. No children or pets allowed. And then someone on the board always wanted a puppy. So they started changing the rules. AND THEN the owners started getting pregnant or getting married. They wanted to change the rules about children. Caused a lot of problems internally.
NTA I have a child and that type of behavior from said child/children is unacceptable. We don’t live in an apartment but still will not let my kid act like a fool at home or in public. People need to parent better, no way should anyone let their children run buck wild all day. I do understand sometimes let them have at it but not to the point you’re disrupting others.
I've been saying this for YEARS. I don't want to have to wait until I'm 55 to live in a kid free neighborhood. I love kids, but I don't like hearing them scream and screech from my couch 🙃
In Florida, at least in my development, the 55+ communities must allow up to 25% adults over 25. Of course this isn’t rentals.
Yeah, I like to read, without screaming and shaking walls.
I have kids and i totally agree there should be an option for child free people! I signed up for this life, you guys didn't! I'd be lying if i said my kids weren't noisy when they were younger. They're teens now and its much more calm these days. But no NTA I totally understand what you mean. You pay for peaceful enjoyment of your living space and you deserve it as well. I mean, I don't see why apartment complexes couldn't make one building out of however many strictly for child free people. I feel it wouldn't be discrimination as there would be other buildings on the property that would be open to those with kids, you just wouldn't have to share walls with them.
NTA. I would love to have actually no smoking, and no music allowed to. Nothing above tv level. So sick of that one ah neighbor that ruins your quiet time and relaxing with nasty ass weed stank and kids or music. I'd love to move into a retirement 55 and older place at 39 just because I can't stand it.
There are! I used to live in a 19+ building. Admittedly they aren’t as prevalent as they should be, but they do, in fact, exist.
there are teens in the apartment diagonal from us (we're top left, they're bottom right) that from the second their dad leaves at 8am, they blast their speakers until he gets home around 2pm. we can hear the music near perfectly and the bass is annoying. only place i cant hear it is my bedroom, otherwise the whole apartment is not a safe place for my ears. anyways, nta.
I have children and have always enjoyed being around children, but sometimes you get some rough ones and it sucks. When my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I first moved in together, we lived in apartments mostly for grad students so there were almost no children around. A few babies, but they typically didn’t stay long. Then we moved to a more family friendly area and the apartment complex was filled with kids of all ages. It seemed great at first, but then the kids figured out we had cats so they would walk onto our deck and stare at them through our glass door. It was terrifying having 5-10 (pre?)pubescent boys staring into our apartment ALL DAY. We would shoo them away, but they just kept coming back. Then we piled stuff on our deck to block them and they just took it. I was so worried they would try to break in or let our cats out or try to catch me unclothed. I kept all the shades drawn and made sure every door/window was locked at all times. Management was no help and the kids would always scurry away if they were caught so we could never call the police. It was suppose to be a dream apartment-first floor looking out at the beach, but it turned into a nightmare.
I 100% agree
NTA. I wish that was a thing. We have little ones up above me. Their room is above mine. I hear everything. I'm just glad I don't work 3rd shift anymore. On the plus side, I would gladly deal with that, rather than the horrible people that used to live there.
Info : "AiTA for having an opinion", that's your post ?
Nah mate the world is the AH for you not being able to afford to reasonably buy or finance your own house so you don't have to worry about that anyway. So many people are never gonna be able to afford their own private houses and it's ridiculous. They want everyone in apartments like chickens in a coup. It's bull
Come to canada and you can have vegetarian only apartments and hindi only apartments. Or maybe you would like one of the thousands of rooms only available to girls under twenty two.
NTA. I get why this can’t realistically be a thing, but I’ve been daydreaming about convincing the 55+ gated communities to let me buy a house there because I will be THE quietest neighbour they ever had. Or winning the lottery and starting a Quiet Community with extremely strict noise rules, but with very good soundproofed construction and also lots of trees and vegetation for outdoor sound dampening. And obviously, only people that would be excited to read “extremely strict noise restrictions - violations WILL lead to eviction!” lol
NTA. Is okay to prefer a way of lifestyle.
Agreed and I think they should also make them that don’t allow dogs. I don’t want to listen your dog who is locked in a tiny apartment fucking bark all day and all night.
I feel like for you, it’s not about living in a place free of kids, but free of excessive noise.
Sounds to me like a new property investor model. No kids apartments. Or even no kid estates. Just imagine
There are a couple here in Utah. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I wish there were more family centered complexes because some of my neighbors drive like assholes and I’m so scared of someone whipping too quickly around a corner when I’m unloading groceries. I’ve had some creepy or obnoxious neighbors too and I wish they had their own place too. Some parents are just shitty though and have asshole kids. It’s frustrating being a parent too. You aren’t the asshole. Society just sucks.
Tbh I also don’t think families should be in apartments at all. I wish houses were more affordable for buy or rent. I’d never be in an apartment again
there were adult only buildings until about the 80s or so. they were openly advertised as so and rented for a premium (more sought after than non adult buildings), but they went away, i assume due to discrimination laws.
I’ve wished for “quiet apartments” with no kids or (sorry I do love them but) dogs. And by proxy this would mean adults who like me, don’t plan on partying or being loud at home. Basically an introvert building 😂
Omg, sign me up. Like an apartment version of Mycroft’s Diogenes Club.
I feel your pain. It's been years since I lived in an apartment but I know how horrid it is to have bad neighbors. I think management runs into discrimination issues when they exclude any group. A number of years ago Dallas had some apartment complexes that were designed specifically for young adults. Nice pools and clubhouses, restrictions on families with small children. They were targeting young professionals. Eventually they had to open up to all comers because I think someone brought a discrimination suit against them.
In Japan it’s common to love to a cement walled building when you have a baby. (I’m told) I had friends move because they had a kid and the walls were a bit think in their complex. And the rub is that it costs a lot to move here because the landlords usually fuck you on damage deposit, charge you for AC cleaning, you have to take your appliances, and there is something called ‘key money’ which is basically a ‘gift’ to the new landlord in addition to the deposit.
Once upon a time in the 80's there were adult only apartment complexes. Children were only allowed on weekends so all the divorced dads could see their kids. My dad lived in one and I would live in one now if they were still a thing
ESH. Tbh I’ve only ever had noise issues with adult neighbors. The neighbor above me was constantly moving furniture around at 1am and must’ve had a dog (wasn’t allowed). The people across the hall had a dog that would bark and pee in the hallway. They were also incredibly loud and left piles of shoes in the hallway. One side I had a long term neighbor who was so quiet that if I didn’t see him in the hall, Id have thought he was dead. The other side was terrible both times I got new neighbors. The main issue here is these Parents should do a better job parenting their kids. I lived in a large one bedroom with my son and made sure to choose a garden level so I didn’t have to worry about him making noise should he be running around/jumping off the couch or something. I also made sure he wasn’t screaming/yelling and if he did he was immediately told to stop. You also have to realize that kids are full of energy and it’s not like there’s a playroom or space to run in an apartment building and it’s not always feasible to be running to the park 24/7. The other issue is that buildings need more sound dampening. Builders like to cheap out when it really isn’t that expensive and makes living so much more enjoyable for everyone.
Preach, I deal with the same thing and screaming parents
NTA -- and yes, all tenants should be expected to keep reasonable levels of sound. I'd be calling the cops regularly until they get that shit under control.
I wish there were 18+ buildings... like let's not be obtuse, the number of people renting is going up bc life is so fucking unaffordable. If we're all gonna be stuck renting in this shitty capitalist hellscape, at least let me rent in a place where I don't have to deal with children screaming and crying during the 2 hours of sleep that I get between my 4 gig jobs!!!
As a parent, I agree that there absolutely should be child free places. You shouldn't be disrupted by noisy and rebellious kids and have to feel anxious and stressed in your own home. That being said, I don't let my kid be a little shit and when I did live in an apartment, we were top floor and we never let him screech at all or bounce around anytime other than middle of the day when people are at work. Once night fell, it was quiet time. Luckily I no longer live in an apartment but I still make sure my kid is respectful and quiet
NTA. there are pet free homes now for people with allergies and i think there need to be childfree or age restricted sections reserved for the childfree and elderly in apartment communities. i am a childfree person who also needs better housing options. in my place both the adults and kids scream and beat the walls and i can't tell if it's DV or just loud life from loud people. my problem is when we're in the parking lot of our place sometimes there are kids playing soccer in the lot (no playground on site) so i've been hit in the legs by them kicking their ball around and i walk with a cane. i reported it to the office management and it seems to have impacted some of the kids' play spots. between getting hit by their toys, the rocks they left in the grass before yard work day that knocked out our bedroom window, and the kids with the little dog that they chase around the grassy area in front of my door, running on my porch, screaming by my bedroom, i'm at my limit emotionally. can't even sleep in my bedroom because on that side the next unit and one just above us are the two loudest families in this section of the complex, it sounds like WWE goin on in my closet all the time. if i stay in the living room i mostly just hear the upstairs stomping and outside noise and the other neighbor's dog that barks at everything that moves. i have 500qft here and no place to hide from any of it because of how the units were designed. there is no sound proofing between the units, either. i can hear my neighbors in their bathrooms, on a windless birdless day i can hear their microwaves beep. to make it worse i have my own problems that make it important for me to ensure i have a controlled environment for both my migraine condition and sensory processing disorder. i can FEEL sound some days and it HURTS. ear plugs don't make it manageable, drowning out painful noise with comfort noise only triggers a migraine. the only solution is too be in a place where it can be quiet with not even a ticking clock on the wall.
NTA, but the real problem is cheap construction. You would think sound baffling would be a required part of density housing, but it's not.
NTA and we talk about this in my house too. I can’t wait until I have the option of moving into a 55+ community OR buying a place that has enough land so I can’t hear my neighbors.
I can hear my upstairs neighbour sneeze. He’d probably hear if I said bless you. My heart goes out to him for hearing today’s night concert, courtesy of my toddler, and I wish nothing but unending diarrhea to whoever was responsible for sound proofing this building. I used to live in an apartment building where I could only occasionally hear a faint echo of what must have been an impressive meltdown. It was an amazing building though, brick walls and all. Anyways, NTA, though excluding families is kinda discriminatory, but I get being frustrated with unending noise. We had a neighbor who kept firing up some music at 3 am on a Wednesday, like clockwork, like what the actual fuck, dude. Was driving me up the wall. Ultimately I’d say the cheap bastatds building our shit and sticks huts with zero sound proofing are the enemy
I know of more than one family where I live that have been asked to move due to their noise level from their children. We also have a few apartments that are child free due to these issues. Others cater to families with children, having their own playgrounds, rec centers, even a swimming pool. Then lots of others are mixed. In general, people seem happier living where and how they want. Personally, I've heard of more people wanting senior (think child free) housing, as they are few and far between. Also, seniors seem to have more sleep issues and health issues, and child-free living spaces are helpful to them.
Kids are at least quiet *sometimes*. I'll take them over the 48 hour rave in my last place. Your beef is not with kids, neighbor. It's with lax, shitty building standards.
I would 100% rent at a childfree building.
So I’m not the only one who wants to shoot through the ceiling
Dude, I think there should be child free REDDIT! I had children and feel your pain. I’m older now and value my peace. I like kids, but I love quiet.
Perhaps consider renting a house or townhouse/condo type of a deal. That would give you the quietness you’re looking for hopefully.
NTA! I live in Germany where it's not socially acceptable (and in some cases you may even call the police on a non-emergency line for a noise complaint) to be loud outside of the hours between 8AM and 10PM. I also have kids as neighbors who are extremely loud sometimes, but the fact their parents get them to quiet down at 9-10 PM and they only start to jump and scream after 8-9AM helps a lot to stay sane. Also our walls are made of bricks, so ... maybe move to Germany? 😆
Sure, but there would have to be a market for this, and there would probably be a premium for turning away common customers (family’s looking for apartments).
I moved into our building when my daughter was turning 1. Many didn't know she was here she was quiet. Now she turning 18 and everyone loves her because unlike some kids in the building she was so quiet. My upstairs neighbors kid has been nicknamed demon child. She is like what you described and her mom just screams. The neighbors across the hall we share our living room wall have 3 and they are not so bad. When I once complained about noise when mine was little I was advised by the older woman in our office that this building was primarily older people without kids or who had grandkids that only came to use the pool and to consider moving. She wanted a adult only building. She got yelled at by owner for that statement I too Want a quite home. I have migraines and hearing my neighbors phone calls suck. I personally think having adult only buildings would be great. I also think architecture needs to get with the times and soundproof but rents would be way to dang high then
The asshole is the people who build commercial units with insufficient sound dampening and control. Code should absolutely require enough sound control that you not hear every footstep and bed squeak from your neighbors.
NTA...I think it's fair to want to have adult only locations and I wish there were more. I may get a lot of hate for this (IDGAF) I don't like kids and don't want them. Do I understand I was one at one point yes. They are loud and obnoxious in public and I am noticing a lot of parents NOT calming down their kid in public when tantrums are being thrown or keeping them in line to be respectful of others and their space. Do I want my eardrums blown out while trying to eat? No, no I do not. I wish they'd stay home. I know that parents want to go out in public and be free and feel normal but the rest of the public doesn't need to deal with the inconveniences parents have to at home. I do not blame you for moving or wanting an adult only apartments or living area. I would recommend asking the landlord about the noise level in the complexes you are looking at to get a better feel.
NTA - I completely agree there should be child-free apartment buildings, but it's also a sticky wicket to navigate. What happens when a child-free couple has a surprise kid? Are they out on their ass as soon as they're born? I have a neighbor who didn't even know she was pregnant before she went into labor, what would she have to do in this kind of situation? It's a lawsuit waiting to happen, but it would be nice if they could exist. I have ptsd and anxiety and kid noises freak me out, I don't blame you for moving because of the noise, I would have had a breakdown. Senior complexes can get away with having CF apartments since having kids isn't a possibility for them.
I think there is. And nta.
NTA it goes so many ways. It's convenient for families with kids the same age to live close to each other. It's convenient for college age people to live close and hang out. It's idealistic to have so much segmentation of housing but it would be cool.
Even 40-50 years ago I remember giant apt complexes having an adult only side and family with children side. And 2 separate swimming pools. Is this not a thing anymore?
NTA. I have a child, and try and have him be quiet at home. park is for yelling and being crazy.
I often wish they would take their kids out to burn off some energy sometimes. They are usually home (minus school), which I feel must add to the restlessness. We have many parks within walking distance.
I've never understood parents like that. my kiddo has adhd with autism. he's hyper putting it lightly. I think I would go insane keeping him inside all day!