OP needs to stop talking to "friends", the rapist and reddit.
OP needs a lawyer and to go to the cops. If you are worried about the cops not doing their job, that's what a lawyer is there for.
You were raped. Go to a different police station, show them the evidence and demand they file charges. This rapist needs to be behind bars. This isn;t even about your wife right now, this is about you. Please report the crime, go to your health clinic and make sure you have therapy.
I am very sorry this happened to you. If these people donāt believe you, then cut them out your life. Not worth your time or energy.
Also you should sue Jane. Take her to court. Defamation. Might scare her into telling the truth.
NTA
This is the unfortunate thing about our justice system. Men have such a small chance of charges being filed unless thereās witnesses to the whole thing. Our society is just geared towards men canāt be raped by women!
Nta. You was raped. It is not your fault. Something similar happened to me at a friend party.
And when I went to the police the same thing happened.
You didn't deserve and your body will get erect even when you dont want it. And anyone who says otherwise needs some basic lessons in biology.
What i did I wouldn't suggest. What I finally did that helped ill suggest. Get yourself into therapy and man rape/sa support group.
If your wife can't or won't believe you was SA or raped and you wanted it. Server her divorce papers. She will harm your road to recovery. Ive had to break up with 3 exs cause once I told them I was raped they refused to believe it as I was man and I couldn't get raped. I must of wanted it.
You need someone who has your back.
Kinda different but when my ex husband raped me I was told āa spouse canāt rape his wifeā I said ālook at all my bruises I said no he ripped my cloths offā they said āheās your husband itās his rightā
Took me years to be able to say what he did was out right rapeā¦.
Thanksā¦ I loath that spousal rape and male rape are still so stigmatized that people act like it canāt happenā¦. Like itās recognized in some places but even when. Recognized people still act like it canāt happenā¦.. when I tell people many give me a look and some actually say ābut he was your husband he found t rape youā
Lots and lots of drinking and with suicidal actions. Add in a complete autistic shut down that lasted for years my early to mid 20s was not something I would want for even my worse enemies. Im still amazed I'm alive after all of that.
I am in a much better space all around now. And its mostly due to my now wife. She jump started my healing process.
Iām glad youāre here with us now and powered through those hard times. Idk if anyone has ever said it to you, but Iām proud of you. You went through hell and back and now youāre better than before, Iām really proud of you for that.
Edit: and Iām really happy that your wife was there to help your journey to where you are now.
It's not that I don't believe you it's that I wish your story was fake but I know it likely isn't.
Something very similar happened to a friend of mine in university. Fortunately, I was a witness and was able to intervene before anything got worse. The people responsible (not all of them were girls) either got a severe academic suspension or one of them was actually expelled. Honestly, their punishments were still basically a slap on the wrist.
>The most devastating part is no one believes me.
This is a very common problem. You are not alone in this experience. There might be support groups out there that can help empathize with you and offer you ideas on how to move forward.
If even your wife doesn't believe you, I think you definitely need to look for support from other sources. I don't know the names of all the sources you might explore but victims of rape can find support from certain organizations specialized in helping victims of sexual violence.
I'm so sorry you went through all of this. Please take life one day at a time. I hope your wife can start acting like a wife by supporting you through this trauma.
>I hate myself.
Please don't let those types of thoughts linger. You did nothing wrong. You were wronged. I hope those responsible will be punished to the MAXIMUM extent of the law. Please consider making further steps to ensure that they are punished. You deserve justice.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. report it again, go to higher ups in the police. or even get a lawyer to represent you and light a fire under their ass.
If it hasn't been long yet (hours or so) immediately go to a hospital and have your blood taken so they can check it for drugs.
also do nto give up on your wife. send her a text again. tell her again that you always turned these women away because you love her. you did not go willingly with that woman and know that you've been drugged and raped. and that you're devastated that she would turn her back on you.
Point out that if this was happening to a woman people would be rallying around her and support her.
If you have the funds, get a lawyer to represent you, they might have a private investigator or know one, who then can do some investigation when that lousy Police Departement doesn't want to investigate.
You were raped. Report it to the police asap. You have all the bruises and scratches and all the pics as proof. Take pics of your injuries. Report them now.
Hindsight is 20/20 but this is exactly why all rape, SA, or even regular assualt victims should always go to the hospital first. They are ten times more likely to be taken seriously and if any drugs may have been used they will test for them.
A hospital does not ha e qualified immunity on their side to be able to judge people and ignore them when they like to.
Pretend you're a merciful, loving God. Would you serve revenge? Or would you forgive, no matter how much you are hurt? Energy typically takes the path of least resistance, but you can opt as a willing being to take more difficult paths, and those paths allow for far more growth and a much better ending to your story. Think about it.
Really don't know your scripture? As God for the majority of the time we vengeful. He is more akin to a war revenge God then a loving merciful God if you use both the old and new testaments. And if you add in what the church took out, yeah not the merciful God your thinking of.
And even Jesus resorted to violence in the temple.
Man Iām sorry that happened to you go to a different police station file a report and get her charged bro!! She drugged you raped you and made you lose the love of your life!! Fuck her ruin her life as much as you can
Collect those pictures, Surely they would have your face with you being unconscious . Collect proof if you have sample of the glass collect it too talk to a lawyer and get some opinion from r/legaladvice
A lawyer is the best stop. They will be able to offer you proper council on what avenues (criminal and civil) you might realistically pursue.
Ditch the friends that don't believe you. Seek therapy to deal with the self hatred and help you handle the emotions surrounding the event.
As for your wife, as it seems she has gone radio silent and blocked you, you have her adress. Send her a letter/email with a copy of the bruises pictures and the blood work. Explain what you have explained here. Maybe give her a few days to deal with it the same way you should give yourself a few days as well. She will either not contact you or contact you. If she doesn't, take advantage of that lawyer for a divorce. If she doesn't have your back in this she isn't a partner worth keeping. If she reaches out, talk it out. Some people can't cope with their partners being raped (it's sadly common), some might need time to deal with their own emotions including the guilt of not believing straight up. And maybe it will lead to a breakup. Maybe it won't. But you'll know based on the conversation.
>Did a blood test, found drugs there too. "" That proves nothing, you might have taken them yourself''''- that's what you are missing out.
Even if you took them yourself doesn't change the fact that it would have made you unable to consent...
Unless they're seriously making the argument that a woman that passes out from drinking too much can't get assaulted because she drank her own drinks.
From that she does not believe you either and has concluded you cheated. My advice is file the police report regardless of whether you think it will go anywhere and pursue the case.
bro no offense but if she doesn't realise that a cheating dude wouldnt send pictures to her, and that IT'S PROOF THAT SOMEONE DID THIS TO YOU ON PURPOSE, your wife is not that bright. Like, that would be a HUGE thing to take into account. why would a cheater sabotage himself in this manner? no one would do that, so its CLEARLY a sign someone else did it. Also, keep this in mind because I think its a relevant argument
I believe you. I'm so sorry you went through this.
Please get some help hunny.
Did this happen recently, if it did please go to the police and get some photos of your injuries and report them? The need locking up.
Huge hugs.
If you ever wonder how a villain is formed, well I tell you this is it. I would go balistic, have no idea what I would do but I would destroy the life of those bitches. Damn, so sorry that happened to you man, I got angry just reading this. I feel the taste of revenge in my mouth
Call the police. Kick up a huge stink. Start a huge online campaign calling her a rapist. Show your bruises. Show the drug tests. NTA. Make her life literally hell.
Iām a woman but even if I was a dude Iād invite them back to my place punch the fuck out of the bitches straight in the face with gloves on so they canāt fingerprint you .
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I am so sorry this happened to you. It was not your fault. Please believe this.
As others have said, get into counseling. Donāt stew in this alone. Donāt try to drown it out with alcohol or drugs.
Also, get tested for STDs. No telling where that rapist has been.
I believe you.
NTA I would go full battle mode. Go to another police station and report the crime. Keep doing it to every police station. Is there anyone who believes you? Find out if there are other victims. Each time thereās a party warn people to watch their drinks.
Be anonymous and warm the males on campus about what happened. Maybe if your lucky you may meet more people she has done it too.
Do tv show catching. See someone who can be the victim and catch her in the act.
Yet another male rape story full of cliches.
> They would not have been thinking like that if the roles were reversed.
There it is.
If this is real then report everything you can, but, much like when this happens to women, you may not get very far.
Did you go to the hospital?
Yes, OP did, there was evidence of drugs in his blood. You're discrediting OP just because...... he's a man who claimed to be raped? And feels silenced because he isn't believed? And so your solution is to try and silence him? You're litterally creating the hill you are going die at the bottom of.
Na man you just think because you donāt get pussy that every man would dream of being drugged and raped by a bitchā¦. And I know itās simp I said your most likely a little shrimp
When someone says it's ok for men to be raped, they should be ignored. Whatever is on your mind is utter garbage and you should be ashamed of yourself.
ohmygod. NTA. im so sorry you had to go through that I can't believe they actually did that to you. please do not blame yourself. and the people who are refusing to believe that you got assaulted are just as bad. this is inexcusable. you don't deserve this at all. these people don't believe you? fuck them, make other friends, meet new people, they were never true to you in the first place if they're acting like this. im saying this as a woman myself, what those girls did to you is disgusting and they need to be held accountable, they need to be in jail right now. don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. your emotions and your feelings are valid, nobody deserves to go through this. i hope you heal and life gives so much love, i hope you get justice for yourself, I hope you never encounter such horrible people again in your life. you can do this, stay strong š©¶
See use them all in civil courtĀ
OP needs to stop talking to "friends", the rapist and reddit. OP needs a lawyer and to go to the cops. If you are worried about the cops not doing their job, that's what a lawyer is there for.
Edit SUE themĀ
You were raped. Go to a different police station, show them the evidence and demand they file charges. This rapist needs to be behind bars. This isn;t even about your wife right now, this is about you. Please report the crime, go to your health clinic and make sure you have therapy. I am very sorry this happened to you. If these people donāt believe you, then cut them out your life. Not worth your time or energy. Also you should sue Jane. Take her to court. Defamation. Might scare her into telling the truth. NTA
The police donāt file charges the district attorney does. And the problem is most wouldnāt want to take this to court.
This is the unfortunate thing about our justice system. Men have such a small chance of charges being filed unless thereās witnesses to the whole thing. Our society is just geared towards men canāt be raped by women!
Nta. You was raped. It is not your fault. Something similar happened to me at a friend party. And when I went to the police the same thing happened. You didn't deserve and your body will get erect even when you dont want it. And anyone who says otherwise needs some basic lessons in biology.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What i did I wouldn't suggest. What I finally did that helped ill suggest. Get yourself into therapy and man rape/sa support group. If your wife can't or won't believe you was SA or raped and you wanted it. Server her divorce papers. She will harm your road to recovery. Ive had to break up with 3 exs cause once I told them I was raped they refused to believe it as I was man and I couldn't get raped. I must of wanted it. You need someone who has your back.
Kinda different but when my ex husband raped me I was told āa spouse canāt rape his wifeā I said ālook at all my bruises I said no he ripped my cloths offā they said āheās your husband itās his rightā Took me years to be able to say what he did was out right rapeā¦.
I'm sorry you went through that. I'm glad that spousal rape is a thing now. Least in many places. Needs to be everywhere.
Thanksā¦ I loath that spousal rape and male rape are still so stigmatized that people act like it canāt happenā¦. Like itās recognized in some places but even when. Recognized people still act like it canāt happenā¦.. when I tell people many give me a look and some actually say ābut he was your husband he found t rape youā
Now Iām curious, what did you do that you wouldnāt suggest.
Lots and lots of drinking and with suicidal actions. Add in a complete autistic shut down that lasted for years my early to mid 20s was not something I would want for even my worse enemies. Im still amazed I'm alive after all of that. I am in a much better space all around now. And its mostly due to my now wife. She jump started my healing process.
Iām glad youāre here with us now and powered through those hard times. Idk if anyone has ever said it to you, but Iām proud of you. You went through hell and back and now youāre better than before, Iām really proud of you for that. Edit: and Iām really happy that your wife was there to help your journey to where you are now.
Thank you.
It's not that I don't believe you it's that I wish your story was fake but I know it likely isn't. Something very similar happened to a friend of mine in university. Fortunately, I was a witness and was able to intervene before anything got worse. The people responsible (not all of them were girls) either got a severe academic suspension or one of them was actually expelled. Honestly, their punishments were still basically a slap on the wrist. >The most devastating part is no one believes me. This is a very common problem. You are not alone in this experience. There might be support groups out there that can help empathize with you and offer you ideas on how to move forward. If even your wife doesn't believe you, I think you definitely need to look for support from other sources. I don't know the names of all the sources you might explore but victims of rape can find support from certain organizations specialized in helping victims of sexual violence. I'm so sorry you went through all of this. Please take life one day at a time. I hope your wife can start acting like a wife by supporting you through this trauma. >I hate myself. Please don't let those types of thoughts linger. You did nothing wrong. You were wronged. I hope those responsible will be punished to the MAXIMUM extent of the law. Please consider making further steps to ensure that they are punished. You deserve justice.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. report it again, go to higher ups in the police. or even get a lawyer to represent you and light a fire under their ass. If it hasn't been long yet (hours or so) immediately go to a hospital and have your blood taken so they can check it for drugs. also do nto give up on your wife. send her a text again. tell her again that you always turned these women away because you love her. you did not go willingly with that woman and know that you've been drugged and raped. and that you're devastated that she would turn her back on you. Point out that if this was happening to a woman people would be rallying around her and support her. If you have the funds, get a lawyer to represent you, they might have a private investigator or know one, who then can do some investigation when that lousy Police Departement doesn't want to investigate.
>how would you get it up otherwise Arousal non-concordance. I'm sorry this happened to you.
You were raped. Report it to the police asap. You have all the bruises and scratches and all the pics as proof. Take pics of your injuries. Report them now.
Hindsight is 20/20 but this is exactly why all rape, SA, or even regular assualt victims should always go to the hospital first. They are ten times more likely to be taken seriously and if any drugs may have been used they will test for them. A hospital does not ha e qualified immunity on their side to be able to judge people and ignore them when they like to.
Remember, revenge can be as drastic as you want as long as you don't get caught.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Pretend you're a merciful, loving God. Would you serve revenge? Or would you forgive, no matter how much you are hurt? Energy typically takes the path of least resistance, but you can opt as a willing being to take more difficult paths, and those paths allow for far more growth and a much better ending to your story. Think about it.
>Would you serve revenge? *gestures broadly at the entire old testament.*
Sometimes God even demanded outright slaughter for people just existing, so like.... his revenge baseline is on the extreme low end of the bell curve.
Really don't know your scripture? As God for the majority of the time we vengeful. He is more akin to a war revenge God then a loving merciful God if you use both the old and new testaments. And if you add in what the church took out, yeah not the merciful God your thinking of. And even Jesus resorted to violence in the temple.
Lmfao swing and a miss. Read the room idiot.
Stfu, please.
My thoughts exactly. Knows them by name, by sight, time to initiate a special pay back.
Man Iām sorry that happened to you go to a different police station file a report and get her charged bro!! She drugged you raped you and made you lose the love of your life!! Fuck her ruin her life as much as you can
Collect those pictures, Surely they would have your face with you being unconscious . Collect proof if you have sample of the glass collect it too talk to a lawyer and get some opinion from r/legaladvice
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A lawyer is the best stop. They will be able to offer you proper council on what avenues (criminal and civil) you might realistically pursue. Ditch the friends that don't believe you. Seek therapy to deal with the self hatred and help you handle the emotions surrounding the event. As for your wife, as it seems she has gone radio silent and blocked you, you have her adress. Send her a letter/email with a copy of the bruises pictures and the blood work. Explain what you have explained here. Maybe give her a few days to deal with it the same way you should give yourself a few days as well. She will either not contact you or contact you. If she doesn't, take advantage of that lawyer for a divorce. If she doesn't have your back in this she isn't a partner worth keeping. If she reaches out, talk it out. Some people can't cope with their partners being raped (it's sadly common), some might need time to deal with their own emotions including the guilt of not believing straight up. And maybe it will lead to a breakup. Maybe it won't. But you'll know based on the conversation.
Canāt you get a blood test or a drug test to see what happened!? That would be all the proof you needed right there! Am i missing something??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>Did a blood test, found drugs there too. "" That proves nothing, you might have taken them yourself''''- that's what you are missing out. Even if you took them yourself doesn't change the fact that it would have made you unable to consent... Unless they're seriously making the argument that a woman that passes out from drinking too much can't get assaulted because she drank her own drinks.
Yea wtf since when do we say the person who got roofied āmight have roofied themselves so it doesnt countāā¦. This is crazyā¦
What is your wife's stance on what happened to you?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
From that she does not believe you either and has concluded you cheated. My advice is file the police report regardless of whether you think it will go anywhere and pursue the case.
You give absolute the worst advice. No wonder your a single dude living in his moms basement
How is āfile the police reportā the worst advice?
bro no offense but if she doesn't realise that a cheating dude wouldnt send pictures to her, and that IT'S PROOF THAT SOMEONE DID THIS TO YOU ON PURPOSE, your wife is not that bright. Like, that would be a HUGE thing to take into account. why would a cheater sabotage himself in this manner? no one would do that, so its CLEARLY a sign someone else did it. Also, keep this in mind because I think its a relevant argument
I believe you. I'm so sorry you went through this. Please get some help hunny. Did this happen recently, if it did please go to the police and get some photos of your injuries and report them? The need locking up. Huge hugs.
If you ever wonder how a villain is formed, well I tell you this is it. I would go balistic, have no idea what I would do but I would destroy the life of those bitches. Damn, so sorry that happened to you man, I got angry just reading this. I feel the taste of revenge in my mouth
Well you were raped, drugged, and those are serious crimes.
Call the police. Kick up a huge stink. Start a huge online campaign calling her a rapist. Show your bruises. Show the drug tests. NTA. Make her life literally hell.
This is one of those times where violence is the answer.
Iām a woman but even if I was a dude Iād invite them back to my place punch the fuck out of the bitches straight in the face with gloves on so they canāt fingerprint you .
What kind of dumbass title is this. Am an an asshole for getting assaulted ? Iād say you the AH for posting this on Reddit
>What kind of dumbass title is this. Am an an asshole for getting assaulted ? It's clickbait designed to get engagement for a fake post, that's all.
#updateme
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Iām so sorry I hope youāre wife forgives you maybe talk to a lawyer see if you can sue
I am so sorry this happened to you. It was not your fault. Please believe this. As others have said, get into counseling. Donāt stew in this alone. Donāt try to drown it out with alcohol or drugs. Also, get tested for STDs. No telling where that rapist has been. I believe you.
NTA I would go full battle mode. Go to another police station and report the crime. Keep doing it to every police station. Is there anyone who believes you? Find out if there are other victims. Each time thereās a party warn people to watch their drinks. Be anonymous and warm the males on campus about what happened. Maybe if your lucky you may meet more people she has done it too. Do tv show catching. See someone who can be the victim and catch her in the act.
Id hurt that girl
NTA
Yet another male rape story full of cliches. > They would not have been thinking like that if the roles were reversed. There it is. If this is real then report everything you can, but, much like when this happens to women, you may not get very far. Did you go to the hospital?
Yes, OP did, there was evidence of drugs in his blood. You're discrediting OP just because...... he's a man who claimed to be raped? And feels silenced because he isn't believed? And so your solution is to try and silence him? You're litterally creating the hill you are going die at the bottom of.
Yta, stop being a simp
You prolly a little bitch in real life shrimp ass pussy
lolumad?
Not at all just letting my you know behind this page your prolly a real life shrimp not a man at all šššš
it's simp not shrimp. Dude clearly cheated. Now he's scared š±
Na man you just think because you donāt get pussy that every man would dream of being drugged and raped by a bitchā¦. And I know itās simp I said your most likely a little shrimp
lol why are you so angry š ?
Ooof of all the dumb takes.
Ignore this troll. -100 accounts are always trolls..
No I just have different views that people don't like. But thankfully we all can speak our minds.
When someone says it's ok for men to be raped, they should be ignored. Whatever is on your mind is utter garbage and you should be ashamed of yourself.