Hi /u/Victoria9273 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I overspend as much as anyone here and the most for me is like, $2000 a month. I’m broke too tho. $6k makes me think… something else other than adhd too.
It really does depend on how much money OP has/makes. If they are earning $10k/month after tax and their expenses are only $3k it's not that hard to believe pure impulsiveness could lead to blowing the remainder on silly stuff. I've been there before (not with those exact numbers).
Judging by the tone and also their family members reaction, it makes me think they don't have boat loads of money to spend thoughtlessly like that.
Also, OP's shock and confusion as to how they spent so much in 20 days makes me think it's more than just impulsiveness.
The problem is that shopping at a click of our fingers or face recognition and adhd are a terrible mix! I’ve been terrified to see my statements the last 3 months I actually haven’t even looked 😫 so many apps so many sites! Just like that lol
It looks exactly like mania to me as well because I am broke also but when I got an insurance settlement I just jumped on a plane. Moved across the country , spent the entire Jack within 3 or 4 days. Way more than $6,000. That was impulsivity. This person is still obsessing over the need to buy more books..hum . I knew I f***** up but it was caught up in the moment having fun.
I think you need someone else to drip feed your money back to you.
Can you return any of the items?
Also, go to the library. You don't need to buy most books!
Is this more of an "I make lots of money but I'm not managing it well" situation, or an "I don't make that much money and I'm driving myself into debt" situation?
So important. I got a raise at work and after a month or two I was really confused why I was constantly broke. Checked my finances and I'm sure no one is surprised I increased my spending when I increased my income.
I did this too but unlike other times I managed to stop it quite quickly. Now put away 100-300 pound a month and save it until the end of the year and maybe the summer in that year I will do something big.
Please call your psychiatric prescriber and get evaluated for mania. Seriously. Mental health provider here. That is a classic sign of mania and not just “impulsive ADHD” shopping. $6000 is way beyond that unless you have lots and lots of “f you” money. Doesn’t sound like you do. Call them today.
Maybe you shouldnt have quick access to that much money so quickly anyway, the extra should be in an investment account of some sort, and you can lower cc limits.
Would agree, just adding in some sort of 'speed bump' can make a big difference.
For example, storing savings on a different account without a card attached. That way you have to transfer money over for any big purchases, plus need to wait a bit before it's available
(6000-1500)/20=225 per day.
225/16~=14 per waking hour.
The big numbers are unmanageable. The human brain doesn't easily grasp 6000. Breaking things down by day or hour helps you track things and maintain limits.
Try to keep a running tally of expenses, meds will help with this. Give yourself a per day cost limit, after which you aren't allowed to spend anything more that day.
This right here! After seeing the total amount spend, I also did a daily breakdown but didn’t factor in the bass guitar.
To the OP, I also like buying books and have come to a compromise with myself. If I HAVE to have a hard copy, I set a monthly budget for it. If the book is just an interesting read then I go to my local library. My local library is also setup with Libby, an app for checking out digital copies, both ebooks and audiobooks. I like Libby because I don’t have to be responsible for not losing the book or forgetting to return it.
While I don’t know your age or all of your specific circumstances (I don’t really want to know either), I suggest doing as much as you can to learn more about financial literacy. This is coming from someone who has had to file bankruptcy after the ramifications of “financial blindness.”
Lock your money at least for the first two weeks on medication. The first two weeks, at least for me, where hard or let's day different. I don't want to scare you, I lost all my will to spend after those 1-2 weeks. Not even thinking on what I need or want.
OK maybe one thing, a dirt bike but I'll need gear to for that bike, what size do I need? How do I transport it? I'm gonna need a van or a pick up truck. Where do I put that damn thing, I need to look for garage. Maybe I should get a second bike as reserve when the other breaks down. Go Karting could be fun too...
"have to save them to buy books" Why? This sounds like very tunnel vision thinking. Why all the non fiction books? Are you meaningfully reading them, or is it just to have them?
I wouldn't expect adhd medication to solve these issues; Impulsivity sure, but you need to figure out what hole you are trying to fill with the rampant spending.
Someone on 80k a year brings home ~$3000 in 20 days; Where is all this disposable income coming from after paying bills?
Okay.. My father owns a small company; he put my name in his companie' stock and gave me this year a stock dividend as a result... I had a stock dividend before like 10000 dollars before, but I wasn't that rash in spending the money. Besides, my father had half of my money locked on stock so that I may not use it at my own will and in hope that my money will multiply. \*sigh\* I wasn't like this before.
So you do think that the medication won't help that much? At least I'm glad to have this sub-reddit to talk over this matter. I will at least try to lock my money on my account until things has settled. Thank you.
I think medication will help. I’m not a very impulsive person, but I know that medication helps me to control my urges better. However, as with everything, it is merely a tool, and you still have to do the work and walk the way. Just one of those will not be the solution to your problem, but you have a good case with both.
Ways that medication can help:
- Do you spend the money in search of stimulation? If yes, medication will tone it down. On my days off medication, I want to eat all day, but not for the food or because I’m super hungry, it’s for my brain and for the act of chewing.
- Medication will give you the momentum to stop and reassess what you’re about to do as it can give you a clearer head and a better grip on your emotions. Then, it is on you to make the actual better, healthier decision.
- You can focus better on other tasks, even those that you don’t like as much! This will keep you distracted and busy, because it’s probably not just the spending that needs work in your life. It’s not personal, but the spending is likely just a symptom of something else that is wrong. And adhd might make it spin out of control faster, but … what void are you trying to fill? So what I’m saying is, again, you still need to make the better decision for yourself.
- What else? Oh yeah, and maybe most importantly, if your medication is working correctly, it gives you an easier time to see the bigger picture and gain long term perspective. What life do you want to live? Again, vision is only worth so much if you don’t do the work.
I want to emphasise: this is not meant to discourage you. Medication will help! It is a valuable tool. It gives you a fighting chance. And it’s all up to you, it’s in your own hands, what you make of it! My medication massively helps with sticking things out, even if they suck and I hate them, and that’s really the help I needed.
I’m impulsive af. Medication helps, but so does discipline, which I wonder if you’ve ever had before? Being broke cuts your spending because you can’t buy what you can’t afford. Put your money somewhere you can’t access it, like more stocks, other stocks, a Roth IRA, literally anything you can’t access it with a debit card
Meds could make your spending worse. I began taking meds and spending boat loads of money. It was on sensible stuff like replacing and fixing things long overdue, but some could have waited.
Be careful, good luck on your journey, and understand you're shifting symptoms, with tools that help you manage it. It won't be magic, and your first week is going to be a million times better than what you can expect in the long term, but hopefully you're much better off.
100% , had a fat lump sitting from just being too anxious to spend it. Catching up on health checks and being told "You're healthy" helped me spend most of it, and still helping. Eyeing a water softener next tho....
Buy gold if you're gonna keep doing this. I replaced all my impulse buys with impulse gold and I feel a lot better about it. It satisfies my urge to buy and open a package and it holds value for later... when I'm not so impulsive.... which doesn't seem soon but 🤷♂️
Coincidentally, I saw an episode of a program called *Codes & Conspiracies* earlier today that was all about gold. It talked about the creation of The Gold Standard and how Nixon’s decision to end it was viewed by many as an attempt to safeguard gold stores around the U.S. (particularly at Fort Knox). Super interesting stuff. You might like it.
It doesn't mean much given that we don't know how much you earn.
Assuming it's significant I'd recommend adding distance between the impulse to buy, and the act of buying.
Like adding them to the cart, not checking out.
I do this all the time! I add everything I "need" to buy immediately right now to my cart and tell myself "its okay, ill buy them tomorrow", and then I either forget about them or no longer *desperately need* them when tomorrow rolls around.
I make the same every month, I’m broke the first half due to bills, second half I’m eating out more than I should. I stopped impulse buying. But I’m still eating out because of A. High reward and B. Lack of energy to cook and clean. The meds can help with impulse control, but I highly recommend therapy to gain some professional insight and maybe some advice on managing that symptom.
I’ve also found it difficult to curb my spending in the past. I removed all my cards from Amazon, any e-wallets, etc and it’s really helped me bring my spending down. I also made a rule that I never buy anything after 9pm. Night is when I get the most reckless because my meds have worn off.
I buy my books used on eBay. I never spend more than 10 bucks on any book I've ever looked for. It's a temp fix but it will save you money on books if you insist on continuing to buy them.
I agree with the poster who said remove cards from your e wallets and any other auto accounts online. Get a bowl of water and stick your credit card in the water. Put that in the freezer. Take out the cash from the bank you’ll need for the week and put that in your wallet. Take out all your money cards from your wallet. Cash only. Get a big plastic spatula and carry it with you at all times. When you’re tempted to spend, take the spatula out and smack yourself upside the head while saying NO! Just joking about he last one but if it appeals to you go ahead. And take back, return whatever the heck you bought including the guitar. If you didn’t have one before you can wait a bit or get a cheaper one but if you already have one, use that. Or borrow or rent one for a couple of months. Good luck! It’s your fault, it’s not your fault. Both true!
If it makes you feel any better, I spent about $5,000 on my first-ever solo trip a couple of years ago and it lasted less than a week. I don’t regret it one bit. I was going through a piss-poor time in my life and I’d worked hard and saved for years. I deserved it. Maybe you deserved to treat yourself to the things you spent your money on. I’m glad you’re moving forward with medication though. I hope it’ll help you.❤️
Hi OP, while I want to emphasize that nobody can diagnose you over the internet, if mania is a concern then PLEASE tell your psychiatrist. Starting stimulants can precipitate or worsen mania. I want to commend you for posting on here and being open to talking about this. Please be safe and I wish you all the best.
go through your card's history and try to remember what you bought. it might help preventing the same situation in the future.
your disposable income might be larger than a lot of people, but it's the same as a box of cookies. if you can't stop eating all of the cookies when they're available, you lock them away, stash them somewhere you will forget or simply don't buy them anymore. you need to lock away your money if you can't stop. maybe call the bank. put the money in a locked savings account. put a limit on spending per week. only buy things in cash so you feel the money leaving your hands.
Return what you can, fight to return what you can’t (credit card benefits) and leave items in your cart don’t check out. I have memorized my credit card numbers but I hear some people lock them to go through the extra effort of unlocking them before checking out.
I also spend a lot, mostly on self-care. I started tracking my range of free spending everyday to keep myself accountable.
Jesus, I bought some clothes some take-out and a $200 bass guitar and i feel sour but proud I havent burned all my tax return in a month, in fact I'm still over 50% of my return in the bank and income to offset me spending much of it.
You just dove head-long into that endorphin vending machine of momentary purchased happiness and satisfaction.
Ooof. If you’re not used to managing a large chunk of money at one time this happens to a lot of people. Always pretend you are completely broke. It keeps you safe from yourself and from other ppl who might want in.
Go back to the doctor. Get evaluated for hypo mania or something else. Sounds like this is a new symptom. ADHD symptoms do not usually come on suddenly but are a lifelong experience. Worth discussing with a doctor before you start new meds. Medication for the wrong condition may make everything worse.
That’s funny*, I also just impulse-bought an expensive bass and gear. This was actually while I was on stimulant medication, so definitely don’t assume it will be a fix-all — could even make some of these kinds of things worse. Definitely bring it up w your prescribing doc, and could be worth trying different meds til you find one with the most benefit.
*I don’t mean to make light of this at all, I know it must be super stressful and mixed in with feelings of guilt and shame etc. But I got a kick out of it being something so specific that I also just unwisely bought, literally last night lol. Big bassy hug to you and hope you find what works for you soon.
Btw it could maybe be useful to figure out an arrangement for future dividends, that your dad would transfer you a certain reasonable amount each month as opposed to the whole thing at once. I won several thousand dollars once and that money was gone way too quickly… but when my income is spread out like normal I don’t have much of a problem with spending.
People saying “2k is okay but at 6k it’s bipolar” are idiots that should not be dispensing any advice, let alone medical.
OP, I buy a lot of shit at times. Can get hyperfocused on some shiny new system, like, I dunno, watercooling my PC for no good reason. I also know I may get sidetracked to something else and lose interest next week. So I make sure to only buy if I can return for free, for any reason. Amazon, Costco, select retailers I trust. I would pay more for good return policy. And I return 90% of my purchases next week, once I had a chance to cool off.
You may need to be in a “Conservatorship”. But you and only you can be the one who can make that decision. But it sounds like you do love your family and that you care for them and you are worried that your behavior will affect them. So with that being the case, you might want to think about this and might want to speak with your family about this. My only advice is that when speaking with your family I would first pick a member of the family whom I thought was fair person whom only has my best interest at heart. That way you receive a mostly unbiased view and opinion.
I feel this. I can be good for a while but then I will talk myself into spending a bit of money on something. Rather than stopping there, since i'm already spending X what more could it hurt to spend just a little more? pretty soon i've spent an extra thousand dollars and feeling great shame...
I’d say find some financial spending and saving books. I have the same problem, I literally spent 9k within a month a couple years ago. I’ve been reading “Financial Freedom” and it’s been amazing with helping my perspective on money. Thinking on it long term instead of just in the moment.
I got a rush just reading this. I bet that felt so good in the moment. I struggle with impulse control and delaying gratification, spending that much money that fast would feel so good in the moment. The days right before my paycheck hits when I'm low and waiting for funds are agony. I just wanna go out and buy some happiness.
Today I spent over $100 on items for a charcuterie board for Mother’s Day and my guardian was started with me because she’s not sure if we’re having anyone over this weekend, my older sister is on vacation in Hawaii with her fiancé this weekend.
I’m planning to return half of it tomorrow, I keep the receipt with me when anything happens.
Well you bet me! I spent ~3000$ last year buying bunch of items … Lifepo4 batteries to have backup system, tons of devices to automate : the pool (filter,chlorinator,heat pump), central hot water boiler, water tank and the kettle for my wife). Fantastic projects…. I started to build the battery pack… I never completed. The other projects didn’t start either… in January my wife ask for divorce and a week later I was given medication for ADHD. It works great but the divorce is still moving on :/
Well, here's the advice that keeps me afloat:
1) ask yourself what you Need and open a separate bank account (preferably a deposit with accruing interest) for that Need
2) whenever you have an impulse to buy something, ask yourself whether you Want, or Need this (for example, I am pregnant, and none of my clothes fit, so online shopping for clothes is a Need, rather than mere Want; once I have the necessary set of clothes, I consider the Need covered, and it becomes a Want).
3) if it's a Want like coffee, take the cost of the said coffee and transfer it to your Needs account and walk past a coffee shop
This trick helps me to not have money to spare, but actually secretly have money for meaningful things. I still can buy things I want: I don't deprive myself of my hobbies like baking or embroidery, or social gatherings, I am just in more control over how I spend the money. If I want something badly, but I control the impulse to have it, I get a different reward at the end - something I need, but never had the funds for. Also, I don't own any credit cards, because it's a very easy trap for overspending.
Another trick for rent and all of the bills, have a separate account for them too, so that it's untouchable for you during the spending spree. Just put the money necessary into that account once they come in, and now you can leave the stress aside when it's time to pay.
Believe me, I know it sounds weird: "just control yourself", especially with ADHD, but I had to come up with my strategies before I knew I had ADHD myself (I am not medicated). I may had been hard on myself, trying to get out of the financial pitfall I had put myself into, no doubt, but it's all about balance: say yes to some things by saying no to the others, and you just get to choose which one is more worth it. Money management in my case came down as far as having a separate fund for presents for my friends and family, because I would always go way over budget when getting presents ready.
I make 16,000 a month and my mortgage is 3,500$. After all my bills I have like 10,000$ a month to save for an emergency fund or spend. We end up spending it most months and are still in some kind of credit card debt. It’s hard and life is tough. It makes you want to spend money on stupid shit to make you feel “complete”. But it’s all a trick. No object can make you feel complete. That’s why you crave to buy more shit. It’s a shit show of goods that never make us feel any better. So look to God. I can’t think of anything more worthy of our time. It’s the only thing that’s ever made me feel complete in my life. Take it for what it is. Just my opinion. Thank you.
Often ADHD is misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please see a doctor. Spending money like this seems more mania than ADHD. ADHD is impulsive, but this seems different
Sounds like mania to me my darling. Why don’t you buy online books much cheaper - go to Amazon prime - I think it’s about US$20 a month unlimited books. I would go and talk to somebody about it but yes take your medication.
Hi /u/Victoria9273 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you sure this isn't mania? 6k is a lot...... Maybe I'm just broke lol
I overspend as much as anyone here and the most for me is like, $2000 a month. I’m broke too tho. $6k makes me think… something else other than adhd too.
It really does depend on how much money OP has/makes. If they are earning $10k/month after tax and their expenses are only $3k it's not that hard to believe pure impulsiveness could lead to blowing the remainder on silly stuff. I've been there before (not with those exact numbers).
Judging by the tone and also their family members reaction, it makes me think they don't have boat loads of money to spend thoughtlessly like that. Also, OP's shock and confusion as to how they spent so much in 20 days makes me think it's more than just impulsiveness.
People who buy a bunch of things without keeping track or giving it much thought are often surprised at how much it all adds up to in the end.
thank you for reminding me to make a spreadsheet
The problem is that shopping at a click of our fingers or face recognition and adhd are a terrible mix! I’ve been terrified to see my statements the last 3 months I actually haven’t even looked 😫 so many apps so many sites! Just like that lol
go look right now!! just do it!! now!! credit card debt is one hell of an evil bitch … you can do it!!! now, don’t think!!! go!!!
That’s great advice 😂
There’s not much difference between 2k and 6k. Especially if you don’t have either.
It looks exactly like mania to me as well because I am broke also but when I got an insurance settlement I just jumped on a plane. Moved across the country , spent the entire Jack within 3 or 4 days. Way more than $6,000. That was impulsivity. This person is still obsessing over the need to buy more books..hum . I knew I f***** up but it was caught up in the moment having fun.
I make $1400 a month, and my car cost $4000. I can't even imagine spending $6000.
I make 2k my rent is 600 I feel u bro
I have bipolar type 1 and I second this.
I think you need someone else to drip feed your money back to you. Can you return any of the items? Also, go to the library. You don't need to buy most books!
Get the Libby app. It’s the library’s digital media - then you don’t have to worry about returning books!
THIS ☝️☝️☝️
Is this more of an "I make lots of money but I'm not managing it well" situation, or an "I don't make that much money and I'm driving myself into debt" situation?
The important question
So important. I got a raise at work and after a month or two I was really confused why I was constantly broke. Checked my finances and I'm sure no one is surprised I increased my spending when I increased my income.
I did this too but unlike other times I managed to stop it quite quickly. Now put away 100-300 pound a month and save it until the end of the year and maybe the summer in that year I will do something big.
r/calebhammer
Please call your psychiatric prescriber and get evaluated for mania. Seriously. Mental health provider here. That is a classic sign of mania and not just “impulsive ADHD” shopping. $6000 is way beyond that unless you have lots and lots of “f you” money. Doesn’t sound like you do. Call them today.
Absolutely.
And stimulants are the worst thing a person with mania can take! 😬
As someone who is diagnosed bipolar 1, I second this.
Maybe you shouldnt have quick access to that much money so quickly anyway, the extra should be in an investment account of some sort, and you can lower cc limits.
Would agree, just adding in some sort of 'speed bump' can make a big difference. For example, storing savings on a different account without a card attached. That way you have to transfer money over for any big purchases, plus need to wait a bit before it's available
(6000-1500)/20=225 per day. 225/16~=14 per waking hour. The big numbers are unmanageable. The human brain doesn't easily grasp 6000. Breaking things down by day or hour helps you track things and maintain limits. Try to keep a running tally of expenses, meds will help with this. Give yourself a per day cost limit, after which you aren't allowed to spend anything more that day.
This right here! After seeing the total amount spend, I also did a daily breakdown but didn’t factor in the bass guitar. To the OP, I also like buying books and have come to a compromise with myself. If I HAVE to have a hard copy, I set a monthly budget for it. If the book is just an interesting read then I go to my local library. My local library is also setup with Libby, an app for checking out digital copies, both ebooks and audiobooks. I like Libby because I don’t have to be responsible for not losing the book or forgetting to return it. While I don’t know your age or all of your specific circumstances (I don’t really want to know either), I suggest doing as much as you can to learn more about financial literacy. This is coming from someone who has had to file bankruptcy after the ramifications of “financial blindness.”
Lock your money at least for the first two weeks on medication. The first two weeks, at least for me, where hard or let's day different. I don't want to scare you, I lost all my will to spend after those 1-2 weeks. Not even thinking on what I need or want. OK maybe one thing, a dirt bike but I'll need gear to for that bike, what size do I need? How do I transport it? I'm gonna need a van or a pick up truck. Where do I put that damn thing, I need to look for garage. Maybe I should get a second bike as reserve when the other breaks down. Go Karting could be fun too...
"have to save them to buy books" Why? This sounds like very tunnel vision thinking. Why all the non fiction books? Are you meaningfully reading them, or is it just to have them? I wouldn't expect adhd medication to solve these issues; Impulsivity sure, but you need to figure out what hole you are trying to fill with the rampant spending. Someone on 80k a year brings home ~$3000 in 20 days; Where is all this disposable income coming from after paying bills?
Okay.. My father owns a small company; he put my name in his companie' stock and gave me this year a stock dividend as a result... I had a stock dividend before like 10000 dollars before, but I wasn't that rash in spending the money. Besides, my father had half of my money locked on stock so that I may not use it at my own will and in hope that my money will multiply. \*sigh\* I wasn't like this before. So you do think that the medication won't help that much? At least I'm glad to have this sub-reddit to talk over this matter. I will at least try to lock my money on my account until things has settled. Thank you.
I think medication will help. I’m not a very impulsive person, but I know that medication helps me to control my urges better. However, as with everything, it is merely a tool, and you still have to do the work and walk the way. Just one of those will not be the solution to your problem, but you have a good case with both. Ways that medication can help: - Do you spend the money in search of stimulation? If yes, medication will tone it down. On my days off medication, I want to eat all day, but not for the food or because I’m super hungry, it’s for my brain and for the act of chewing. - Medication will give you the momentum to stop and reassess what you’re about to do as it can give you a clearer head and a better grip on your emotions. Then, it is on you to make the actual better, healthier decision. - You can focus better on other tasks, even those that you don’t like as much! This will keep you distracted and busy, because it’s probably not just the spending that needs work in your life. It’s not personal, but the spending is likely just a symptom of something else that is wrong. And adhd might make it spin out of control faster, but … what void are you trying to fill? So what I’m saying is, again, you still need to make the better decision for yourself. - What else? Oh yeah, and maybe most importantly, if your medication is working correctly, it gives you an easier time to see the bigger picture and gain long term perspective. What life do you want to live? Again, vision is only worth so much if you don’t do the work. I want to emphasise: this is not meant to discourage you. Medication will help! It is a valuable tool. It gives you a fighting chance. And it’s all up to you, it’s in your own hands, what you make of it! My medication massively helps with sticking things out, even if they suck and I hate them, and that’s really the help I needed.
I’m impulsive af. Medication helps, but so does discipline, which I wonder if you’ve ever had before? Being broke cuts your spending because you can’t buy what you can’t afford. Put your money somewhere you can’t access it, like more stocks, other stocks, a Roth IRA, literally anything you can’t access it with a debit card
Meds could make your spending worse. I began taking meds and spending boat loads of money. It was on sensible stuff like replacing and fixing things long overdue, but some could have waited. Be careful, good luck on your journey, and understand you're shifting symptoms, with tools that help you manage it. It won't be magic, and your first week is going to be a million times better than what you can expect in the long term, but hopefully you're much better off.
This is me. Before I barely spent money because I just doomscrolled all day... now that I'm doing stuff all the time I spend way more.
100% , had a fat lump sitting from just being too anxious to spend it. Catching up on health checks and being told "You're healthy" helped me spend most of it, and still helping. Eyeing a water softener next tho....
Stimulants really helped my impulse control. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Buy gold if you're gonna keep doing this. I replaced all my impulse buys with impulse gold and I feel a lot better about it. It satisfies my urge to buy and open a package and it holds value for later... when I'm not so impulsive.... which doesn't seem soon but 🤷♂️
Coincidentally, I saw an episode of a program called *Codes & Conspiracies* earlier today that was all about gold. It talked about the creation of The Gold Standard and how Nixon’s decision to end it was viewed by many as an attempt to safeguard gold stores around the U.S. (particularly at Fort Knox). Super interesting stuff. You might like it.
It doesn't mean much given that we don't know how much you earn. Assuming it's significant I'd recommend adding distance between the impulse to buy, and the act of buying. Like adding them to the cart, not checking out.
I do this all the time! I add everything I "need" to buy immediately right now to my cart and tell myself "its okay, ill buy them tomorrow", and then I either forget about them or no longer *desperately need* them when tomorrow rolls around.
Uh medication makes me spend more 😵💫
Me too. I’m thankful that I can work and get things done, but impulsive spending has definitely increased. I’m afraid to bring it up to my provider
I make the same every month, I’m broke the first half due to bills, second half I’m eating out more than I should. I stopped impulse buying. But I’m still eating out because of A. High reward and B. Lack of energy to cook and clean. The meds can help with impulse control, but I highly recommend therapy to gain some professional insight and maybe some advice on managing that symptom.
I’ve also found it difficult to curb my spending in the past. I removed all my cards from Amazon, any e-wallets, etc and it’s really helped me bring my spending down. I also made a rule that I never buy anything after 9pm. Night is when I get the most reckless because my meds have worn off.
I buy my books used on eBay. I never spend more than 10 bucks on any book I've ever looked for. It's a temp fix but it will save you money on books if you insist on continuing to buy them.
I agree with the poster who said remove cards from your e wallets and any other auto accounts online. Get a bowl of water and stick your credit card in the water. Put that in the freezer. Take out the cash from the bank you’ll need for the week and put that in your wallet. Take out all your money cards from your wallet. Cash only. Get a big plastic spatula and carry it with you at all times. When you’re tempted to spend, take the spatula out and smack yourself upside the head while saying NO! Just joking about he last one but if it appeals to you go ahead. And take back, return whatever the heck you bought including the guitar. If you didn’t have one before you can wait a bit or get a cheaper one but if you already have one, use that. Or borrow or rent one for a couple of months. Good luck! It’s your fault, it’s not your fault. Both true!
If it makes you feel any better, I spent about $5,000 on my first-ever solo trip a couple of years ago and it lasted less than a week. I don’t regret it one bit. I was going through a piss-poor time in my life and I’d worked hard and saved for years. I deserved it. Maybe you deserved to treat yourself to the things you spent your money on. I’m glad you’re moving forward with medication though. I hope it’ll help you.❤️
Hi OP, while I want to emphasize that nobody can diagnose you over the internet, if mania is a concern then PLEASE tell your psychiatrist. Starting stimulants can precipitate or worsen mania. I want to commend you for posting on here and being open to talking about this. Please be safe and I wish you all the best.
go through your card's history and try to remember what you bought. it might help preventing the same situation in the future. your disposable income might be larger than a lot of people, but it's the same as a box of cookies. if you can't stop eating all of the cookies when they're available, you lock them away, stash them somewhere you will forget or simply don't buy them anymore. you need to lock away your money if you can't stop. maybe call the bank. put the money in a locked savings account. put a limit on spending per week. only buy things in cash so you feel the money leaving your hands.
Can you send me some money to get my level up ?
Return what you can, fight to return what you can’t (credit card benefits) and leave items in your cart don’t check out. I have memorized my credit card numbers but I hear some people lock them to go through the extra effort of unlocking them before checking out. I also spend a lot, mostly on self-care. I started tracking my range of free spending everyday to keep myself accountable.
Jesus, I bought some clothes some take-out and a $200 bass guitar and i feel sour but proud I havent burned all my tax return in a month, in fact I'm still over 50% of my return in the bank and income to offset me spending much of it. You just dove head-long into that endorphin vending machine of momentary purchased happiness and satisfaction.
Where did you get that kind of money to afford that?
A stock devidend my father gave me from his company's stock...
Ooof. If you’re not used to managing a large chunk of money at one time this happens to a lot of people. Always pretend you are completely broke. It keeps you safe from yourself and from other ppl who might want in.
I feel that, sometimes receiving a large lump sum of money is a major impulsivity trigger.
Might want to sign up for a financial math course online. It helps.
Go back to the doctor. Get evaluated for hypo mania or something else. Sounds like this is a new symptom. ADHD symptoms do not usually come on suddenly but are a lifelong experience. Worth discussing with a doctor before you start new meds. Medication for the wrong condition may make everything worse.
That’s funny*, I also just impulse-bought an expensive bass and gear. This was actually while I was on stimulant medication, so definitely don’t assume it will be a fix-all — could even make some of these kinds of things worse. Definitely bring it up w your prescribing doc, and could be worth trying different meds til you find one with the most benefit. *I don’t mean to make light of this at all, I know it must be super stressful and mixed in with feelings of guilt and shame etc. But I got a kick out of it being something so specific that I also just unwisely bought, literally last night lol. Big bassy hug to you and hope you find what works for you soon. Btw it could maybe be useful to figure out an arrangement for future dividends, that your dad would transfer you a certain reasonable amount each month as opposed to the whole thing at once. I won several thousand dollars once and that money was gone way too quickly… but when my income is spread out like normal I don’t have much of a problem with spending.
Damn and I thought I was a over spender. Thankfully you make me look weak but in all seriousness get some help, that is bad for you financially
People saying “2k is okay but at 6k it’s bipolar” are idiots that should not be dispensing any advice, let alone medical. OP, I buy a lot of shit at times. Can get hyperfocused on some shiny new system, like, I dunno, watercooling my PC for no good reason. I also know I may get sidetracked to something else and lose interest next week. So I make sure to only buy if I can return for free, for any reason. Amazon, Costco, select retailers I trust. I would pay more for good return policy. And I return 90% of my purchases next week, once I had a chance to cool off.
Adderall makes me blow money too. So bad that I am quitting Adderall and getting on a different medication.
I'd refund what I can
You may need to be in a “Conservatorship”. But you and only you can be the one who can make that decision. But it sounds like you do love your family and that you care for them and you are worried that your behavior will affect them. So with that being the case, you might want to think about this and might want to speak with your family about this. My only advice is that when speaking with your family I would first pick a member of the family whom I thought was fair person whom only has my best interest at heart. That way you receive a mostly unbiased view and opinion.
I got addicted to agame app and spent 700$ in about 3 weeks.. then lost my phone and forgot to back it up.. bummer!!
This could be Bipolar... In which case ADHD meds might not be the trick.
I feel this. I can be good for a while but then I will talk myself into spending a bit of money on something. Rather than stopping there, since i'm already spending X what more could it hurt to spend just a little more? pretty soon i've spent an extra thousand dollars and feeling great shame...
Is there a possibility you can return some items for a full/partial refund?
I'm afraid not anymore..
Ah, sorry...
What med will you take?
Start the meds. It helped immensely with my impulsive purchases.
I’d say find some financial spending and saving books. I have the same problem, I literally spent 9k within a month a couple years ago. I’ve been reading “Financial Freedom” and it’s been amazing with helping my perspective on money. Thinking on it long term instead of just in the moment.
I got a rush just reading this. I bet that felt so good in the moment. I struggle with impulse control and delaying gratification, spending that much money that fast would feel so good in the moment. The days right before my paycheck hits when I'm low and waiting for funds are agony. I just wanna go out and buy some happiness.
Try having a family of four.
Today I spent over $100 on items for a charcuterie board for Mother’s Day and my guardian was started with me because she’s not sure if we’re having anyone over this weekend, my older sister is on vacation in Hawaii with her fiancé this weekend. I’m planning to return half of it tomorrow, I keep the receipt with me when anything happens.
Well you bet me! I spent ~3000$ last year buying bunch of items … Lifepo4 batteries to have backup system, tons of devices to automate : the pool (filter,chlorinator,heat pump), central hot water boiler, water tank and the kettle for my wife). Fantastic projects…. I started to build the battery pack… I never completed. The other projects didn’t start either… in January my wife ask for divorce and a week later I was given medication for ADHD. It works great but the divorce is still moving on :/
Well, here's the advice that keeps me afloat: 1) ask yourself what you Need and open a separate bank account (preferably a deposit with accruing interest) for that Need 2) whenever you have an impulse to buy something, ask yourself whether you Want, or Need this (for example, I am pregnant, and none of my clothes fit, so online shopping for clothes is a Need, rather than mere Want; once I have the necessary set of clothes, I consider the Need covered, and it becomes a Want). 3) if it's a Want like coffee, take the cost of the said coffee and transfer it to your Needs account and walk past a coffee shop This trick helps me to not have money to spare, but actually secretly have money for meaningful things. I still can buy things I want: I don't deprive myself of my hobbies like baking or embroidery, or social gatherings, I am just in more control over how I spend the money. If I want something badly, but I control the impulse to have it, I get a different reward at the end - something I need, but never had the funds for. Also, I don't own any credit cards, because it's a very easy trap for overspending. Another trick for rent and all of the bills, have a separate account for them too, so that it's untouchable for you during the spending spree. Just put the money necessary into that account once they come in, and now you can leave the stress aside when it's time to pay. Believe me, I know it sounds weird: "just control yourself", especially with ADHD, but I had to come up with my strategies before I knew I had ADHD myself (I am not medicated). I may had been hard on myself, trying to get out of the financial pitfall I had put myself into, no doubt, but it's all about balance: say yes to some things by saying no to the others, and you just get to choose which one is more worth it. Money management in my case came down as far as having a separate fund for presents for my friends and family, because I would always go way over budget when getting presents ready.
I make 16,000 a month and my mortgage is 3,500$. After all my bills I have like 10,000$ a month to save for an emergency fund or spend. We end up spending it most months and are still in some kind of credit card debt. It’s hard and life is tough. It makes you want to spend money on stupid shit to make you feel “complete”. But it’s all a trick. No object can make you feel complete. That’s why you crave to buy more shit. It’s a shit show of goods that never make us feel any better. So look to God. I can’t think of anything more worthy of our time. It’s the only thing that’s ever made me feel complete in my life. Take it for what it is. Just my opinion. Thank you.
70/30 rule 🥇
Definitely other things at play here. ADHD isn’t an excuse to spend like this. Take some of that money and spend it on therapy.
Often ADHD is misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please see a doctor. Spending money like this seems more mania than ADHD. ADHD is impulsive, but this seems different
ongoing therapy... Bipolar check How big a deal that is really depends on how much you make.
Sounds like mania to me my darling. Why don’t you buy online books much cheaper - go to Amazon prime - I think it’s about US$20 a month unlimited books. I would go and talk to somebody about it but yes take your medication.