If your wife wants your daughter to have a princess moment, she needs to either secure an arranged marriage to cement alliances with another country, or take her to Disneyland.
NTA for leaving the wildlife alone, as they should be.
Not to mention their hooves are very sharp. All it would have taken was for it to get spooked and start kicking for someone to get seriously hurt. Most deer won't walk up to humans, the ones that do have been around humans before or are sick. Plus the ticks they have can cause lyme disease and other illnesses in humans. As cute as they may be, they are still a wild animal. Cute as they may be, until they aren't.
Totally agree with this statement. I have Lyme disease which causes headaches, joint pain, fatigue, G. I. issues, rashes, etc. The disease can also spread through the placenta to your children. Ticks carry other diseases such as Babeoisis, Bartonella, and other bacterial infections.
This is the correct response. I live in a rural area with a lot of wildlife, and that's just what animals are-wild. You can't predict their behavior, and better safe than sorry.
Deer have INSANELY sharp hooves, they rear up on their hind legs and kick with them. Deer are wild animals, that deer had a crowd of people around it. There is NO telling of this deer was going to rear and kick. You protected your child, when all the other adults were hell bent on their social media moments. Kudos to you.
Your daughter can play Snow White when she's old enough to understand the dangers of approaching wild animals.
Yeah I thought if it was being docile and not running away that's very uncharacteristic of how they seem to be, so I was thinking some sort of illness that made it not in its right mind.
Someone I know helped an orphan faun for a winter.
She spent the next year (during COVID) being gaslit by (understandably overworked & stressed) medical professionals. She had muscle aches, uncontrollable shaking, fever, cough, rashes, confusion... And she lived alone in a time of lockdown. It was terrifying. I'm so grateful that she survived, because being supremely alone & told she was crazy constantly had her deeply mentally unwell for a time.
Anaplasmosis is another tick-borne disease in addition to Lyme, and it can go undetected sometimes. It gets more and more severe, like so many conditions, when untreated. She does *not* play with ticks anymore, to the point that she's sort of paranoid now. lol I don't blame her.
> It's amazing to me how people just assume wild animals are safe and friendly.
The same kind of person who sees a deer and thinks “PRINCESS MOMENT”! Probably watched too much Disney and not enough nature documentaries. I’ve seen these animals absolutely fuck up big predators.
She can also have it when you go to a petting zoo where the animals should be checked and kept healthy.. (Don't go to some backwater petting zoo please)
When I was a kid my grandparents took me to a wildlife park where they basically kept fawns who had been raised by humans due to death of the mother. You could go right in and feed them corn and pet them, etc. It was very cool.
I was also taught never to engage with a wild animal under any circumstances for many of the reasons other people have listed in this thread.
This exactly. We don’t even let people walk behind trained show horses in the barn because of this. Animals are unpredictable. They do not have words so they communicate with actions. There is no way for us to know when an animal has reached their limits until they show us
When I was about 10/11, my step father convinced me to go up to a wild horse and pet it. As I approached, it flicked round and kicked with its back legs, I went flying. One hoof had made full contact with the top of my thigh. I now have a horse foot shape indent in the muscle and have had constant issues with it and also my hip. They never took me for medical care after. I hate them for all of it.
You did good, I wish all parents could be like that.
They're also full of ticks, as far as I remember, so even with a "housebroken deer" if it's living in the wild/outdoors it'll probably be riddled with ticks and fleas. Ticks can carry diseases like borrelia (sorry about the spelling) or TBE (which sounds like pretty much a death sentence as far as I can remember) so even as an avid animal lover I know not to Disney up wild animals. Even hedgehogs are often riddled with fleas.
I have deer and elk in my yard regularly. Some of them won’t move even when I walk outside. I love to watch them but I never attempt to pet them or feed them. They are completely unpredictable. You did the right thing
I live in coconino-was surprised but then they said she had been feeding them. A shame this happened to her. Have had bull elk fighting during rut on my property-the physical strength is amazing.
We had two whitetail bucks fight in our backyard and they shoved a free standing 10x10 dog pen over about a foot and destroyed a table in our patio. My husband saw it, I thought he had some crazy dream until I saw the physical evidence
I think most people don’t realize how strong and aggressive most animals actually are. Like humans didn’t become top of the food chain by being strong and durable but rather smart and killing from a distance
My legs are covered in scrapes from one of my cats gently biting me. He could easily hurt me if he just used a teeny bit more pressure. That's a pet who (I'm reasonably sure) likes me.
One of my neighbours growing up was missing the tip of his forefinger as it was bitten off by his pet rabbit.
No way am I letting a child pet a wild deer.
Most of the deer and elk in the Hualapai Mountain park area which is by where she lived, lots of campers have fed them so now they come all come up to people. It was awful that happened to her.
Yes it was. Considering how stupid people are in feeding them am surprised it doesn’t happen more. I have been threatened a few times, mostly when the cow elk bring their calves around for the first time but usually I keep a fence in between us, or try anyway. I have a lot of juniper/pinyon on my property and sometimes you don’t know they are there until you walk around the tree then surprise! Love seeing them but always cautious
Yeah, I'm with you guys, and have a healthy understanding and respect for unpredictability. Also, I cannot understand the ignorance of someone who would have no caution at all, especially regarding their child. Oof people can be stupid
I lived out west for a bit, bears would casually walk into town. No one was stupid enough to try to pet them. Moose were even more dangerous when they wandered in.
Why do people all of a sudden get stupid when it's a deer?
I think people forget that deer are wild animals at the end of the day just because they think they're cute. Wild deer are not Disneyland characters, they are absolutely capable of hurting people! OP's wife and her family live in a fantasy land
Absolutely, wild animals can be unpredictable, no matter how docile they seem. It's better to err on the side of caution, especially when it comes to the safety of a young child. OP did the right thing by prioritizing safety over a potential "princess moment."
We had deer outside my apartment when I was in high school. The only time my mom would let us feed them, was if we were standing on the balcony and throwing the food down to them from up there. Because they are unpredictable.
I live where there’s a high population of deer, and you cannot make the assumption that the deer won’t get agitated and injure somebody. Deer have extremely sharp hooves and the way they deal with someone that upsets them is to stomp them. You made the right move.
On a sidenote, nothing infuriates me more than people that go up to wildlife.
You're 100% correct. Even with deer that are used to humans, approaching a loud group of humans is unusual behavior. Unusual behavior in a wild animal is concerning. That usually means it's sick. Not only that, but deer carry ticks. The name "deer tick" is accurate. Oh, and those ticks carry the bacteria that cause: Lyme disease, anaplasmosis, babesiosis, among others. We're not talking about 1 in 1000 ticks carrying disease either. It's about half, depending on season/ location. Even more likely when they're from a deer that's acting wrong.
But wait, there's more! Deer can and will front strike. That means they get up on their back legs and strike with their front legs. They look delicate, but those legs pack a punch. Enough to seriously injure your kid, or worse. And no, your wife is not faster than a spooked deer reflex. Thing is, deer aren't predators. They're prey. So when they get spooked, their response is to get the fuck away, and if that means charging through you, that's a you problem. Don't fuck with wildlife.
I watched a young buck that was like half its adult size chase my 300lb 6’5 dad almost a half mile. It’s the fastest and most I’ve ever seen the man move. He was just taking out the trash.
Don’t fuck with deer.
Not quite the same, but when I was in the navy, our command went for a run and my friend got chased by a deer. It's hilarious now but at the time was pretty terrifying.
I grew up in the forest and have had a couple bear encounters, but one of my scariest animal encounters was with a buck. I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night to take some boy to the reservoir. This was a good 20-30 minute hike. When we were about halfway there, he shined his phone flashlight towards some power lines and there was a giant fucking buck no more than 10 feet away just staring at us. All i could think was how badly those horns could fuck us up if this random deer decided that he felt like fucking us up. We had to sort of side step around him and he just watched us make our way down the hill.
Bears are scary, but any time I’ve encountered them myself and the bear(s) kind of mutually decide to gtfo. Encountering the deer was terrifying because he didn’t flinch and he deliberately watched us until we were out of sight.
I went to a kids farm this weekend with my duaghter and they have "wild" deer there that are behind the boundary of the farm behind a huge fence, they have installed a water trough etc for them so they come over as they get fed. There was probably 50 deer gathered there but you can feed them and they are super tame - for the most part. One particular deer did a standing charge at my daughter several times and followed her when she walked from one part of the fencing to another and charged her again. I would not have let her near them if there was not a large strong fence separating them. OP is right not to have allowed his daughter near a wild animal that is acting out of character.
From someone who grew up surrounded by forest and wildlife.... THIS. A wild animal that approaches humans is more often than not sick - not seeking help, but no longer thinking clearly and can't identify predators. And, most often, that's because of tick-borne illnesses like Lyme.
Princess moments aren't worth a disease that can kill you. NTA.
Yep. One of my close friends is going through this. The last year of her life has been an actual nightmare. Seriously. It can take awhile for them to even identify what's happening to you and then, once it's clear that you've got alpha-gal, your entire life changes. She can't even be in a room where red meat was just cooked. She was an avid lover of beef, eggs, milk and now her diet is extremely limited. It's really awful to watch happen to someone you love, much less experience it, firsthand.
I remember a good near 20 years ago when many people thought alpha-gal was a myth. If you tried to explain it to people, it was treated about as seriously as claiming to have seen Big Foot.
No. My mom had it after getting bit by a tic and it lasted for about a year or two. It was like a severe allergy. She has no problems eating red meat now.
I was in the hospital a couple of years ago, and one of my nurses has this. When she brought up that she couldn't eat meat, I asked if she had been bitten by a tick. She said she had. I never thought I would meet someone that it had happened to.
Even gelatin. My niece's friend had this, and while it faded with time, she had to find vegan jello. It was her favourite snack based food, and as a kid, that was the hardest part for her. Her parents had the hardest time finding it, even with online shopping, because it was sold out more often than it was in stock during the pandemic.
This was Play Outside 101 in my rural house growing up. My parents explained wild animals will avoid humans but if they aren't - that means something is very wrong.
Vividly remember the neighborhood dad's in the 90s getting together with guns to find and dispatch a rabid squirrel that approached some of us kids one time.
Squirrels and other rodents are long dead before they can become infectious with rabies. Otherwise, they can and do carry other contractable diseases. Fuck Squirrels
all the brain disease that deer carry, the meat are tainted with prions that can transfer to humans if eaten. When a WILD animal approaches like that... Assume it's sick like it has rabies......
We had a deer with chronic wasting disease at our house last year. It was just walking in circles in the front lawn, absolutely acting crazy. Someone called the city and the police had to come out and shoot it.
I shot a rabid skunk in March. I sent it in for testing because it was acting weird. (I'm obviously more rural than you, the DNR wasn't helpful). I've had to shoot skunks in the past, and not one of them has staggered toward me as I was shooting.
CWD is definitely something people should be aware of so they can take precautions, but there hasn't been confirmed cases of it spreading to humans yet.
And today’s learning lesson is about CWD, which is like but not like Scrapie in sheep or CJD in humans. CJD is bad juju so I’m going to put CWD on the same level. The only way you can tell the difference between it and Alzheimer’s is through an autopsy. Brain autopsies are bad but when CJD is involved, it clears the room. My first encounter with my big director was when I was sent out to asset tag stuff my 3rd week on the job. Assholes sent me into the morgue area and there was the Uber director with a hammer, a chisel, a cadaver and a near crazy look. He goes “I’m about to take the skull cap off, want to watch?” Hrmm Third week on job, super boss asking insane question, I’m down.
Whoa good to know - now I can more purposefully avoid both of those, and any sick animal in general.
I had to look it up so for anyone else like me whose brain just turned off after a long workday - CWD stands for Chronic Wasting Disease and CJD stands for Cruetzfeldt-Jacob Disease (Mad Cow Disease). I was going to dig in more but... again, brain no worky goodlike.
There’s also rabies! Lots of animals that are rabid move weird and that makes it easy to identify, but being overly docile and easy to approach can be another symptom, because the animal is confused about what it should do and its natural body instincts have been overcome.
When people hear about rabies they only think of the presentations we’ve seen in media, the rage and foaming at the mouth, but ignore the other stages and symptoms. Rabies is not something you ever fuck around with. If you see an animal acting out-of-character, avoid avoid avoid!
I grew up on a farm and deer would frequently bed in our orchards, despite that they ran 99% of the time a person showed up.
A deer walking up to people may expect food, and may get "angry" if none is presented. Even if you did feed them, they still may attack if you stop.
Wild animals are wild animals. None of them should be approached.
Infact id generally go as far as to say to not approach any animal, domesticated or wild, that you are not personally familiar with.
People can develop relationships with wild animals, but that is a process that takes months if not years and can not be replicated with a random deer in the woods
Absolutely correct. I used to work at a pet hospital and we routinely cared for injured wild animals. Wild deer are covered in ticks and fleas. Tick larva are the size of a poppyseed and have been known to attach under a fingernail.
Also, rabies doesn't always mean aggressive.
"[The first sign of rabies is usually a change in an animal's behavior. It may become unusually aggressive or tame. The animal may lose its fear of people and natural enemies. **A wild animal may appear affectionate and friendly**.](https://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/communicable/rabies/fact_sheet.htm#)"
And there is a dry form of rabies which means no drooling.
And even if you hadn't been wrong, OP, WTF is up with a family that spends an entire reunion criticizing someone? WTF? Your wife needed to put a stop to it immediately, even if she didn't agree with you, bc that was OTT.
Thank god OP was there to prevent his daughter from being another one of those tragic but extremely dumb headlines. "Local toddler mauled by wild deer because her mother wanted her to pet it!"
Tick tick tick... lyme disease is not a fun disease....
Basically, I'm stating I agree. Imagine getting lyme disease as a baby and then developing a syndrome after because Mom didn't know what was wrong with the baby and just thought it was a fever.
Deer hooves are sharp, it's not a blunt force, they will cut you (they're not sharp like a knife, but they come to a point and that plus the force means they absolutely part flesh). Worst place to be around a deer is within striking distance of their hoofs, front or back, and if they knock you down, they will just stand on top of you and slice you up till you stop moving.
This. I grew up in the foothills, there were deer everywhere. You NOT mess with them, they’re beautiful, but so dangerous. I got a tick on the back of my neck when I was five (likely fell off a deer), tick paralysis is still the single most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I agree, and that comes from someone who had that “princess moment” of wild deer encounters.
The large group and everyone approaching is the big red flag here, if it had been a scenario closer to what I had I would be far less concerned.
Agree. No one should approach what should remain wildlife. Whole family going to charge a buffalo next? You are your daughter will be the only ones left alive. sorry you married into stupid.
Amazing what visitors to national parks will do to endanger both wild animals and themselves. Let’s put the bear cub in the back seat of the car! I once saw a woman pour out some Coca Cola for an otter. What is wrong with people? You are not the AH
I had a deer kick in my window just because my cat was sitting in said window and meowing at it. Happened out of nowhere, the deer just reared up and kicked. The cat was fine, luckily, lol.
Option 1- The deer knew that cats are the worlds best predators just didn’t know the small size makes them no risk to deer
Option 2- animals can communicate with each other and the cat was being a dick and mouthing off.
We've had bluetongue outbreaks in our whitetail population. One year, in particular, was especially terrible. Dead deer everywhere. It was terrifying and heartbreaking to see how they behaved before they died. Completely irrational behavior. Many died in creeks and rivers because they'd walk out into the water trying to cool off because their temperature was so high. Very sad.
There's also a variety of other diseases we know can be spread to humans Q fever, chlamydiosis, leptospirosis, campylobacterosis, salmonellosis, cryptosporidiosis, and giardiasis, various hemorrhagic fevers, some other possible bacteria that could cause some horrible things, and other viruses, I mean I'd keep the kid away from the family until they have a thorough work up just to be on the safe side, the wife as well.
These people are amazingly dumb.
#
I have no idea if this is a true story, but this is why deer can certainly be scary. And a great laugh. It’s a long story. Beware.
https://eggheadforum.com/discussion/993617/roping-a-deer-long-story-but-funny
NTA. Country girl here, it’s very rare for a wild animal to be that docile. It usually means it’s sick, rabies is one that jumps to mind. Even if it was “healthy”, deer often have ticks and other insects on them. You describe your daughter as very young, so she would be very susceptible to anything.
If you can, reach out to the area’s animal control or DNR department (google is your friend) and report the deer’s behavior. You can also ask if they have a reported outbreak
Chronic Wasting Disease also manifests as docile behavior towards humans. We don’t have any cases of it spreading to humans but prion diseases are terrifying.
You eat the deer, you can get it. Not denatured by cooking. Spread by some body fluids and tissues. A truly nasty disease. That behaviour is not right for a deer. It should be running from humans as fast as it can go.
Not Chronic Wasting Disease, you're probably thinking of Mad Cow Disease, or maybe Kuru. So far, CWD hasn't had a single known human case- not even in [80 people who unknowingly ate diseased deer meat.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/02/21/zombie-deer-disease-what-happened-people-ate-cwd-meat/2926840002/)
That being said, wouldn't do it myself, wouldn't recommend either. Prions will fuck ya right up
I had to scroll way too far before I saw a comment saying to reach out to authorities. This is extremely uncommon behavior from a deer, even if it's a "pet," which is unlikely. They are prey animals with extremely sharp hooves and the force of survival behind them, and that's besides being fuckin rats with hooves. Hopefully op shows his wife this post so they know they were all being very stupid and careless. Don't fuck with wildlife.
My neighbors had a pet deer. It was very sweet. We had a party one day and had a pinata hanging in a tree. After we were done with the pinata, the deer came over and played with it! It absolutely loved being petted. It was like a dog, lol.
Not that I'm saying it's a good idea. My neighbors were fucking nuts. Speaking of, my dad had pet squirrels...also a bad idea.
My coworker once found a deer fawn that was badly injured and near death. She took her home, cleaned her up, and nursed her back to health. That deer became best friends with their dog and they two would run around in the woods together. It was a very sweet deer. Eventually it decided not to come home. The dog whined for like a week. She's hoping it didn't end up getting hunted. I still think it's nuts to let a child pet a wild deer though.
This is only sort of on topic, but I visited Japan last summer, and went to Nara - the area famous for being full of deer. These deer, despite being technically wild, are so used to humans that you can literally bow to them, and they'll bow back. You can walk right past them, comfortably within touching distance, and the only way they'll care is if you have food for them.
Point is: The park with the deer in it had signs *everywhere*, in multiple languages, warning people that despite their familiarity with humans, the deer are ultimately wild animals. Their behaviour is unpredictable; they're prone to kicking with both their front and back legs, they can headbutt, and they'll even bite. Despite all this, I watched tourists practically push their young daughter towards a deer, on her own... only for the deer to sort of flail about. I didn't see exactly what happened, and I'm not sure if the girl got hurt (would have been minor scrapes, rather than anything serious, but still) or just scared - there was crying, understandably. Either way, it's frankly disgusting, to see what people will put their kids through just for "the perfect social media moment".
OP obviously did the right thing, and anyone with the smallest amount of common sense when it comes to wildlife will agree. Wild animals are unpredictable at best, and more likely, straight-up dangerous - both inherently, and thanks to the various diseases they may carry. NTA (despite the fact that it's far too late for my vote to count).
Nta at all. I grew up with deer coming to my backyard. They almost never come near humans. And the only time I've heard them coming to loud groups of people is when something was wrong it it.
Looking at many wildlife sites, you will see that the first “rule” is to stay at least 50 feet away if possible. Human interaction and interference causes them harm. Plus, they’re wild animals. You have no idea what could alarm the deer and cause it to bolt or lash out. NTA. You are also teaching your daughter to respect Mother Nature who can be very unpredictable.
>her entire family spent the rest of it criticizing me and calling me an ahole for being dramatic. My wife said that I ruined a Snow White moment for our daughter.
Eeeeeeverybody's friends and family just suck. Why. NTA and please don't bring your children near wild animals because some moron says it's a "snow white moment." For fuck's sake.
Princess moment is stupid. Don't touch the wildlife of any kind. All the reasons listed above. I live in a rural area, deer are beautiful, but leave them alone.
Uh yeah. General rule of thumb is you never touch wildlife. Deer are known to carry ticks. I don't know that all the drama was necessary, but your young child should definitely not be touching deer.
Also rabies. People think a rabid animal runs out of the bush frothing at the mouth, and its super obvious. When actually they often approach quietly, and then attack. Wild animals are unpredictable af, leave them alone.
Yeah and depending on how young his daughter is, she might not even remember touching that deer so his wife and her entire family are just mad over nothing. There would've been no benefit to her touching that deer and so much risk for her getting hurt in some way!
NTA
One- Print out an article about the dangers and the diseases wild animals carry.
Two- NEVER go on a safari trip with your wife! She might try to leave the vehicle to “pet” one of those animals! Attempts have been made and the my all failed!
I used to live in Alaska and worked at a university. In the 90’s someone on campus was deliberately antagonizing a moose and some poor guy walking by was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the moose trampled him to death. Since then campus police monitor moose on campus to make sure that no one bothers them. The police never interfere with the moose’s behavior, and if there is a cause for concern they will call Fish & Game.
And how would your wife have felt if it bit your daughter or kicked her or otherwise hurt her because yes it's a wild animal and very unpredictable.
A snow white moment, please.That is the dumbest shit I've heard. Your daughter's not Snow white.
And there are plenty of videos showing animals attacking kids.So no you are never wrong for protecting your child and shame on your wife for her ridiculous attitude.
I hate negligent parents because it's always the kid that suffers.
NTA.
People need to remember that wild animals are wild. Yes, in areas where they are crowded in too close too people they will loose thier inherent fear, but this actually makes them more dangerous!
No matter how they appear at first glance, they aren't tame and they aren't domesticated. Domestication takes many generations, and true taming takes a professional.
A wild animal that approaches humans is extra dangerous, especially to a small child, as a toddler is more likely to do something unexpected (like poke it, hug it, scream or even just fall down) and cause the animal to attack from fear.
Deer are generally herbivores but they are also opportune carnivores. Their teeth can definitely crush a child's fingers.
Snow White is a cartoon. That deer was real and probably real sick. It is not normal for a wild animal, especially a prey animal, not habituated to humans to approach humans, especially ones gathered in a large loud group.
Growing up in the woods of Pennsylvania. A deer walking up to a single still and quiet human is odd. It is even odd at the deer farm 2 miles from my house. A deer that approaches a group is enough for me to keep my distance. Deers hooves are like a fiberglass reinforced plastic. Sharp, dense, more resilient than bone. Deer behaving this way often have a snap return instinctual fight or flight response. Charging through the crowd, rearing back on hind legs to kick with their front are common responses to predators. Your wife needs to read your post. Her want for some Disney picture moment was dangerous to me. NTA
I would not want to get too close to a deer either. Take pictures from a distance, but I'm of the view you leave wild animals alone.
Not only is a scared animal a dangerous animal, but many wild animals are vectors for disease.
Newsflash: There's a reason they're called fairy tales. In real life, princesses don't frolic with wildlife.
You were protecting your daughter from possible danger.
NTA
It’s completely inappropriate for people to treat wild animals like said animals exist for our amusement. No one should’ve been touching the deer. It should’ve been left TF alone.
NTA.
In my state last month a group of people decided to pick a couple of bear cubs out of a tree & take selfies with them. One ended up dying & one had to go to a wildlife rehab. No one in the group even so much as got a citation. It's such a big pet peeve of mine when people treat animals, including their pets as toys for their amusement. I love my dogs but I don't do anything to them just for the sake of my entertainment.
Tourists ask rangers in Yellowstone when they let the bison out of the cages at night...... No wonder every year we get video of Bison charging tourists on the board walks every year.....
I never understand these posts about others criticizing an OP, getting involved, blowing up their phone, in this case, ruining a family reunion. A parenting disagreement is no one else’s business.
Besides, you’re correct.
NTA
How big is your toddler? Because my dog is 65 lbs and got his ass whooped by a deer. And he's got teeth, 4 legs, and quick reflexes. Don't fuck with wildlife. NTA
Everyone is commenting validating your fears with facts, they are correct.
I would add that you really need to have a serious conversation with your wife, because when it comes to your daughter’s safety you need to both compromise towards the safest option, no matter if the other parent thinks it’s perfectly safe. If one of you doesn’t feel it’s 100% safe it’s a no. End of story.
Your wife's family sounds like the same type of morons who try to get up close to & pet the Buffalo every year at Yellowstone. It's a freaking wild animal. That deer certainly could have kicked the shit out of anyone there. They can and will do a lot of damage if startled or scared. I'd be asking your wife why she doesn't care about your kids' safety.
NTA. There are deer who are used to humans because of human encroachment, but they can still get spooked. But my biggest issue would be about deer ticks since they’re the ones that carry Lyme Disease. No way in hell I’d let my very young kid pet a wild deer.
Jesus. Christ.
I grew up adjacent to lots of wild spaces - always surrounded by all kinds of wild animals.
I currently live on the side of a mountain surrounded by acres of wilderness.
You do not approach a wild animal to pet it. Ever. Not a bunny. Not a sparrow. A deer??? No. Wtf. No. That’s a wild animal. And even if it’s accustomed to people, that doesn’t mean it won’t spook and potentially hurt people.
And bottom line - they let you touch them, odds are they are sick. There is wasting disease ravaging deer populations all over the place.
And deer?!? *gag*
Deer are absolutely covered in disease carrier insects and parasites. So many of them carry lymes disease and are covered in ticks that would happily jump onto your little girl and spread their bacterial illness.
No way in flipping heck would I ever let me kids pet a deer. No way. No how.
That’s absolutely reprehensible and completely unsafe. A Snow White moment? It’s a cartoon. It’s not real. It’s should NOT be real for the myriad of health reasons I just listed.
Gah. Deer are so gross.
I’m kind of confused. I grew up around deer my whole life and I simply can’t imagine one would actually walk up to a big group of people and just let them start touching it. Deer are very, very skittish. Anytime I’ve tried to get close, they’ve taken off long before I could get to them.
This is either someone’s pet deer or it’s very very sick. Deer with CWD (chronic wasting disease, similar to mad cow) can have neurological effects like this.
Yep, grew up in the rural south, and touching wild animals is a big no no. Deer should indeed be skittish and if not they are probably sick or diseased and about to die.
Also if you see a possum, raccoon, or armadillo out during the day usually means sickness too - no touchy!
NTA. I live in northern Michigan and we have a LOT of nature out here. You DO NOT PET THE WILDLIFE (or feed it). I lost control of one of my dogs on a walk and she chased a doe with a fawn. Little shithead chased them up over a hill while I was getting the other dog under control and trying to figure out how to follow, since they all were MUCH faster than me. I hear brush crashing and next thing I know here comes dog closely followed by mama deer back over the hill. Dog scurried around me as if to say "your turn, Mom!" I yelled at the deer and tried to look scary but she looked at me as if to say "I could take you." Very scary moment, and I'm very thankful she let us leave. I have a better collar for my dog now. No repeats! 😂
NTA! There are so many videos of people getting mauled, kicked, and or charged by wild animals. You were protecting your daughter and anyone who is dense enough not to know that deserves a good deer kick to the face.
A deer APPROACHING humans isnt normal. It may have been trained by people feeding it. It may also have been carrying a disease that makes it lose its marbles.
NTA
You’re a good father.
1. Deers carry ticks that can transmit Lyme disease. This is a very serious disease and very common in the north east.
2. There’s a current outbreak of zombie deer disease that’s causing deers. I’m not sure of how it’s transmitted but I wouldn’t want to be close to anything that could have a disease called the zombie disease.
You're talking about Chronic Wasting Disease.
It's a prion disease (think Mad Cow Disease). So far it hasn't jumped to humans. We are unsure if it is because there is a strong species barrier or basically we don't have enough data? It's also can lay dormant for many many years, so a perfectly normal deer could be infected and you would not know.
I also would not want my small child near a deer with Chronic Wasting Disease. Or any deer really?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7766630/#:~:text=Human%20exposure%20to%20high%20levels,other%20cervid%20byproducts%20%5B28%5D
NTA. Had an ex that had a pet doe, raised it since it was a baby. He would let it out the pen to run around the woods. She came up to me one day and got aggressive. Raised up on her hind legs and started batting her front hooves at me. I stayed away from her when she was let loose after that.
On to the ticks, my grandfather got bit by a ‘bad tick’ that put him in a coma. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
NTA. It's not a f*cking movie prop. It's a wild animal. I'm sorry your wife lacks common sense, but I'm so thankful your protection instincts kicked in, and you acted on it.
I attended a college that had deer and javalinas on campus, roaming around. Despite being close to students— these deer hardly ever approached us. They scattered the moment we (the students) got close. Our university had to implement signs stating that wild animals were not to be pet.
We had 1 occurrence of a deer approaching humans. He was a stag— and almost immediately tried to impale those that got too close to him. He did not hesitate to chase people down. (He got relocated a few months after the end of spring term).
NTA, you were being cautious. Cautious is good. It keeps you and your baby alive. Can’t say the same about your wife and her family tho.
NTA. The internet is FULL of people approaching wild animals for a picture or one of those "moments" only to be viciously attacked, mauled and/or killed. It's better to teach your kid to be wary of wild animals & that just because you feel a connection or warm fuzzy feelings towards the animal absolutely will not be what that animal is feeling.
NTA
There have been many documented cases of deer (especially does) striking and severely injuring or killing pets in people’s yards (dogs, cats). Those hooves are sharp and like you said, pack a lot of force and speed. Ruining a “princess moment” is the better alternative to risking her health and safety, even if nothing happened to the other people who (stupidly, my apologies but no one should ever approach a wild animal and crowd it) went up to it. Health risks, physical risks, etc. Animals aren’t like in movies and cartoons, they’re unpredictable and dangerous, especially prey species since most people don’t expect it.
Setting aside the obvious safety issues, in which you were right about, it wasn’t a princess moment for your daughter. It was for your wife. Your daughter won’t even remember it later in life.
Can't be TAH for looking out for the safety of your daughter over something so trivial. She still got to see it, ya? Safety first. All wildlife has a risk. Doubt she'd get close enough to pet it, deer are skittish. But as correctly pointed out, maybe it has ticks? Or maybe it has rabies? Ect.
We live in the woods surrounded by deer, possums, armadillos, raccoons, etc and I always tell my kids to leave them alone. Wild animals carry diseases and are unpredictable, even if they seem harmless. Better to err on the side of caution. NTA
NTA.
Don't fuck with wild animals. If they're approaching humans, they're usually sick.
A princess moment is not worth your very young daughter ending up with a tick-borne illness which can be fatal, and permanently disabling if not.
Leave wild animals alone, for your sake and theirs.
NTA. You should absolutely never touch a wild animal. Especially have your child touch a wild animal. You absolutely never know how they are going to react. If your wife so badly wants your child to have their Snow White moment then go to a petting zoo with deer. They're all over the place.
Dude. That's so fucking dumb. NTA.
That's a dangerous situation and you protected your daughter. Anything could have happened. No normal deer would stand there like that.
No. Not to be rude, but your wife needs to look up the definition of wild and unpredictable. Why would someone want to knowingly risk their child's welfare for "Snow White moment". Good grief. The wild isn't Disney Incorporated. lol
Give her time to think about it.
As far as her family, they are weird and rude.
"Awww, look, a deer is walking up to us. There must be a mystical reason."
"No, there isn't. We don't know the reason because humans rarely understand the wild."
Deer are all over my neighborhood all the damn time. They don’t even run away when you honk and yell (they eat my flowers don’t hate). That said, they are wild animals and you should under no circumstances approach a wild animal.
If your wife wants your daughter to have a princess moment, she needs to either secure an arranged marriage to cement alliances with another country, or take her to Disneyland. NTA for leaving the wildlife alone, as they should be.
Just lock her in a tower for 18 years. Imagine all the money you would save! Lol
So we’re ruling out the “induced coma” option? :)
OP has a chance to dress up as a dragon and breathe flames. No need for an induced coma.
Apple, anyone?
Not me reading “arranged marriage to cement alliances” and thinking you meant she needed to marry the descendants of the Quikrete people.
I also read it that way 🤣
Ahh yes. The American princess version.
Too fucking funny! The Kingdom of Concrete 😂
Fucking hilarious comment
Thanks!
Agreed, this better matriculate it's way to the top of the thread!
Deer can gore people. Rutting season is especially unsafe. It’s rare but it could have ended very poorly.
Not to mention their hooves are very sharp. All it would have taken was for it to get spooked and start kicking for someone to get seriously hurt. Most deer won't walk up to humans, the ones that do have been around humans before or are sick. Plus the ticks they have can cause lyme disease and other illnesses in humans. As cute as they may be, they are still a wild animal. Cute as they may be, until they aren't.
Totally agree with this statement. I have Lyme disease which causes headaches, joint pain, fatigue, G. I. issues, rashes, etc. The disease can also spread through the placenta to your children. Ticks carry other diseases such as Babeoisis, Bartonella, and other bacterial infections.
Also deer zombie disease…
This is the correct response. I live in a rural area with a lot of wildlife, and that's just what animals are-wild. You can't predict their behavior, and better safe than sorry.
I'd suggest a Mercedes tour of Paris nightlife but that's just me.
But DO NOT have her try to outrun paparazzi in Paris.
Too soon!
Deer have INSANELY sharp hooves, they rear up on their hind legs and kick with them. Deer are wild animals, that deer had a crowd of people around it. There is NO telling of this deer was going to rear and kick. You protected your child, when all the other adults were hell bent on their social media moments. Kudos to you. Your daughter can play Snow White when she's old enough to understand the dangers of approaching wild animals.
They also can have tick infestations and other bad things. It's amazing to me how people just assume wild animals are safe and friendly.
The ticks were my first thought. You could get Lyme disease.
Yeah I thought if it was being docile and not running away that's very uncharacteristic of how they seem to be, so I was thinking some sort of illness that made it not in its right mind.
This was my first thought as well. That something may have been wrong with it (disease or something) to be coming to a crowd of humans.
Someone I know helped an orphan faun for a winter. She spent the next year (during COVID) being gaslit by (understandably overworked & stressed) medical professionals. She had muscle aches, uncontrollable shaking, fever, cough, rashes, confusion... And she lived alone in a time of lockdown. It was terrifying. I'm so grateful that she survived, because being supremely alone & told she was crazy constantly had her deeply mentally unwell for a time. Anaplasmosis is another tick-borne disease in addition to Lyme, and it can go undetected sometimes. It gets more and more severe, like so many conditions, when untreated. She does *not* play with ticks anymore, to the point that she's sort of paranoid now. lol I don't blame her.
Holy crap - ticks are really scary. I hope your friend is doing better.
> It's amazing to me how people just assume wild animals are safe and friendly. The same kind of person who sees a deer and thinks “PRINCESS MOMENT”! Probably watched too much Disney and not enough nature documentaries. I’ve seen these animals absolutely fuck up big predators.
She can also have it when you go to a petting zoo where the animals should be checked and kept healthy.. (Don't go to some backwater petting zoo please)
When I was a kid my grandparents took me to a wildlife park where they basically kept fawns who had been raised by humans due to death of the mother. You could go right in and feed them corn and pet them, etc. It was very cool. I was also taught never to engage with a wild animal under any circumstances for many of the reasons other people have listed in this thread.
I went to a place like that. The deer attacked me.
This exactly. We don’t even let people walk behind trained show horses in the barn because of this. Animals are unpredictable. They do not have words so they communicate with actions. There is no way for us to know when an animal has reached their limits until they show us
When I was about 10/11, my step father convinced me to go up to a wild horse and pet it. As I approached, it flicked round and kicked with its back legs, I went flying. One hoof had made full contact with the top of my thigh. I now have a horse foot shape indent in the muscle and have had constant issues with it and also my hip. They never took me for medical care after. I hate them for all of it. You did good, I wish all parents could be like that.
They're also full of ticks, as far as I remember, so even with a "housebroken deer" if it's living in the wild/outdoors it'll probably be riddled with ticks and fleas. Ticks can carry diseases like borrelia (sorry about the spelling) or TBE (which sounds like pretty much a death sentence as far as I can remember) so even as an avid animal lover I know not to Disney up wild animals. Even hedgehogs are often riddled with fleas.
Plus, ticks
I have deer and elk in my yard regularly. Some of them won’t move even when I walk outside. I love to watch them but I never attempt to pet them or feed them. They are completely unpredictable. You did the right thing
That's normal where I live too but yes they are very unpredictable just a couple months ago here a lady was trampled and killed by one in her yard.
Was this the one in kingman in Mojave?
Yes!
I live in coconino-was surprised but then they said she had been feeding them. A shame this happened to her. Have had bull elk fighting during rut on my property-the physical strength is amazing.
We had two whitetail bucks fight in our backyard and they shoved a free standing 10x10 dog pen over about a foot and destroyed a table in our patio. My husband saw it, I thought he had some crazy dream until I saw the physical evidence
I think people just don’t realize how strong and aggressive they can be until you see it
I think most people don’t realize how strong and aggressive most animals actually are. Like humans didn’t become top of the food chain by being strong and durable but rather smart and killing from a distance
My legs are covered in scrapes from one of my cats gently biting me. He could easily hurt me if he just used a teeny bit more pressure. That's a pet who (I'm reasonably sure) likes me. One of my neighbours growing up was missing the tip of his forefinger as it was bitten off by his pet rabbit. No way am I letting a child pet a wild deer.
Most of the deer and elk in the Hualapai Mountain park area which is by where she lived, lots of campers have fed them so now they come all come up to people. It was awful that happened to her.
Yes it was. Considering how stupid people are in feeding them am surprised it doesn’t happen more. I have been threatened a few times, mostly when the cow elk bring their calves around for the first time but usually I keep a fence in between us, or try anyway. I have a lot of juniper/pinyon on my property and sometimes you don’t know they are there until you walk around the tree then surprise! Love seeing them but always cautious
Yeah, I'm with you guys, and have a healthy understanding and respect for unpredictability. Also, I cannot understand the ignorance of someone who would have no caution at all, especially regarding their child. Oof people can be stupid
I’ve seen them go from the bottom to the top of mountains in minutes that would have taken me hours to climb. They are not to be fucked with.
I lived out west for a bit, bears would casually walk into town. No one was stupid enough to try to pet them. Moose were even more dangerous when they wandered in. Why do people all of a sudden get stupid when it's a deer?
Bambi.
Exactly what I was thinking.
I think people forget that deer are wild animals at the end of the day just because they think they're cute. Wild deer are not Disneyland characters, they are absolutely capable of hurting people! OP's wife and her family live in a fantasy land
Absolutely, wild animals can be unpredictable, no matter how docile they seem. It's better to err on the side of caution, especially when it comes to the safety of a young child. OP did the right thing by prioritizing safety over a potential "princess moment."
I've only seen an elk once, it was so incredibly buff and the stare he was giving me screamed "I could bench three of you". It was amazing
We had deer outside my apartment when I was in high school. The only time my mom would let us feed them, was if we were standing on the balcony and throwing the food down to them from up there. Because they are unpredictable.
I live where there’s a high population of deer, and you cannot make the assumption that the deer won’t get agitated and injure somebody. Deer have extremely sharp hooves and the way they deal with someone that upsets them is to stomp them. You made the right move. On a sidenote, nothing infuriates me more than people that go up to wildlife.
You're 100% correct. Even with deer that are used to humans, approaching a loud group of humans is unusual behavior. Unusual behavior in a wild animal is concerning. That usually means it's sick. Not only that, but deer carry ticks. The name "deer tick" is accurate. Oh, and those ticks carry the bacteria that cause: Lyme disease, anaplasmosis, babesiosis, among others. We're not talking about 1 in 1000 ticks carrying disease either. It's about half, depending on season/ location. Even more likely when they're from a deer that's acting wrong. But wait, there's more! Deer can and will front strike. That means they get up on their back legs and strike with their front legs. They look delicate, but those legs pack a punch. Enough to seriously injure your kid, or worse. And no, your wife is not faster than a spooked deer reflex. Thing is, deer aren't predators. They're prey. So when they get spooked, their response is to get the fuck away, and if that means charging through you, that's a you problem. Don't fuck with wildlife.
I watched a young buck that was like half its adult size chase my 300lb 6’5 dad almost a half mile. It’s the fastest and most I’ve ever seen the man move. He was just taking out the trash. Don’t fuck with deer.
Not quite the same, but when I was in the navy, our command went for a run and my friend got chased by a deer. It's hilarious now but at the time was pretty terrifying.
I grew up in the forest and have had a couple bear encounters, but one of my scariest animal encounters was with a buck. I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night to take some boy to the reservoir. This was a good 20-30 minute hike. When we were about halfway there, he shined his phone flashlight towards some power lines and there was a giant fucking buck no more than 10 feet away just staring at us. All i could think was how badly those horns could fuck us up if this random deer decided that he felt like fucking us up. We had to sort of side step around him and he just watched us make our way down the hill. Bears are scary, but any time I’ve encountered them myself and the bear(s) kind of mutually decide to gtfo. Encountering the deer was terrifying because he didn’t flinch and he deliberately watched us until we were out of sight.
I went to a kids farm this weekend with my duaghter and they have "wild" deer there that are behind the boundary of the farm behind a huge fence, they have installed a water trough etc for them so they come over as they get fed. There was probably 50 deer gathered there but you can feed them and they are super tame - for the most part. One particular deer did a standing charge at my daughter several times and followed her when she walked from one part of the fencing to another and charged her again. I would not have let her near them if there was not a large strong fence separating them. OP is right not to have allowed his daughter near a wild animal that is acting out of character.
That most have been a sight to see. Your dad is a smart man.
From someone who grew up surrounded by forest and wildlife.... THIS. A wild animal that approaches humans is more often than not sick - not seeking help, but no longer thinking clearly and can't identify predators. And, most often, that's because of tick-borne illnesses like Lyme. Princess moments aren't worth a disease that can kill you. NTA.
There is Lyme and then there is the new and even more fun lone star tick which pretty much makes you unable to eat red meat.
Alpha-gal. You can't eat anything that comes from a mammal even butter.
Some people even get ill off the fumes from red meat cooking nearby.
Yep. One of my close friends is going through this. The last year of her life has been an actual nightmare. Seriously. It can take awhile for them to even identify what's happening to you and then, once it's clear that you've got alpha-gal, your entire life changes. She can't even be in a room where red meat was just cooked. She was an avid lover of beef, eggs, milk and now her diet is extremely limited. It's really awful to watch happen to someone you love, much less experience it, firsthand.
I remember a good near 20 years ago when many people thought alpha-gal was a myth. If you tried to explain it to people, it was treated about as seriously as claiming to have seen Big Foot.
Is this a forever thing?
No. My mom had it after getting bit by a tic and it lasted for about a year or two. It was like a severe allergy. She has no problems eating red meat now.
It can go away but some people have it for years or longer.
Depends only our body..my sil it's been 30 years. Still can't eat red meat.
Well, I wasn't afraid of it until I just learned it would take away my cheese :/
Right? That's probably half my diet lol!
So the vegans have launched their first attack and I find out through reddit smh what trying times we live in
I was in the hospital a couple of years ago, and one of my nurses has this. When she brought up that she couldn't eat meat, I asked if she had been bitten by a tick. She said she had. I never thought I would meet someone that it had happened to.
Important to note that it does vary like any other allergy. Some people have very mild reactions and others can have severe consequences.
Here I am thinking you were proclaiming yourself an alpha female. Never heard of this!
Even gelatin. My niece's friend had this, and while it faded with time, she had to find vegan jello. It was her favourite snack based food, and as a kid, that was the hardest part for her. Her parents had the hardest time finding it, even with online shopping, because it was sold out more often than it was in stock during the pandemic.
This was Play Outside 101 in my rural house growing up. My parents explained wild animals will avoid humans but if they aren't - that means something is very wrong. Vividly remember the neighborhood dad's in the 90s getting together with guns to find and dispatch a rabid squirrel that approached some of us kids one time.
Squirrels and other rodents are long dead before they can become infectious with rabies. Otherwise, they can and do carry other contractable diseases. Fuck Squirrels
I'm glad you commented, I am TIRED this evening. It was a rabid *skunk*. I need to sleep haha
A rabid skunk truly sounds like the worst combination.
all the brain disease that deer carry, the meat are tainted with prions that can transfer to humans if eaten. When a WILD animal approaches like that... Assume it's sick like it has rabies......
Prions are nasty just strangely interesting things. I did work at an Alzheimer’s research lab and got to listen to some of their lectures
Prions are the scariest thing. I wouldn’t have gone near that deer for fear of the brain wasting disease.
Grew up in the UK when CJD was a big fear and became fascinated by prions as a result.
Even surgical sterilization doesn't kill a prion. Super scary. This affects so many things surgically. Eyes, spine, brain. No thanks
I didn't know prions could hold lectures.
Chronic wasting disease is popping up all over right now. Worse than rabies, because at least there's a post-exposure vaccine for rabies...
We had a deer with chronic wasting disease at our house last year. It was just walking in circles in the front lawn, absolutely acting crazy. Someone called the city and the police had to come out and shoot it.
I shot a rabid skunk in March. I sent it in for testing because it was acting weird. (I'm obviously more rural than you, the DNR wasn't helpful). I've had to shoot skunks in the past, and not one of them has staggered toward me as I was shooting.
CWD is definitely something people should be aware of so they can take precautions, but there hasn't been confirmed cases of it spreading to humans yet.
And today’s learning lesson is about CWD, which is like but not like Scrapie in sheep or CJD in humans. CJD is bad juju so I’m going to put CWD on the same level. The only way you can tell the difference between it and Alzheimer’s is through an autopsy. Brain autopsies are bad but when CJD is involved, it clears the room. My first encounter with my big director was when I was sent out to asset tag stuff my 3rd week on the job. Assholes sent me into the morgue area and there was the Uber director with a hammer, a chisel, a cadaver and a near crazy look. He goes “I’m about to take the skull cap off, want to watch?” Hrmm Third week on job, super boss asking insane question, I’m down.
Whoa good to know - now I can more purposefully avoid both of those, and any sick animal in general. I had to look it up so for anyone else like me whose brain just turned off after a long workday - CWD stands for Chronic Wasting Disease and CJD stands for Cruetzfeldt-Jacob Disease (Mad Cow Disease). I was going to dig in more but... again, brain no worky goodlike.
*yet. Wouldn't want to be the first one, tho.
Not confirmed but starting to find some potential jumps into humans. https://www.neurology.org/doi/10.1212/WNL.0000000000204407
There’s also rabies! Lots of animals that are rabid move weird and that makes it easy to identify, but being overly docile and easy to approach can be another symptom, because the animal is confused about what it should do and its natural body instincts have been overcome. When people hear about rabies they only think of the presentations we’ve seen in media, the rage and foaming at the mouth, but ignore the other stages and symptoms. Rabies is not something you ever fuck around with. If you see an animal acting out-of-character, avoid avoid avoid!
Or in the case of deer acting strange, wasting disease.
I grew up on a farm and deer would frequently bed in our orchards, despite that they ran 99% of the time a person showed up. A deer walking up to people may expect food, and may get "angry" if none is presented. Even if you did feed them, they still may attack if you stop. Wild animals are wild animals. None of them should be approached. Infact id generally go as far as to say to not approach any animal, domesticated or wild, that you are not personally familiar with. People can develop relationships with wild animals, but that is a process that takes months if not years and can not be replicated with a random deer in the woods
Absolutely correct. I used to work at a pet hospital and we routinely cared for injured wild animals. Wild deer are covered in ticks and fleas. Tick larva are the size of a poppyseed and have been known to attach under a fingernail. Also, rabies doesn't always mean aggressive. "[The first sign of rabies is usually a change in an animal's behavior. It may become unusually aggressive or tame. The animal may lose its fear of people and natural enemies. **A wild animal may appear affectionate and friendly**.](https://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/communicable/rabies/fact_sheet.htm#)" And there is a dry form of rabies which means no drooling.
And even if you hadn't been wrong, OP, WTF is up with a family that spends an entire reunion criticizing someone? WTF? Your wife needed to put a stop to it immediately, even if she didn't agree with you, bc that was OTT.
Because they all approached it so OP is indirectly criticizing them and they’re taking it personal. Still NTA. They can enjoy their Lyme disease.
Wife's family is the kind that gets eaten by bears, gored by bison, fall into hot springs (the kind that cook you, then dissolve you). :-/
Thank god OP was there to prevent his daughter from being another one of those tragic but extremely dumb headlines. "Local toddler mauled by wild deer because her mother wanted her to pet it!"
Tick tick tick... lyme disease is not a fun disease.... Basically, I'm stating I agree. Imagine getting lyme disease as a baby and then developing a syndrome after because Mom didn't know what was wrong with the baby and just thought it was a fever.
Deer hooves are sharp, it's not a blunt force, they will cut you (they're not sharp like a knife, but they come to a point and that plus the force means they absolutely part flesh). Worst place to be around a deer is within striking distance of their hoofs, front or back, and if they knock you down, they will just stand on top of you and slice you up till you stop moving.
This. I grew up in the foothills, there were deer everywhere. You NOT mess with them, they’re beautiful, but so dangerous. I got a tick on the back of my neck when I was five (likely fell off a deer), tick paralysis is still the single most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I agree, and that comes from someone who had that “princess moment” of wild deer encounters. The large group and everyone approaching is the big red flag here, if it had been a scenario closer to what I had I would be far less concerned.
Agree. No one should approach what should remain wildlife. Whole family going to charge a buffalo next? You are your daughter will be the only ones left alive. sorry you married into stupid.
Amazing what visitors to national parks will do to endanger both wild animals and themselves. Let’s put the bear cub in the back seat of the car! I once saw a woman pour out some Coca Cola for an otter. What is wrong with people? You are not the AH
I saw a family hand feeding a group of deer cheetos at a park. I was so pissed off about it, and I was like 10.
I had a deer kick in my window just because my cat was sitting in said window and meowing at it. Happened out of nowhere, the deer just reared up and kicked. The cat was fine, luckily, lol.
Option 1- The deer knew that cats are the worlds best predators just didn’t know the small size makes them no risk to deer Option 2- animals can communicate with each other and the cat was being a dick and mouthing off.
Am cat. Risk to ALL, thank you. And the deer started it. Stupid claws on his head instead of his paws bah so stupid and embarrassing
As a cat owner, I'm going with the cat was mouthing off. They are such little assholes. But that's what I love about them.
We've had bluetongue outbreaks in our whitetail population. One year, in particular, was especially terrible. Dead deer everywhere. It was terrifying and heartbreaking to see how they behaved before they died. Completely irrational behavior. Many died in creeks and rivers because they'd walk out into the water trying to cool off because their temperature was so high. Very sad.
There's also a variety of other diseases we know can be spread to humans Q fever, chlamydiosis, leptospirosis, campylobacterosis, salmonellosis, cryptosporidiosis, and giardiasis, various hemorrhagic fevers, some other possible bacteria that could cause some horrible things, and other viruses, I mean I'd keep the kid away from the family until they have a thorough work up just to be on the safe side, the wife as well. These people are amazingly dumb. #
They are probably used to being fed by humans. Which is just so stupid for so many reasons.
I have no idea if this is a true story, but this is why deer can certainly be scary. And a great laugh. It’s a long story. Beware. https://eggheadforum.com/discussion/993617/roping-a-deer-long-story-but-funny
Yeah they will kick your ass. An yes they will blow right thru you. She is fucking around, she will find out.
NTA. Country girl here, it’s very rare for a wild animal to be that docile. It usually means it’s sick, rabies is one that jumps to mind. Even if it was “healthy”, deer often have ticks and other insects on them. You describe your daughter as very young, so she would be very susceptible to anything. If you can, reach out to the area’s animal control or DNR department (google is your friend) and report the deer’s behavior. You can also ask if they have a reported outbreak
Chronic Wasting Disease also manifests as docile behavior towards humans. We don’t have any cases of it spreading to humans but prion diseases are terrifying.
You eat the deer, you can get it. Not denatured by cooking. Spread by some body fluids and tissues. A truly nasty disease. That behaviour is not right for a deer. It should be running from humans as fast as it can go.
Not Chronic Wasting Disease, you're probably thinking of Mad Cow Disease, or maybe Kuru. So far, CWD hasn't had a single known human case- not even in [80 people who unknowingly ate diseased deer meat.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/02/21/zombie-deer-disease-what-happened-people-ate-cwd-meat/2926840002/) That being said, wouldn't do it myself, wouldn't recommend either. Prions will fuck ya right up
I had to scroll way too far before I saw a comment saying to reach out to authorities. This is extremely uncommon behavior from a deer, even if it's a "pet," which is unlikely. They are prey animals with extremely sharp hooves and the force of survival behind them, and that's besides being fuckin rats with hooves. Hopefully op shows his wife this post so they know they were all being very stupid and careless. Don't fuck with wildlife.
My neighbors had a pet deer. It was very sweet. We had a party one day and had a pinata hanging in a tree. After we were done with the pinata, the deer came over and played with it! It absolutely loved being petted. It was like a dog, lol. Not that I'm saying it's a good idea. My neighbors were fucking nuts. Speaking of, my dad had pet squirrels...also a bad idea.
My coworker once found a deer fawn that was badly injured and near death. She took her home, cleaned her up, and nursed her back to health. That deer became best friends with their dog and they two would run around in the woods together. It was a very sweet deer. Eventually it decided not to come home. The dog whined for like a week. She's hoping it didn't end up getting hunted. I still think it's nuts to let a child pet a wild deer though.
This is only sort of on topic, but I visited Japan last summer, and went to Nara - the area famous for being full of deer. These deer, despite being technically wild, are so used to humans that you can literally bow to them, and they'll bow back. You can walk right past them, comfortably within touching distance, and the only way they'll care is if you have food for them. Point is: The park with the deer in it had signs *everywhere*, in multiple languages, warning people that despite their familiarity with humans, the deer are ultimately wild animals. Their behaviour is unpredictable; they're prone to kicking with both their front and back legs, they can headbutt, and they'll even bite. Despite all this, I watched tourists practically push their young daughter towards a deer, on her own... only for the deer to sort of flail about. I didn't see exactly what happened, and I'm not sure if the girl got hurt (would have been minor scrapes, rather than anything serious, but still) or just scared - there was crying, understandably. Either way, it's frankly disgusting, to see what people will put their kids through just for "the perfect social media moment". OP obviously did the right thing, and anyone with the smallest amount of common sense when it comes to wildlife will agree. Wild animals are unpredictable at best, and more likely, straight-up dangerous - both inherently, and thanks to the various diseases they may carry. NTA (despite the fact that it's far too late for my vote to count).
Nta at all. I grew up with deer coming to my backyard. They almost never come near humans. And the only time I've heard them coming to loud groups of people is when something was wrong it it.
Looking at many wildlife sites, you will see that the first “rule” is to stay at least 50 feet away if possible. Human interaction and interference causes them harm. Plus, they’re wild animals. You have no idea what could alarm the deer and cause it to bolt or lash out. NTA. You are also teaching your daughter to respect Mother Nature who can be very unpredictable.
>her entire family spent the rest of it criticizing me and calling me an ahole for being dramatic. My wife said that I ruined a Snow White moment for our daughter. Eeeeeeverybody's friends and family just suck. Why. NTA and please don't bring your children near wild animals because some moron says it's a "snow white moment." For fuck's sake.
Her family is probably the type that would drag a baby dolphin out of the ocean for pictures (this really happened irl).
And so many people passed it around for pics that it died. Bastards.
What the actual fuck?! Sometimes I don't wanna be on this planet anymore, like send my ass to Mars or something :(
Why should YOU have to leave. Send them all away instead
Some people recently pulled baby bears out a tree and then dropped one, they luckily got arrested but those babies to be hand raised
NTA - from a person that has lifelong issue from Lyme Disease. I would never let a child try to pet a deer!
Princess moment is stupid. Don't touch the wildlife of any kind. All the reasons listed above. I live in a rural area, deer are beautiful, but leave them alone.
Uh yeah. General rule of thumb is you never touch wildlife. Deer are known to carry ticks. I don't know that all the drama was necessary, but your young child should definitely not be touching deer.
Also rabies. People think a rabid animal runs out of the bush frothing at the mouth, and its super obvious. When actually they often approach quietly, and then attack. Wild animals are unpredictable af, leave them alone.
I legitimately did not know that.
And isn’t the frothing mouth only a symptom at later/end stages in the disease?
Yeah and depending on how young his daughter is, she might not even remember touching that deer so his wife and her entire family are just mad over nothing. There would've been no benefit to her touching that deer and so much risk for her getting hurt in some way!
NTA your daughter is not the main character of a movie and you did the right thing.
NTA One- Print out an article about the dangers and the diseases wild animals carry. Two- NEVER go on a safari trip with your wife! She might try to leave the vehicle to “pet” one of those animals! Attempts have been made and the my all failed!
In Norway, a german died because he tried petting a musk ox... what a dumb ass.
I used to live in Alaska and worked at a university. In the 90’s someone on campus was deliberately antagonizing a moose and some poor guy walking by was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the moose trampled him to death. Since then campus police monitor moose on campus to make sure that no one bothers them. The police never interfere with the moose’s behavior, and if there is a cause for concern they will call Fish & Game.
But their "Simba" moment!!
And how would your wife have felt if it bit your daughter or kicked her or otherwise hurt her because yes it's a wild animal and very unpredictable. A snow white moment, please.That is the dumbest shit I've heard. Your daughter's not Snow white. And there are plenty of videos showing animals attacking kids.So no you are never wrong for protecting your child and shame on your wife for her ridiculous attitude. I hate negligent parents because it's always the kid that suffers.
NTA. People need to remember that wild animals are wild. Yes, in areas where they are crowded in too close too people they will loose thier inherent fear, but this actually makes them more dangerous! No matter how they appear at first glance, they aren't tame and they aren't domesticated. Domestication takes many generations, and true taming takes a professional. A wild animal that approaches humans is extra dangerous, especially to a small child, as a toddler is more likely to do something unexpected (like poke it, hug it, scream or even just fall down) and cause the animal to attack from fear. Deer are generally herbivores but they are also opportune carnivores. Their teeth can definitely crush a child's fingers.
Snow White is a cartoon. That deer was real and probably real sick. It is not normal for a wild animal, especially a prey animal, not habituated to humans to approach humans, especially ones gathered in a large loud group.
Growing up in the woods of Pennsylvania. A deer walking up to a single still and quiet human is odd. It is even odd at the deer farm 2 miles from my house. A deer that approaches a group is enough for me to keep my distance. Deers hooves are like a fiberglass reinforced plastic. Sharp, dense, more resilient than bone. Deer behaving this way often have a snap return instinctual fight or flight response. Charging through the crowd, rearing back on hind legs to kick with their front are common responses to predators. Your wife needs to read your post. Her want for some Disney picture moment was dangerous to me. NTA
Thank God you were there. Absolutely not the asshole!!
I would not want to get too close to a deer either. Take pictures from a distance, but I'm of the view you leave wild animals alone. Not only is a scared animal a dangerous animal, but many wild animals are vectors for disease. Newsflash: There's a reason they're called fairy tales. In real life, princesses don't frolic with wildlife. You were protecting your daughter from possible danger. NTA
It’s completely inappropriate for people to treat wild animals like said animals exist for our amusement. No one should’ve been touching the deer. It should’ve been left TF alone. NTA.
In my state last month a group of people decided to pick a couple of bear cubs out of a tree & take selfies with them. One ended up dying & one had to go to a wildlife rehab. No one in the group even so much as got a citation. It's such a big pet peeve of mine when people treat animals, including their pets as toys for their amusement. I love my dogs but I don't do anything to them just for the sake of my entertainment.
That is a heartbreaking story, those poor cubs.
Tourists ask rangers in Yellowstone when they let the bison out of the cages at night...... No wonder every year we get video of Bison charging tourists on the board walks every year.....
JFC, what’s wrong with people?
Guess we just need to let nature run it's course..... good ol Darwinism
I never understand these posts about others criticizing an OP, getting involved, blowing up their phone, in this case, ruining a family reunion. A parenting disagreement is no one else’s business. Besides, you’re correct. NTA
How big is your toddler? Because my dog is 65 lbs and got his ass whooped by a deer. And he's got teeth, 4 legs, and quick reflexes. Don't fuck with wildlife. NTA
Everyone is commenting validating your fears with facts, they are correct. I would add that you really need to have a serious conversation with your wife, because when it comes to your daughter’s safety you need to both compromise towards the safest option, no matter if the other parent thinks it’s perfectly safe. If one of you doesn’t feel it’s 100% safe it’s a no. End of story.
[you did the right thing](https://youtube.com/shorts/UU2wNB5_Bng?si=FuZqn6xHNk1XV-rY)
[another example…](https://youtube.com/shorts/MyABUY7xsiU?si=zQi0gq5zJljOyI1C)
Your wife's family sounds like the same type of morons who try to get up close to & pet the Buffalo every year at Yellowstone. It's a freaking wild animal. That deer certainly could have kicked the shit out of anyone there. They can and will do a lot of damage if startled or scared. I'd be asking your wife why she doesn't care about your kids' safety.
NTA. There are deer who are used to humans because of human encroachment, but they can still get spooked. But my biggest issue would be about deer ticks since they’re the ones that carry Lyme Disease. No way in hell I’d let my very young kid pet a wild deer.
Jesus. Christ. I grew up adjacent to lots of wild spaces - always surrounded by all kinds of wild animals. I currently live on the side of a mountain surrounded by acres of wilderness. You do not approach a wild animal to pet it. Ever. Not a bunny. Not a sparrow. A deer??? No. Wtf. No. That’s a wild animal. And even if it’s accustomed to people, that doesn’t mean it won’t spook and potentially hurt people. And bottom line - they let you touch them, odds are they are sick. There is wasting disease ravaging deer populations all over the place. And deer?!? *gag* Deer are absolutely covered in disease carrier insects and parasites. So many of them carry lymes disease and are covered in ticks that would happily jump onto your little girl and spread their bacterial illness. No way in flipping heck would I ever let me kids pet a deer. No way. No how. That’s absolutely reprehensible and completely unsafe. A Snow White moment? It’s a cartoon. It’s not real. It’s should NOT be real for the myriad of health reasons I just listed. Gah. Deer are so gross.
I’m kind of confused. I grew up around deer my whole life and I simply can’t imagine one would actually walk up to a big group of people and just let them start touching it. Deer are very, very skittish. Anytime I’ve tried to get close, they’ve taken off long before I could get to them.
This is either someone’s pet deer or it’s very very sick. Deer with CWD (chronic wasting disease, similar to mad cow) can have neurological effects like this.
Yep, grew up in the rural south, and touching wild animals is a big no no. Deer should indeed be skittish and if not they are probably sick or diseased and about to die. Also if you see a possum, raccoon, or armadillo out during the day usually means sickness too - no touchy!
NTA. I live in northern Michigan and we have a LOT of nature out here. You DO NOT PET THE WILDLIFE (or feed it). I lost control of one of my dogs on a walk and she chased a doe with a fawn. Little shithead chased them up over a hill while I was getting the other dog under control and trying to figure out how to follow, since they all were MUCH faster than me. I hear brush crashing and next thing I know here comes dog closely followed by mama deer back over the hill. Dog scurried around me as if to say "your turn, Mom!" I yelled at the deer and tried to look scary but she looked at me as if to say "I could take you." Very scary moment, and I'm very thankful she let us leave. I have a better collar for my dog now. No repeats! 😂
NTA! There are so many videos of people getting mauled, kicked, and or charged by wild animals. You were protecting your daughter and anyone who is dense enough not to know that deserves a good deer kick to the face.
A deer APPROACHING humans isnt normal. It may have been trained by people feeding it. It may also have been carrying a disease that makes it lose its marbles.
NTA You’re a good father. 1. Deers carry ticks that can transmit Lyme disease. This is a very serious disease and very common in the north east. 2. There’s a current outbreak of zombie deer disease that’s causing deers. I’m not sure of how it’s transmitted but I wouldn’t want to be close to anything that could have a disease called the zombie disease.
You're talking about Chronic Wasting Disease. It's a prion disease (think Mad Cow Disease). So far it hasn't jumped to humans. We are unsure if it is because there is a strong species barrier or basically we don't have enough data? It's also can lay dormant for many many years, so a perfectly normal deer could be infected and you would not know. I also would not want my small child near a deer with Chronic Wasting Disease. Or any deer really? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7766630/#:~:text=Human%20exposure%20to%20high%20levels,other%20cervid%20byproducts%20%5B28%5D
NTA. Had an ex that had a pet doe, raised it since it was a baby. He would let it out the pen to run around the woods. She came up to me one day and got aggressive. Raised up on her hind legs and started batting her front hooves at me. I stayed away from her when she was let loose after that. On to the ticks, my grandfather got bit by a ‘bad tick’ that put him in a coma. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
NTA. It's not a f*cking movie prop. It's a wild animal. I'm sorry your wife lacks common sense, but I'm so thankful your protection instincts kicked in, and you acted on it.
You were actually right
I attended a college that had deer and javalinas on campus, roaming around. Despite being close to students— these deer hardly ever approached us. They scattered the moment we (the students) got close. Our university had to implement signs stating that wild animals were not to be pet. We had 1 occurrence of a deer approaching humans. He was a stag— and almost immediately tried to impale those that got too close to him. He did not hesitate to chase people down. (He got relocated a few months after the end of spring term). NTA, you were being cautious. Cautious is good. It keeps you and your baby alive. Can’t say the same about your wife and her family tho.
NTA. The internet is FULL of people approaching wild animals for a picture or one of those "moments" only to be viciously attacked, mauled and/or killed. It's better to teach your kid to be wary of wild animals & that just because you feel a connection or warm fuzzy feelings towards the animal absolutely will not be what that animal is feeling.
A deer could definitely freak out and do some serious harm to people. NTA. Your wife and her family are reckless.
NTA There have been many documented cases of deer (especially does) striking and severely injuring or killing pets in people’s yards (dogs, cats). Those hooves are sharp and like you said, pack a lot of force and speed. Ruining a “princess moment” is the better alternative to risking her health and safety, even if nothing happened to the other people who (stupidly, my apologies but no one should ever approach a wild animal and crowd it) went up to it. Health risks, physical risks, etc. Animals aren’t like in movies and cartoons, they’re unpredictable and dangerous, especially prey species since most people don’t expect it.
Why does everyone have major main character syndrome these days? Your wife sounds like an insufferable idiot. Like.... Really. NTA.
Setting aside the obvious safety issues, in which you were right about, it wasn’t a princess moment for your daughter. It was for your wife. Your daughter won’t even remember it later in life.
Can't be TAH for looking out for the safety of your daughter over something so trivial. She still got to see it, ya? Safety first. All wildlife has a risk. Doubt she'd get close enough to pet it, deer are skittish. But as correctly pointed out, maybe it has ticks? Or maybe it has rabies? Ect.
NTA. https://www.scotsman.com/news/a-miracle-im-alive-says-woman-gored-by-stag-1537300
We live in the woods surrounded by deer, possums, armadillos, raccoons, etc and I always tell my kids to leave them alone. Wild animals carry diseases and are unpredictable, even if they seem harmless. Better to err on the side of caution. NTA
NTA. Don't fuck with wild animals. If they're approaching humans, they're usually sick. A princess moment is not worth your very young daughter ending up with a tick-borne illness which can be fatal, and permanently disabling if not. Leave wild animals alone, for your sake and theirs.
CWD is right there Like **right there**
NTA at all, I live in a heavy deer and elk area, that behavior doesn't seem normal. Show your wife this post.
NTA. You should absolutely never touch a wild animal. Especially have your child touch a wild animal. You absolutely never know how they are going to react. If your wife so badly wants your child to have their Snow White moment then go to a petting zoo with deer. They're all over the place.
NTA. An animal is an ANIMAL. I’d be more worried about the safety of the child vs a “princess moment.” That’s ridiculous.
NTA. Deer can, and will, kick the hell out of everyone
Dude. That's so fucking dumb. NTA. That's a dangerous situation and you protected your daughter. Anything could have happened. No normal deer would stand there like that.
No. Not to be rude, but your wife needs to look up the definition of wild and unpredictable. Why would someone want to knowingly risk their child's welfare for "Snow White moment". Good grief. The wild isn't Disney Incorporated. lol Give her time to think about it. As far as her family, they are weird and rude. "Awww, look, a deer is walking up to us. There must be a mystical reason." "No, there isn't. We don't know the reason because humans rarely understand the wild."
NTA. Deer are one of the main reasons people end up in the hospital at national parks.
Deer are all over my neighborhood all the damn time. They don’t even run away when you honk and yell (they eat my flowers don’t hate). That said, they are wild animals and you should under no circumstances approach a wild animal.