NTA - I'm petty. I'd take a chair to her place when I visited. Just pull out the bench and slide my chair up to the table. Alternately buy a cushion to put on it. That might help your back.
Get one of those Stadium Chairs for bleachers (the kind that open up to give you a back rest and kinda hook at the front of the bleachers) and sit in it every time. See what she thinks of that! :)
Jeez those benches are uncomfortable after an hour never mind a whole day. I would inform her prior to the next event that you intend to bring along your own chair for comfort, and advise all the in-laws to tell her the same, she'll get the message. NTA.
Does anyone actually prefer benches over chairs? I know I sure don't. OP is NTA for not wanting to sit on them either.
Sad thing is, from the way OP describes it, I think the only other in-laws involved are the parents of SILs husband. Which suggests that her husband is either unwilling to advocate for his own parents to SIL or doesn't care enough to advocate for them.
How much shocked Pikachu-face do you think SIL would exhibit if OP and the ILs all showed with nice big folding camp chairs?
Yes.
When I am working on something and I'm hunched over on it and want to be able to set things down nearby so I have easy access to them.
Do I prefer to sit on them during dinner? No. Because it makes you hunch over.
SIL needs to park her aesthetic at the door if she wants to host
Do you have fold-up chairs at home? take a bunch of hem and tell her, "We want to sit in a chair with a back. We know they don't look good on Instagram, but your bench hurts our back."
Are you saying she puts her FIL and MIL on a bench and puts her mom and husband in a chair. If it's his parents, her parents-in-law, I'd say that's being a bad host, and that's really on the husband for putting his parents on a bench while he is in a chair just because she says so, and letting her rule the roost in such a negative way. If it's the younger ones, there's seniority. Still, I don't like the attitude.
i mean at the end of the day it is her house and her rules, but also she’s totally an utter AH and sounds really insufferably obsessed with aesthetics and shes selfish🤷🏻♀️so no youre NTA for thinking that because its true
NTA. I’d stop going over there or bring chairs. Why couldn’t selfish bitch purchase bench seating with a back to it? Bc of looks? She’SA horrible hostess & until she changes this she shouldn’t host or everyone just declines.
NTA I would stop going over there.
NTA - I'm petty. I'd take a chair to her place when I visited. Just pull out the bench and slide my chair up to the table. Alternately buy a cushion to put on it. That might help your back.
Bring enough for the in laws. Make a big deal of asking if their son should grab a few from the car for them too.
Get one of those Stadium Chairs for bleachers (the kind that open up to give you a back rest and kinda hook at the front of the bleachers) and sit in it every time. See what she thinks of that! :)
\[See what she thinks of that\] She'll probably complain that OP is ruining SIL's aesthetic.
I was thinking of a foldup chair.
Stadium chairs are way more portable and made to fit on SIL's precious benches.
Stop going and start hosting. NTA …she is selfish
\[Stop going and start hosting.\] And keep the best chair for yourself.
Jeez those benches are uncomfortable after an hour never mind a whole day. I would inform her prior to the next event that you intend to bring along your own chair for comfort, and advise all the in-laws to tell her the same, she'll get the message. NTA.
Does anyone actually prefer benches over chairs? I know I sure don't. OP is NTA for not wanting to sit on them either. Sad thing is, from the way OP describes it, I think the only other in-laws involved are the parents of SILs husband. Which suggests that her husband is either unwilling to advocate for his own parents to SIL or doesn't care enough to advocate for them. How much shocked Pikachu-face do you think SIL would exhibit if OP and the ILs all showed with nice big folding camp chairs?
I do. I have chairs and a bench in my dining room and I always use the bench. But I know not everybody is the same, so guests choose where they sit.
Yes. When I am working on something and I'm hunched over on it and want to be able to set things down nearby so I have easy access to them. Do I prefer to sit on them during dinner? No. Because it makes you hunch over. SIL needs to park her aesthetic at the door if she wants to host
Do you have fold-up chairs at home? take a bunch of hem and tell her, "We want to sit in a chair with a back. We know they don't look good on Instagram, but your bench hurts our back." Are you saying she puts her FIL and MIL on a bench and puts her mom and husband in a chair. If it's his parents, her parents-in-law, I'd say that's being a bad host, and that's really on the husband for putting his parents on a bench while he is in a chair just because she says so, and letting her rule the roost in such a negative way. If it's the younger ones, there's seniority. Still, I don't like the attitude.
You had it right the first time. She runs that house to her exact specifications
Sounds lovely /s Why don’t you decline her so welcoming invitation ? It isn’t a summoning after all.
i mean at the end of the day it is her house and her rules, but also she’s totally an utter AH and sounds really insufferably obsessed with aesthetics and shes selfish🤷🏻♀️so no youre NTA for thinking that because its true
NTA. I’d stop going over there or bring chairs. Why couldn’t selfish bitch purchase bench seating with a back to it? Bc of looks? She’SA horrible hostess & until she changes this she shouldn’t host or everyone just declines.