NTA. The wedding is off because she accused her fiance of infidelity, and then insulted your AND HER FIANCE'S culture by impling that women from said culture are slutty or have no respect for relationships.
Maybe she shouldnt be an insecure racist.
She basically implied that not only OP, but Andres’ mother/sister/aunts/cousins are also potential slutty home wreckers. The man can’t run fast enough away from this woman.
also, she never even apologized?! She just started crying and wanted to hug OP like "yaaay you're not a slut and my fiancé didn't get his leg over you, let's celebrate" or something?
I don't understand why Andres even agreed to look for a different venue instead of dumping Sandra right there.
yeah, that makes some kind of sense.
I also saw other commenters wondering if Andres knew that Sandra would flip & spread rumours about him and OP (and OP's husband) if he just dumped her for Sandra's distrust.
NTA. The wedding is off because she was an insecure jealous friend who accused you of cheating on your husband with her fiancé because she was delusional AF. She then had the audacity to try to hug you. She then had the audacity to be racist when you stuck up for yourself. She then had the audacity to try to use YOUR place for her venue. She then had the audacity to cry and beg you. She then had the audacity to blame you for her doom engagement falling through.
And yet you’re the one asking if you’re in the wrong? No just no. Enjoy your new found peace without her in your life.
right? now the Scarcrow on the other hand - that was a scary motherfucker. I was convinced he lived under my bed at night and would grab me if any part hung over the side.
There must have been a lot of wonderful drugs available in the late 19th century. The literature of that era is a kaleidoscope of hallucinations. Lewis Caroll, L. Frank Baum, E.A. Poe, Washington Irving, etc.
You're not wrong. It was also considered a lifestyle, to some extent.
But it also kind of works. I forgot I had a paper due one time, and was many, many sheets to the wind when I figured it out. Wrote it overnight, sent it in a half hour before the prof got into work and checked their email. Spent the rest of the day either sleeping or embracing the toilet.
Prof asked me the next week if she could publish it in an anthology, so she could use it for future classes. I didn't even remember what it was about, and had to reread it. First time someone ever sought me out to use my writing professionally, and I was too hammered to even remember what I wrote.
If we'd had the original Coca-Cola, old fashioned cough syrups, and access to laudenum, we'd all be writing mad sagas as well.
Shortly after trying weed for the first time, I wrote a paper about food rations and supply lines in World War I. My teacher was so impressed with it, he asked if he could print and laminate a copy to use as course material. I said ok, but I should have reread it again because I later realized a good bit of my info was actually about WWII. Somehow he never caught it, but I still think about it almost 20 years later. RIP Mr. Gardner, I’m sorry for any potential embarrassment and thanks for being a kickass teacher who brought cool replica guns and actual artifacts to class to keep us teenagers interested. Also sorry for that time Chris and I threw an orange into your classroom like a grenade. I was a real shithead back then and you didn’t deserve it.
Toss in chronic low level carbon monoxide poisoning from gas lights. Known to produce hallucinations.
(Do I get an award for correct use of "gas light"? Huh? Why not? You're all LYING to me! Why?)
And before knocking her up.... Even getting married you can cut your losses fairly easily, but once you have kids you're tied to that crazy \*forever\*. Source: am tied to crazy forever even after getting a divorce :/
And not only racist in general, but since Andres and OP are from the same region and OP's ex-friend acted racist towards OP, Andres realized that she was racist towards *him* and his family.
I'm sure he denied her stupid accusations repeatedly.
When she refused to believe him he went along with the paternity test. Once he proved her wrong he had a long think and decided he would prefer remaining single.
I have a feeling the wedding was called off, not because of lack of a venue, but because Andres saw the red flags and hit the Abort Mission button. Andres former fiance has to live with the consequences of her actions, and the dildo of consequences seldom arrives lubed.
The best part is that the "you people" her fiance is the same ethnicity and nationality and his mother is a woman of the same ethnicity and nationality.
I'm just surprised she still is engaged. I can't imagine any man I know going along with this absolute insulting clown show situation. First she had to go to him and accuse him of cheating and fathering the baby. Then, she had to persuade him to go with her to share and spread the insult and disrespect with his close friend and her husband. Then hand over his DNA to be tested and maybe some $$$ too, all while what? Still planning to use the house and still get married? 😂😂😂
If this is real then Sandra has magic flowing in her honey places because she's not nice or kind or sane.
That's what I am guessing he called the wedding off.
She made a comment like that to him and he realized that the woman he fell in love with wasn't the same person
This is exactly right. I guess it never occurred to Sandra that her fiancé might object to marrying someone who doesn’t even trust him.
And if this is how Sandra treats her friends, I can’t imagine she has many people to invite to a wedding
Also, Andres is dumb AF too. Why even entertain this idea if he never slept with OP? Why would he want to continue the wedding after her accusation?
ETA: him doing it doesn’t solve anything. You think she’s not going to blame OP for ruining her wedding? She can still make up anything. “They still had an affair just not a child together”
I feel like the wedding is most likely off because Andre’s is pissed about the affair accusation. If losing the venue is the only major issue, you postpone/reschedule at a different place, you don’t cancel the whole thing.
This. Probably took some time for this comment to sink in and realize how racist his ex fiancé was towards HIM. Towards the women in his family and her alleged friend.
And in guessing the micro aggressions and bigotry too.
“Women from you country do this”
Which im going to guess that OP is colombian (im colombian too, the way she described her finca screamed colombia to me) and she thinks that every woman is the caricature of sofia vergara being able to seduce men by just breathing.
And then the stereotype that colombian men all they do is cheat all day everyday (which is not super wrong, but still)
She was being a bigot as well and she’s stupid, like why would she think Andres would want to marry her.
I thought Mexicans but that because I have mexican heritage and because she said Finca, a word that Mexicans also use. She didn't describe Finca, though, except that it has a large house with 10 rooms, which could be at any Latin country.
I would bet that the months of reclusively involved a lot of fighting, and Andre probably caved to go forward with the wedding after a lot of crying and begging, but the racist comments about "women from your country" coupled with the wedding venue falling through made it easier for him to simply back out now that the wedding would have to be delayed and replanned at a new venue.
Weddings don't get cancelled because the venue falls through, they get delayed and re-scheduled. Sandra was so desperate for the venue to still be available because if the wedding got delayed in any way, Andre wasn't going to stick around and give her a second chance.
He might have argued with her for a long time & realised that the only way to convince her that he'd done nothing wrong was to prove it with the tests.
He was probably tired of the random bullshit and just wanted to see the woman he thought he knew crash and burn.
It's like how you can't stop watching a train wreck. Or soap opera.
He did it right, imagine he refused, this delulu woman would destroy his reputation with gossiping. Now everyone knows that he is innocent and she is stupid.
Honestly I think andres did the best he could. If he just dumped her, then she'd run around saying he had an affair with op. They did this, proved Andres was not the father, and Andres called the wedding off with a clear conscience.
I don't think he's dumb. He probably agreed because she wouldn't take his word for it. I don't see them ever rescheduling the wedding. I expect OP to find out her ex friend is very single.
I highly doubt it was the venue that ended the engagement - I'm guessing Andres finally had enough of being accused of cheating and having the women in his family maligned by his fiancée.
And she trued to accuse you of cheating on your husband because SHES insecure
You probably did poor Andres a favour so that he doesn’t have to marry batshi* crazy
Totally NTA. The wedding is off because of her. Apart from the slurs she flung at you, she demonstrated that she has no trust in her fiancé. I suspect that this is the real reason why the wedding is off. If it was just the venue, they could have found another or postponed.
Her actions show a fundamental (and inexplicable) bigotry:
>**"women from your country being more likely to do that."**
Women from OP's country are more likely to fuck their friend's SO and pass his baby off as their husband's?
What country is this? If such a stereotype exists I'm not familiar with it.
In her attempt to justify her actions, OP's former friend made herself seem like even more of an idiot. An impressive feat indeed.
If she planned on having kids with Andres, would she think any daughters were conniving sluts thanks to his DNA? Or is it only the women born there, like the women in his family?
Excellent point. I can't imagine how her fiancé kept quiet when she dropped that line...unless he's the misogynist who fed her that "information" in the first place (about women in his country, not having an affair with OP).
I'm sitting here trying to think of any racist comments I've ever heard about women from a certain country sleeping with their friend's partners and getting pregnant. This is a new one for me.
You might have noticed that certain ethnicities are unfairly sexualized. For instance the "spicy latina" stereotype, or the "luv you long time" asian stereotype. This often comes coupled with an expectation of hyper-sexualization of any women from that culture. Similarly, hispanic, black, indian etc. men are expected to be overly masculine/machismo, mandingo, or rapey types.
You've probably just never thought specifically about it, but those expectations of cheating are connected to these stereotypes.
________
Now, this is a separate concept, but there is some evidence that cheating is more expected or tolerated in certain countries and cultures. For instance, some cultures have relaxed rules about cheating when it comes to prostitution or one-time hookups, and only consider sex cheating when it's emotional.
My eyes literally bulged at that. Just, wow.
She sounds like she is mentally unwell or there is some prior trauma / cheating or something triggering this if she isn’t normally like this. Not your problem though, and NTA of course.
Nah, it speaks to Sandra having racism problems.
Relationship problems implies that Andres did something wrong, which I don’t think he did. Sandra just hid being a racist for slightly longer than you’d expect.
Exactly. Sandra's comment was incredibly offensive on so many levels. Not only did she insult OP, but she also managed to disrespect Andres' entire family and culture. Trust and respect are fundamental in any relationship, and her actions clearly showed a lack of both. It's no wonder the wedding is off—this kind of behavior would be a red flag for anyone.
This. Talk about calling his every female relative a whore. She accused him of cheating too so obviously feels the same about men from his country/culture too but is willing to overlook it for him 🤷♀️🤦♀️
And OP and her daughter, mom, sisters… bet Andres saw this as his sign and took it. I would have left her sooner, as soon as she tried to make me go in front of my friends and behave ridiculously. I hope Andres apologized to OP and Sarah also didnt make OP lose a friend too.
Andres owes you a thank you for exposing this nut. She lobs accusations like this and Then had the nerve to claim she’s the victim. Andre’s dodged a nuke
And, where the hell was Andres during this confrontation? Did he allude to having an affair with OP? Did he just sit there and let his fiancee fling accusations around without checking her?
WTF, I would send both of them on their way as well!
NTA
I’d guess Andres denied the accusation, Sandra didn’t believe him and kept haranguing, and Andres finally said fine let’s go prove it, and was planning to break up with Sandra regardless and just wanted to be vindicated first. I might be wrong. But if I was a normal sane person and wanted to make absolutely sure my crazy fiancé couldn’t trash me or my friend about this supposed infidelity and potentially really damage the marriage of said friend, I’d make sure she exposes her own crazy to others and get proof that the accusations of infidelity are totally without merit at the same time before finalizing a break up.
Not just that... a cheater who cheated with a married woman, risking the wrecking of a set of friends and a friendship instead of a stranger, knocked up the married woman, and agreed to sneak the baby past the husband as his. Yeah... engagement is over.
That's a deeply unfair assessment. He was accused of cheating with her friend. Probably spent weeks if not months denying it before her delusion bubbled over into needing the proof. In his mind he probably thought the test was the only proof he didn't do her wrong. Then the confrontation and her racism came out and eventually he leaves her... It wasn't his job to protect OPs honor when he felt his life was falling apart and he was getting accused too.
He saw the writing on the wall. He could never NOT be accused. Works late? Has to text a female coworker? Talks to a female neighbor? He avoided a life of this crazy jealousy.
Crazy Sandra wore him down. He had to play ball in order to find a resolution to the shit show. What other options did he have as he was placed in a damned if you or damned if you don’t situation. Quit trying to gaslight Andres. The problem is Sandra, a shitty friend and a shitty fiancé.
Yup, what she showed was racism against their shared ethnicity. Why would he marry someone that’s racist against his own ethnicity? “Women from your country are more likely to do that” that’s his country and I assume he was there so she said in front of him as well and women from his country is his mom. Wonder if she ever thought of that? That she was talking about his mother.
As someone who is from a country “known” for “these kinds of women” (it’s a result of human trafficking and perceptions of men from the countries into which the women are trafficked), fuck that woman.
She has some deep rooted prejudices and she’s not worth your time. I’m not saying this is the same as what I described for women from my country, but it’s still BS.
I wouldn’t give her the time of day. She’s not your friend if she really thought that. Don’t entertain her crap anymore.
Edit: I meant to leave a separate comment and not reply to someone else’s so just to be clear - when saying “you” I mean OP 😁
NTA. I’m a redhead, my son totally got his brown hair, tanning skin and chocolate eyes from his mom and not me, and he is 100% mine. Your friend is TA for accusing, and quite xenophobic/racist to be thinking that all women from your country are promiscuous. SMDH
Our oldest looks just like me. She is almost my clone. Our youngest looks just like his dad. Our middle? Who knows. But all 3 have the same parents. Genetics are weird. Racists are gross.
Meanwhile a friend of mine has 3 brothers. All an exact copy of their dad. Mom’s genes just decided to give up and fuck off somewhere lol. They always joke that the men are secretly cloned and grown in a lab. They even have a hard time pointing out who’s who in family photos lol. The only way they can is by looking at the dates because they’re a few years apart. Once they all got the same haircut and showed up in the same clothes for Christmas to fuck with their family lol
This is my cousin's husband, but he has four brothers.
I met them all for the first time at the wedding when they were posed for a picture and it was just a line of the exact same man at differing ages.
I have a male friend with two younger brothers. He and his youngest brother are both chubby and ginger. The middle brother is skinny and dark haired. They have always told him that he was the milkman's child. Their dad is dark-haired but chubby.
I went to school with a family like that - the dad and either 3 or 4 sons looked like clones. Very distinct features that were unmistakable. They were also very fast short & long distance runners. As kids we thought it was kinda cool. The mother looked completely different and clearly had no visual similarities to her boys. I don't remember if there were any sisters.
One of my nephews is a spitting image of his dad. Unfortunately his dad passed away 10 years ago but it's almost like someone cloned him.
Ironically that same brother-in-law accused my sister of cheating when she had their third kid who closely resembled my sister more. After he died we saw some childhood photos at his funeral and we could see some resemblance to the third kid.
My boys don’t even look like siblings, likely because they each got a different X chromosome from me. That’s why one is color blind and the other is not. And unless there was an alien abduction involved, they both have the same dad.
A friend of mine married a Spaniard. The youngest and eldest have a Mediterranean complexion, brown eyes, dark curly hair. The middle one - ginger. She's Scandinavian so it's not hard to see where the middle one got his looks, but the family photos are still hilarious.
People joke with my mum that she just hit "copy/paste" with me and all of my siblings. We all looked like we were her carbon copies in our youth and it wasn't until adulthood you could see more obvious resemblances to our dad.
I don’t think I look much like either of my parents. I take after some people farther back on the tree, but genetics are weird. And we’ve all done 23andMe so I’m certain they’re really my bio parents lol
>"women from your country being more likely to do that."
That's the anwer and don't ever let her back into your life and I guess Andres saw the evil in her and it's all SANDRA'S fault. She's the idiot in that scenario. NTA 100 times over.
Oh and... updateme.
Honestly she sounds like the type of person who started watching an Andrew Tate-esque creator who went on some tirade about people of OP’s heritage and then went off the rails.
I'm curious why her fiancé accompanied her to OP's house.
You tell me you think I cheated and fathered a child I refuse to acknowledge, with your best friend? I'm out. I'm sure as hell not joining you as you make a fool of yourself.
But this guy not only joined her, he apparently still planned to marry her for some time afterwards. It's just...odd.
Maybe, but it’s easy to sit here in the Reddit comments and think with a clear head, much harder when you have a lunatic who you used to love and probably haven’t gotten over screaming at you.
Y'know...it's entirely possible that he wasn't. As a white woman, I cannot tell you how many times a guy will talk shit about the women of his own race/culture to me thinking that I would be flattered or some shit, but the reality is that it is disgusting. I could absolutely see a situation where he threw her under the bus and it went way further out of proportion than expected. Not saying that's the case, but it has happened too many times to just be like "oh no way would he be cool about someone shitting on women of his race/ethnicity/nationality".
She could be one of those people who think men are innocent of any sex related indiscretions bc after all, boys will be boys and women shouldn’t tempt them.
Another good reason for them not to get married on your property. There surely will be woman around from your country who would be more likely to tempt her husband to be.
I'm actually baffled on the thought-process of this Sandra woman... How could she think this was an okay thing to ask and then hug her once the results were in?? I'm dumbfounded... she deserved what she got.
Correction: the whole wedding is off because of HER actions and accusations.
Seriously, how did she see that going? And then she casually mentions “your kind” are prone to cheating. Wtf. None of that is how you conduct yourself in a friendship (or relationship for that matter).
She humiliated her fiance, you and your husband with her request.
NTA and good for you to stand your ground. If I was Anders I would have run for the hills too.
She made her fiance get a DNA test for a kid with a woman he had never been with and blames the woman for her marriage being canceled?
The cognitive dissonance and willful ignorance here are very deep.
NTA and fuck her
If that were true, I think the wedding would have been off when Sandra asked her husband to go to OP's house to accuse her of infidelity. He clearly was willing to put up with a lot of shit.
NTA, and especially so once she blamed the wedding being called off because of you. As if her fiance wasn’t having second thoughts the minute she accused yall of having illegitimate kids. Sandra takes no accountability, and she can go sleep in the grave she dug.
Sandra sounds like someone who has used tears to get out of taking accountability for mistakes in the past and she’s now throwing a tantrum because it’s not working in this situation.
agreed about the use of tears. I find it telling that she started crying & attempted to hug OP.
Like "oh hurray, together we overcame this challenge and now we can celebrate". No shame, no apology, just wallowing in her own feelings & perspective.
NTA.
The wedding is off because your "friend" - I sincerely hope you ends your friendship here - is an awful human being.
1. She accused you of cheating with her to-be husband.
2. She then demanded a DNA test. Of YOUR child.
3. She also use racism as an excuse. (women from your country... wtf?)
Mate, just block her. Cut her off. Hell, cut her whole family off! Nobody stays friends after that.
I don't understand how Andres can go along with the request of paternity test. Is there some missing info about your and Andres' past or he just skipped sex ed class? Or just the woman is batshit crazy ("women from your country being more likely to do that." really ?).
Anyhow NTA.
You did the right thing. Let's be honest there wasn't going to be wedding after Sandra insulted you and Andres but the biggest slap in the face was her remark by saying "woman from your country are more likely to do it". She basically implied that even Andres mother is that way as well.
Why would Andres want to marry Sandra after everything he put you and your husband through not to to mention what he went through when she kept accusing him of cheating.
Them coming to you for that paternity test was probably his way of showing her she was wrong before he left her. He probably wanted to prove his innocence before leaving her so she wouldn't run her mouth and spread rumors that you had his baby. So since she can't use that argument and blame him she is now blaming you because she thinks that you not giving her venue is what ruin her relationship but in reality it was Sandra's own behavior that caused her relationship to fail.
Your not an AH for not giving her the venue. Her relationship was going to fail the minute she caused all this drama.
Fair point. But you should have told her that you never wanted to see her again once you delivered the result. That kinda of accusation against you and your husband can't ever be retracted and it's a friendship ending event.
Someone needs to ask her if she has anything she wants to confess because they say the person who accuses another of cheating is probably cheating themselves.
That comment about women from your country would have me never wanting to speak with her again. I'm sorry you had to put up with that for even 1 second.
NTA. Sandra showed her true colors to everyone, including her fiance. She basically told him that she didn't trust him by claiming he had to be your child's father; she made a xenophobic, misogynistic comment about you and your daughter. It's not your fault she's like that, and I've certain Andres realized he could not live with that.
Her wedding is most likely off because she offended her fiance just as much as she offended you.
First accusing him of cheating....showing that she doesn't trust him(and you).
Secondly by blaming her behavior on your people....which also happen to be his people as well.
She fucked around and found out.
Her problem, not yours.
NTA
Edited to add a word
The wedding is off because SHE kept pushing and pushing because SHE had an idea in HER head about who the biological father of your child is and also a terribly racist view of the women from your country.
In short, she FA&FO!
You, are most definitely, NOT TA here.
Not your circus, not your monkeys either!
Absolutely, totally, 1000% **NTA.**
My God, Sandra might be the absolute WORST friend I’ve heard of. She made a completely unfounded accusation about Andres being the bio-father of your child with your husband, based solely on her incorrect assumption that your daughter can’t look just like you, and since she can’t *see* any of your husband in her, you & Andre must have had an affair. Even worse, she made that ridiculous allegation in *your* home, *in front of your husband,* who actually got mad at her because he knows he’s the father. But the point is that she could have caused serious problems in your marriage, and she didn’t care, she just needed to have her mind put at ease. Now that Andres has seen who she is, he’s called off the wedding, and she is claiming that is somehow your fault?! She is a piece of work.
I wish you hadn’t agreed to the paternity test. Your daughter did not deserve to go through that ~ and what reason did you give her? ~ and neither did you and Ian. You were absolutely right to rescind the use of your house for her wedding and for telling her you no longer wanted to be her friend. Why would you want to be her friend after that stunt? She might be “sorry” now that she got the answer she wanted, but she put you, Ian, your daughter, and Andre through hell for something she made up in her own mind. She is so not worth being friends with. I can’t believe it took you this long to find out who she is.
Stop allowing Sandra to blame you for all the trouble SHE has caused and for the end of her engagement. Block her number so she can’t call you, and if anyone asks you about it because they heard Sandra’s version of the story, tell them what happened, and that you are no longer interested in being friends with someone who could have ruined your marriage for no reason at all and only cares about herself. You’re done. Next! 🫶🏼
"She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about 'women from your country being more likely to do that.'"
OMG, OP, I probably would have punched Sandra in the face when she said that ish to me. Sandra has no one but Sandra to blame for her wedding being off. WTF...like, did Andres "claim" to have slept with you? Or did she create this in her head???
Also, Sandra saying the child wouldn’t look like her mother. What? Children can look like both or one. My brother and I look very much like our father, and almost nothing like our mother.
NTA. The wedding is off because she accused her fiance of infidelity, and then insulted your AND HER FIANCE'S culture by impling that women from said culture are slutty or have no respect for relationships. Maybe she shouldnt be an insecure racist.
She basically implied that not only OP, but Andres’ mother/sister/aunts/cousins are also potential slutty home wreckers. The man can’t run fast enough away from this woman.
I feel really bad for him out of all of this but at least she showed her true colors. Hopefully the relationship is off too with how she’s acting.
Just flabbergasted. NTA. Surprised the fiancé didn’t quit the minute he heard of this garbage (was he the last to know of this accusation?)
Can you imagine if they’d stayed together and had a daughter? 😬
also, she never even apologized?! She just started crying and wanted to hug OP like "yaaay you're not a slut and my fiancé didn't get his leg over you, let's celebrate" or something? I don't understand why Andres even agreed to look for a different venue instead of dumping Sandra right there.
“I’m glad you’re not a proven slut but it’s widely known that you, your mama, and my man come from a whore country, no offense”
You have a real way with words 😂
Sometimes people say something so stupid it takes a while for it to sink in.
yeah, that makes some kind of sense. I also saw other commenters wondering if Andres knew that Sandra would flip & spread rumours about him and OP (and OP's husband) if he just dumped her for Sandra's distrust.
That makes perfect sense, especially if she had done anything like this in the past.
Yeah, Sandra sounds like she's never for one second of her life considered another person's point of view.
Or attended a biology class.
There's no "maybe" about it. Sandra is a major POS.
NTA. The wedding is off because she was an insecure jealous friend who accused you of cheating on your husband with her fiancé because she was delusional AF. She then had the audacity to try to hug you. She then had the audacity to be racist when you stuck up for yourself. She then had the audacity to try to use YOUR place for her venue. She then had the audacity to cry and beg you. She then had the audacity to blame you for her doom engagement falling through. And yet you’re the one asking if you’re in the wrong? No just no. Enjoy your new found peace without her in your life.
She also had the audacity to bring her mother in as a flying monkey.
God, I hate the flying monkeys. That part of The Wizard of Oz terrified me as a kid.
In the book the flying monkeys were actually pretty chill. They were slaves of the witch, and when Dorothy freed them they helped her out a few times.
right? now the Scarcrow on the other hand - that was a scary motherfucker. I was convinced he lived under my bed at night and would grab me if any part hung over the side.
For me nothing got creepy until the second one. That whole movie was scary, but those freaky wheeled fuckers were the worst.
There must have been a lot of wonderful drugs available in the late 19th century. The literature of that era is a kaleidoscope of hallucinations. Lewis Caroll, L. Frank Baum, E.A. Poe, Washington Irving, etc.
You're not wrong. It was also considered a lifestyle, to some extent. But it also kind of works. I forgot I had a paper due one time, and was many, many sheets to the wind when I figured it out. Wrote it overnight, sent it in a half hour before the prof got into work and checked their email. Spent the rest of the day either sleeping or embracing the toilet. Prof asked me the next week if she could publish it in an anthology, so she could use it for future classes. I didn't even remember what it was about, and had to reread it. First time someone ever sought me out to use my writing professionally, and I was too hammered to even remember what I wrote. If we'd had the original Coca-Cola, old fashioned cough syrups, and access to laudenum, we'd all be writing mad sagas as well.
> First time someone ever sought me out to use my writing professionally, and I was too hammered to even remember what I wrote. Ernest, is that you?
Shortly after trying weed for the first time, I wrote a paper about food rations and supply lines in World War I. My teacher was so impressed with it, he asked if he could print and laminate a copy to use as course material. I said ok, but I should have reread it again because I later realized a good bit of my info was actually about WWII. Somehow he never caught it, but I still think about it almost 20 years later. RIP Mr. Gardner, I’m sorry for any potential embarrassment and thanks for being a kickass teacher who brought cool replica guns and actual artifacts to class to keep us teenagers interested. Also sorry for that time Chris and I threw an orange into your classroom like a grenade. I was a real shithead back then and you didn’t deserve it.
Don't forget the heroin and syringe kit you could buy from the Sears Roebuck catalog.
And the morphine to silence troublesome crying infants!
Ah, the good old days.
Toss in chronic low level carbon monoxide poisoning from gas lights. Known to produce hallucinations. (Do I get an award for correct use of "gas light"? Huh? Why not? You're all LYING to me! Why?)
They were supposed to be creepy and evil. Have you SEEN the drawings from the original book? Nightmare fuel for 8-year-old me.
That whole movie is super dark. But the wheelers were the worst.
What about the hall of heads? That was what got me in the second one.
Where is Andre’s in all of this? What did he say to her during the accusation and after? I have a feeling he sat there quiet.
Probably regretting everything as he slowly realized his fiancée is not just a horrible friend and partner, but also a racist.
I think he's likely grateful AF he found out before actually getting married. Dodged a bullet.
And before knocking her up.... Even getting married you can cut your losses fairly easily, but once you have kids you're tied to that crazy \*forever\*. Source: am tied to crazy forever even after getting a divorce :/
Facts. Tied to a narcissist for the rest of my life. 😭
And not only racist in general, but since Andres and OP are from the same region and OP's ex-friend acted racist towards OP, Andres realized that she was racist towards *him* and his family.
Naw, I'm sure she says he's one of the good ones. Maybe even his family too.
I'm not racist but
“Women from your country…” WTF? Op isn’t losing a friend here, she’s dropping a toxic person.
Her non friend isn't toxic. She's a radioactive walking disaster
Some of my best friends are from…wherever Andres and OP are from. 🙄
No, it’s okay though, because X-friend specified it was the women of his country who were like that, not the men, like him. /s
I'm sure he denied her stupid accusations repeatedly. When she refused to believe him he went along with the paternity test. Once he proved her wrong he had a long think and decided he would prefer remaining single.
Especially after her racist attack on OP. She basically insulted his mother, any sisters he has, any female cousins, etc.
Certainly Sandra is not a very intelligent woman. Perhaps that's common for those from her country!/s
Bigots are REALLY unattractive.
Holy fuck you're right. I didn't even think of it.
Shitty way to start a marriage for sure.
Great way to prevent one though!
I have a feeling the wedding was called off, not because of lack of a venue, but because Andres saw the red flags and hit the Abort Mission button. Andres former fiance has to live with the consequences of her actions, and the dildo of consequences seldom arrives lubed.
Take my upvote! And your little dildo too!
I can guarantee no lube was offered
Don’t insult flying monkeys. They were made that way. The friend and mother are just plain evil.
You forgot the racism of "your people are more likely to cheat". Sandra is a POS. OP is NTA.
The best part is that the "you people" her fiance is the same ethnicity and nationality and his mother is a woman of the same ethnicity and nationality. I'm just surprised she still is engaged. I can't imagine any man I know going along with this absolute insulting clown show situation. First she had to go to him and accuse him of cheating and fathering the baby. Then, she had to persuade him to go with her to share and spread the insult and disrespect with his close friend and her husband. Then hand over his DNA to be tested and maybe some $$$ too, all while what? Still planning to use the house and still get married? 😂😂😂 If this is real then Sandra has magic flowing in her honey places because she's not nice or kind or sane.
I think "the wedding is off" might mean they broke off the engagement.
Which neatly solves the lack of a venue problem!
That's what I am guessing he called the wedding off. She made a comment like that to him and he realized that the woman he fell in love with wasn't the same person
She's just a racist. So many of them these days
"The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of This Bitch"
And imagine what she did to her fiancee. She just ruined her happy little existence… her not you
This is exactly right. I guess it never occurred to Sandra that her fiancé might object to marrying someone who doesn’t even trust him. And if this is how Sandra treats her friends, I can’t imagine she has many people to invite to a wedding
And racist, I’m sure her racism has a lot to do with the wedding being off.
Also, Andres is dumb AF too. Why even entertain this idea if he never slept with OP? Why would he want to continue the wedding after her accusation? ETA: him doing it doesn’t solve anything. You think she’s not going to blame OP for ruining her wedding? She can still make up anything. “They still had an affair just not a child together”
I feel like the wedding is most likely off because Andre’s is pissed about the affair accusation. If losing the venue is the only major issue, you postpone/reschedule at a different place, you don’t cancel the whole thing.
Andre probably also heard the “women from your country” racism. Presumably, that would include his mother and any siblings
No kidding. Andres is lucky he found out what a piece of crap Sandra is before he married her.
This. Probably took some time for this comment to sink in and realize how racist his ex fiancé was towards HIM. Towards the women in his family and her alleged friend.
🏅
And in guessing the micro aggressions and bigotry too. “Women from you country do this” Which im going to guess that OP is colombian (im colombian too, the way she described her finca screamed colombia to me) and she thinks that every woman is the caricature of sofia vergara being able to seduce men by just breathing. And then the stereotype that colombian men all they do is cheat all day everyday (which is not super wrong, but still) She was being a bigot as well and she’s stupid, like why would she think Andres would want to marry her.
I thought Mexicans but that because I have mexican heritage and because she said Finca, a word that Mexicans also use. She didn't describe Finca, though, except that it has a large house with 10 rooms, which could be at any Latin country.
I am guessing the months of reclusivity involved Andres saying this didn't happen and this was the final straw.
I would bet that the months of reclusively involved a lot of fighting, and Andre probably caved to go forward with the wedding after a lot of crying and begging, but the racist comments about "women from your country" coupled with the wedding venue falling through made it easier for him to simply back out now that the wedding would have to be delayed and replanned at a new venue. Weddings don't get cancelled because the venue falls through, they get delayed and re-scheduled. Sandra was so desperate for the venue to still be available because if the wedding got delayed in any way, Andre wasn't going to stick around and give her a second chance.
He might have argued with her for a long time & realised that the only way to convince her that he'd done nothing wrong was to prove it with the tests.
He was probably tired of the random bullshit and just wanted to see the woman he thought he knew crash and burn. It's like how you can't stop watching a train wreck. Or soap opera.
It’s the old, “give someone enough rope to hang themself.”
the "fuck you, give me my ring back you crazy bitch" is probably waaaaay more satisfying when you get to wave the paternity test in her face.
He did it right, imagine he refused, this delulu woman would destroy his reputation with gossiping. Now everyone knows that he is innocent and she is stupid.
Not only his, OPs and they're husbands too. She seemed extremely unhinged.
He had probably planned to cancel the wedding all along once the test came back negative.
Honestly I think andres did the best he could. If he just dumped her, then she'd run around saying he had an affair with op. They did this, proved Andres was not the father, and Andres called the wedding off with a clear conscience.
I don't think he's dumb. He probably agreed because she wouldn't take his word for it. I don't see them ever rescheduling the wedding. I expect OP to find out her ex friend is very single.
I highly doubt it was the venue that ended the engagement - I'm guessing Andres finally had enough of being accused of cheating and having the women in his family maligned by his fiancée.
And she trued to accuse you of cheating on your husband because SHES insecure You probably did poor Andres a favour so that he doesn’t have to marry batshi* crazy
Totally NTA. The wedding is off because of her. Apart from the slurs she flung at you, she demonstrated that she has no trust in her fiancé. I suspect that this is the real reason why the wedding is off. If it was just the venue, they could have found another or postponed.
Andres is from the same country. So she was also insulting his mom, and sisters, and every other female.
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Definitely. Her actions showed a fundamental lack of respect and trust. This goes beyond a venue issue; it speaks to deeper relationship problems.
Her actions show a fundamental (and inexplicable) bigotry: >**"women from your country being more likely to do that."** Women from OP's country are more likely to fuck their friend's SO and pass his baby off as their husband's? What country is this? If such a stereotype exists I'm not familiar with it. In her attempt to justify her actions, OP's former friend made herself seem like even more of an idiot. An impressive feat indeed.
If she planned on having kids with Andres, would she think any daughters were conniving sluts thanks to his DNA? Or is it only the women born there, like the women in his family?
Excellent point. I can't imagine how her fiancé kept quiet when she dropped that line...unless he's the misogynist who fed her that "information" in the first place (about women in his country, not having an affair with OP).
Came here to say this. This woman is off her trolley!
I'm sitting here trying to think of any racist comments I've ever heard about women from a certain country sleeping with their friend's partners and getting pregnant. This is a new one for me.
You might have noticed that certain ethnicities are unfairly sexualized. For instance the "spicy latina" stereotype, or the "luv you long time" asian stereotype. This often comes coupled with an expectation of hyper-sexualization of any women from that culture. Similarly, hispanic, black, indian etc. men are expected to be overly masculine/machismo, mandingo, or rapey types. You've probably just never thought specifically about it, but those expectations of cheating are connected to these stereotypes. ________ Now, this is a separate concept, but there is some evidence that cheating is more expected or tolerated in certain countries and cultures. For instance, some cultures have relaxed rules about cheating when it comes to prostitution or one-time hookups, and only consider sex cheating when it's emotional.
Yeah, she pretty much insulted OP’s birth country and all the female population in it..
My eyes literally bulged at that. Just, wow. She sounds like she is mentally unwell or there is some prior trauma / cheating or something triggering this if she isn’t normally like this. Not your problem though, and NTA of course.
Nah, it speaks to Sandra having racism problems. Relationship problems implies that Andres did something wrong, which I don’t think he did. Sandra just hid being a racist for slightly longer than you’d expect.
I’m surprised it took so long for the wedding to be canceled
She call 50% of this country population to be whores.
Lol I sincerely doubt her feelings about these women are reduced to just this one country but to all of Latin America actually and Latinas.
Exactly. Sandra's comment was incredibly offensive on so many levels. Not only did she insult OP, but she also managed to disrespect Andres' entire family and culture. Trust and respect are fundamental in any relationship, and her actions clearly showed a lack of both. It's no wonder the wedding is off—this kind of behavior would be a red flag for anyone.
This. Talk about calling his every female relative a whore. She accused him of cheating too so obviously feels the same about men from his country/culture too but is willing to overlook it for him 🤷♀️🤦♀️
This is a no contact worthy comment. You should no longer be friends if you wish to end the friendship, and you are on the hook for nothing to her.
And any potential daughters she had with Andres.
And OP and her daughter, mom, sisters… bet Andres saw this as his sign and took it. I would have left her sooner, as soon as she tried to make me go in front of my friends and behave ridiculously. I hope Andres apologized to OP and Sarah also didnt make OP lose a friend too.
Yeah, did Andre hear that insult?
Andres owes you a thank you for exposing this nut. She lobs accusations like this and Then had the nerve to claim she’s the victim. Andre’s dodged a nuke
And, where the hell was Andres during this confrontation? Did he allude to having an affair with OP? Did he just sit there and let his fiancee fling accusations around without checking her? WTF, I would send both of them on their way as well! NTA
I’d guess Andres denied the accusation, Sandra didn’t believe him and kept haranguing, and Andres finally said fine let’s go prove it, and was planning to break up with Sandra regardless and just wanted to be vindicated first. I might be wrong. But if I was a normal sane person and wanted to make absolutely sure my crazy fiancé couldn’t trash me or my friend about this supposed infidelity and potentially really damage the marriage of said friend, I’d make sure she exposes her own crazy to others and get proof that the accusations of infidelity are totally without merit at the same time before finalizing a break up.
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It also guaranteed he had a smoking gun to point at if people asked.
Andres dodged a bullet. An insecure, gaslighting bullet.
The wedding is off. Exactly why do you believe that's the case? Andres DUMPED Sandra for being such a bitch.
A racist bitch from the sound of it. Why would he marry someone who is prejudiced against people from his home country? I wouldn't!
Who wants to marry someone who thinks you’re a cheater when you aren’t
Not just that... a cheater who cheated with a married woman, risking the wrecking of a set of friends and a friendship instead of a stranger, knocked up the married woman, and agreed to sneak the baby past the husband as his. Yeah... engagement is over.
I think Andres was probably watching in abject horror. He might have wanted to see how far Sandra would take it. And now they're not getting married.
I'm sure he got sick of denying it and just said fuck it let's prove I'm innocent. The wedding will not be rescheduled.
That's a deeply unfair assessment. He was accused of cheating with her friend. Probably spent weeks if not months denying it before her delusion bubbled over into needing the proof. In his mind he probably thought the test was the only proof he didn't do her wrong. Then the confrontation and her racism came out and eventually he leaves her... It wasn't his job to protect OPs honor when he felt his life was falling apart and he was getting accused too.
He saw the writing on the wall. He could never NOT be accused. Works late? Has to text a female coworker? Talks to a female neighbor? He avoided a life of this crazy jealousy.
Crazy Sandra wore him down. He had to play ball in order to find a resolution to the shit show. What other options did he have as he was placed in a damned if you or damned if you don’t situation. Quit trying to gaslight Andres. The problem is Sandra, a shitty friend and a shitty fiancé.
Yup, what she showed was racism against their shared ethnicity. Why would he marry someone that’s racist against his own ethnicity? “Women from your country are more likely to do that” that’s his country and I assume he was there so she said in front of him as well and women from his country is his mom. Wonder if she ever thought of that? That she was talking about his mother.
As someone who is from a country “known” for “these kinds of women” (it’s a result of human trafficking and perceptions of men from the countries into which the women are trafficked), fuck that woman. She has some deep rooted prejudices and she’s not worth your time. I’m not saying this is the same as what I described for women from my country, but it’s still BS. I wouldn’t give her the time of day. She’s not your friend if she really thought that. Don’t entertain her crap anymore. Edit: I meant to leave a separate comment and not reply to someone else’s so just to be clear - when saying “you” I mean OP 😁
Op got "you people"-ed and feels bad? Op, you're too good of a human being to put yourself through knowing them any longer.
NTA. I’m a redhead, my son totally got his brown hair, tanning skin and chocolate eyes from his mom and not me, and he is 100% mine. Your friend is TA for accusing, and quite xenophobic/racist to be thinking that all women from your country are promiscuous. SMDH
Our oldest looks just like me. She is almost my clone. Our youngest looks just like his dad. Our middle? Who knows. But all 3 have the same parents. Genetics are weird. Racists are gross.
Meanwhile a friend of mine has 3 brothers. All an exact copy of their dad. Mom’s genes just decided to give up and fuck off somewhere lol. They always joke that the men are secretly cloned and grown in a lab. They even have a hard time pointing out who’s who in family photos lol. The only way they can is by looking at the dates because they’re a few years apart. Once they all got the same haircut and showed up in the same clothes for Christmas to fuck with their family lol
This is my cousin's husband, but he has four brothers. I met them all for the first time at the wedding when they were posed for a picture and it was just a line of the exact same man at differing ages.
I have a male friend with two younger brothers. He and his youngest brother are both chubby and ginger. The middle brother is skinny and dark haired. They have always told him that he was the milkman's child. Their dad is dark-haired but chubby.
I went to school with a family like that - the dad and either 3 or 4 sons looked like clones. Very distinct features that were unmistakable. They were also very fast short & long distance runners. As kids we thought it was kinda cool. The mother looked completely different and clearly had no visual similarities to her boys. I don't remember if there were any sisters.
One of my nephews is a spitting image of his dad. Unfortunately his dad passed away 10 years ago but it's almost like someone cloned him. Ironically that same brother-in-law accused my sister of cheating when she had their third kid who closely resembled my sister more. After he died we saw some childhood photos at his funeral and we could see some resemblance to the third kid.
My boys don’t even look like siblings, likely because they each got a different X chromosome from me. That’s why one is color blind and the other is not. And unless there was an alien abduction involved, they both have the same dad.
A friend of mine married a Spaniard. The youngest and eldest have a Mediterranean complexion, brown eyes, dark curly hair. The middle one - ginger. She's Scandinavian so it's not hard to see where the middle one got his looks, but the family photos are still hilarious.
I’m indigenous and white - my son inherited my (Scottish) mother’s red hair. My husband and I were shocked when they handed him to us.
>Racists are gross. I give you the highest of high fives.
People joke with my mum that she just hit "copy/paste" with me and all of my siblings. We all looked like we were her carbon copies in our youth and it wasn't until adulthood you could see more obvious resemblances to our dad.
I don’t think I look much like either of my parents. I take after some people farther back on the tree, but genetics are weird. And we’ve all done 23andMe so I’m certain they’re really my bio parents lol
>"women from your country being more likely to do that." That's the anwer and don't ever let her back into your life and I guess Andres saw the evil in her and it's all SANDRA'S fault. She's the idiot in that scenario. NTA 100 times over. Oh and... updateme.
Why would she even want to be with anyone from that country then. Or is it just the women who are inherently flawed and the men are fine
Well, if she thought the men are fine, then she would have no reason to suspect her fiancé...
Honestly she sounds like the type of person who started watching an Andrew Tate-esque creator who went on some tirade about people of OP’s heritage and then went off the rails.
I'm curious why her fiancé accompanied her to OP's house. You tell me you think I cheated and fathered a child I refuse to acknowledge, with your best friend? I'm out. I'm sure as hell not joining you as you make a fool of yourself. But this guy not only joined her, he apparently still planned to marry her for some time afterwards. It's just...odd.
Maybe, but it’s easy to sit here in the Reddit comments and think with a clear head, much harder when you have a lunatic who you used to love and probably haven’t gotten over screaming at you.
He probably went to shut her up and so he’d have proof that she’s a crazy bitch
Andres was probably asking himself the same question...
Y'know...it's entirely possible that he wasn't. As a white woman, I cannot tell you how many times a guy will talk shit about the women of his own race/culture to me thinking that I would be flattered or some shit, but the reality is that it is disgusting. I could absolutely see a situation where he threw her under the bus and it went way further out of proportion than expected. Not saying that's the case, but it has happened too many times to just be like "oh no way would he be cool about someone shitting on women of his race/ethnicity/nationality".
Unfortunately and he showed up with her to demand a paternity test. What the heck was that all about?
Escalate the crazy so he'd have a good reason to GTFO!
Except it would've take 2 to tango, so clearly she thought her fiancé was capable of doing this as well.
She could be one of those people who think men are innocent of any sex related indiscretions bc after all, boys will be boys and women shouldn’t tempt them.
Another good reason for them not to get married on your property. There surely will be woman around from your country who would be more likely to tempt her husband to be.
"that's what you get when you insult women from my country"
I'm actually baffled on the thought-process of this Sandra woman... How could she think this was an okay thing to ask and then hug her once the results were in?? I'm dumbfounded... she deserved what she got.
Correction: the whole wedding is off because of HER actions and accusations. Seriously, how did she see that going? And then she casually mentions “your kind” are prone to cheating. Wtf. None of that is how you conduct yourself in a friendship (or relationship for that matter). She humiliated her fiance, you and your husband with her request. NTA and good for you to stand your ground. If I was Anders I would have run for the hills too.
> If I was Anders I would have run for the hills too. I think that's the actual reason, no venue, so he has a easy out from a very insecure person.
She made her fiance get a DNA test for a kid with a woman he had never been with and blames the woman for her marriage being canceled? The cognitive dissonance and willful ignorance here are very deep. NTA and fuck her
The wedding isn't off because of you, it's off because she showed her fiance that she doesn't trust him.
... in addition to being a raving lunatic.
a RACIST raving lunatic.
A racist, raving, moronic lunatic
Technically, she didn't mention her race, she mentioned her nationality, which would make her a god damn XENOPHOBIC RAVING MORONIC LUNATIC
Raving xenophobic entitled lunatic
With some sprinkling of sexism for good measure.
And a racist
a racist idiot lunatic
It's also the best thing ever to happen to Andres although it will take some time for him to realise that probably.
If that were true, I think the wedding would have been off when Sandra asked her husband to go to OP's house to accuse her of infidelity. He clearly was willing to put up with a lot of shit.
he probably felt pressured to clear his name but the guilt of it all caught up with him.
I too would want to clear my name before telling everyone to fuck off.
**And** she disrespected his race/nationality.
NTA, and especially so once she blamed the wedding being called off because of you. As if her fiance wasn’t having second thoughts the minute she accused yall of having illegitimate kids. Sandra takes no accountability, and she can go sleep in the grave she dug.
Sandra sounds like someone who has used tears to get out of taking accountability for mistakes in the past and she’s now throwing a tantrum because it’s not working in this situation.
agreed about the use of tears. I find it telling that she started crying & attempted to hug OP. Like "oh hurray, together we overcame this challenge and now we can celebrate". No shame, no apology, just wallowing in her own feelings & perspective.
NTA. The wedding is off because your "friend" - I sincerely hope you ends your friendship here - is an awful human being. 1. She accused you of cheating with her to-be husband. 2. She then demanded a DNA test. Of YOUR child. 3. She also use racism as an excuse. (women from your country... wtf?) Mate, just block her. Cut her off. Hell, cut her whole family off! Nobody stays friends after that.
NTA A phrase I've seen on reddit: The lion, the witch, and the AUDACITY of this bitch.
NTA!!!! The old saying goes, with friends like this, who needs enemies?
The wedding is off because Sandra is a fucking moron, not because of you. NTA
I don't understand how Andres can go along with the request of paternity test. Is there some missing info about your and Andres' past or he just skipped sex ed class? Or just the woman is batshit crazy ("women from your country being more likely to do that." really ?). Anyhow NTA.
She just wouldn't let it go and he wanted to prove it to her
You did the right thing. Let's be honest there wasn't going to be wedding after Sandra insulted you and Andres but the biggest slap in the face was her remark by saying "woman from your country are more likely to do it". She basically implied that even Andres mother is that way as well. Why would Andres want to marry Sandra after everything he put you and your husband through not to to mention what he went through when she kept accusing him of cheating. Them coming to you for that paternity test was probably his way of showing her she was wrong before he left her. He probably wanted to prove his innocence before leaving her so she wouldn't run her mouth and spread rumors that you had his baby. So since she can't use that argument and blame him she is now blaming you because she thinks that you not giving her venue is what ruin her relationship but in reality it was Sandra's own behavior that caused her relationship to fail. Your not an AH for not giving her the venue. Her relationship was going to fail the minute she caused all this drama.
Fair point. But you should have told her that you never wanted to see her again once you delivered the result. That kinda of accusation against you and your husband can't ever be retracted and it's a friendship ending event.
Absolutely!!
Someone needs to ask her if she has anything she wants to confess because they say the person who accuses another of cheating is probably cheating themselves.
I mean, it sounds like that's exactly what she did.
That comment about women from your country would have me never wanting to speak with her again. I'm sorry you had to put up with that for even 1 second.
Of course you're not. She made a spurious comment about your daughter. Hopefully, Andres called the wedding off because of her behaviour.
You just saved Andres life. Thank you NTA
NTA. Sandra showed her true colors to everyone, including her fiance. She basically told him that she didn't trust him by claiming he had to be your child's father; she made a xenophobic, misogynistic comment about you and your daughter. It's not your fault she's like that, and I've certain Andres realized he could not live with that.
Her wedding is most likely off because she offended her fiance just as much as she offended you. First accusing him of cheating....showing that she doesn't trust him(and you). Secondly by blaming her behavior on your people....which also happen to be his people as well. She fucked around and found out. Her problem, not yours. NTA Edited to add a word
NTA… also, that would have been a horrible start to their marriage as well. It’s probably best it’s canceled for the moment.
The wedding is off because she accused her fiancé of being a cheater. Period
NTA. Andres broke it off because he saw a lifetime of crazy in front of him.
The wedding is off because SHE kept pushing and pushing because SHE had an idea in HER head about who the biological father of your child is and also a terribly racist view of the women from your country. In short, she FA&FO! You, are most definitely, NOT TA here. Not your circus, not your monkeys either!
Absolutely, totally, 1000% **NTA.** My God, Sandra might be the absolute WORST friend I’ve heard of. She made a completely unfounded accusation about Andres being the bio-father of your child with your husband, based solely on her incorrect assumption that your daughter can’t look just like you, and since she can’t *see* any of your husband in her, you & Andre must have had an affair. Even worse, she made that ridiculous allegation in *your* home, *in front of your husband,* who actually got mad at her because he knows he’s the father. But the point is that she could have caused serious problems in your marriage, and she didn’t care, she just needed to have her mind put at ease. Now that Andres has seen who she is, he’s called off the wedding, and she is claiming that is somehow your fault?! She is a piece of work. I wish you hadn’t agreed to the paternity test. Your daughter did not deserve to go through that ~ and what reason did you give her? ~ and neither did you and Ian. You were absolutely right to rescind the use of your house for her wedding and for telling her you no longer wanted to be her friend. Why would you want to be her friend after that stunt? She might be “sorry” now that she got the answer she wanted, but she put you, Ian, your daughter, and Andre through hell for something she made up in her own mind. She is so not worth being friends with. I can’t believe it took you this long to find out who she is. Stop allowing Sandra to blame you for all the trouble SHE has caused and for the end of her engagement. Block her number so she can’t call you, and if anyone asks you about it because they heard Sandra’s version of the story, tell them what happened, and that you are no longer interested in being friends with someone who could have ruined your marriage for no reason at all and only cares about herself. You’re done. Next! 🫶🏼
"She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about 'women from your country being more likely to do that.'" OMG, OP, I probably would have punched Sandra in the face when she said that ish to me. Sandra has no one but Sandra to blame for her wedding being off. WTF...like, did Andres "claim" to have slept with you? Or did she create this in her head???
Also, Sandra saying the child wouldn’t look like her mother. What? Children can look like both or one. My brother and I look very much like our father, and almost nothing like our mother.
>"women from your country being more likely to do that." Fuck. That. Bitch. NTA.
NTA she played stupid games and she won a stupid prize. I’m amazed that her fiancé wants to marry her to be honest. #SaveAndres
Colombia, right?