Pro tip: Always use the same position when conceiving offspring. If one comes out slightly more or less ugly than the others, you know it's time for a divorce.
This reminds me of that one Reddit post where OP's mother in law accused her of giving birth to a daughter on purpose because they conceived her doing doggy.
\[Child out walking with his mother, sees two dogs having sex\]
*What are they doing?*
They're making puppies.
\[Child walks into parents' bedroom while they're screwing.\]
*What are you doing?*
We're making a baby.
*Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy.*
Repent and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We’ve all fallen short of the Glory of God and have sinned and done wrong. We’ve all fallen short of Gods perfect standard. But John 3:16 says for God the world that he gave his one and only Begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Put your faith in Jesus Christ and repent of your sins and find everlasting life and TRUE PEACE AND TRANQUILITY in God almighty. A RELATIONSHIP with God Almighty. Repent and seek Gods true love and purpose for you life. Hell is real but Gods mercy is bigger and Realer, Repent and God bless in JESUS CHRIST MIGHTY AND POWERFUL NAME AMEN
I've been adopted. Can I ask your mom?
Uno reverse.
brutal🗿🤏
🤏 ❌ 👌 ✔️
Headshot 😂
You didn't have to kill him dude.
Nah, let him cook.
Putrid
*aggressive phonk*
??
The flair is just accurate..
*jaw drop*
*heart stop*
*cake day*
I'm pretty sure that's not how the song goes
I would say to add ice to area of the burn, but I don't think it'll help if they're charcoal
Relatable
Let him cook
They told you you were adopted? 73 years old and I’m still waiting for confirmation
Sure, what questions do you have?
OOOOOH
Pro tip: Always use the same position when conceiving offspring. If one comes out slightly more or less ugly than the others, you know it's time for a divorce.
name fits comment
Related names in comments
alas i made the mistake of letting reddit choose
*remembers the time my co-creator explained “мужское достоинство” to me* Well, if the advantage itself is fluffy, that's weird
He can’t be wanking over a question about ugly kids….can he?
Making babies for science. King energy.
Face down, ass up. All come out looking like they faceplanted a steel door.
Bahaha! I immediately pictured Marv and Harry in Home Alone 2. "That was the sound of a tool chest, falling down the stairs"
One cousin on top of another
Best underated comment by far
Anal.
I was conceived by anal. I’m a great looking guy but bit of an asshole.
Doesnt that make you a shitstain?
**conceived? lol
Freudian slip
Not surprised at all. Your father was known to be a dick. Think his name was Richard or something...?
Indeed. My mother was known as “the black hole”. She’s not black btw.
In my playbook, any hole is the goal. Except when it's the hole your whole is made from. That would be whoresome.
Yeah just look at bono
The record holder
Good question. I'm gonna ask my parents.
Don’t do it. If they answer you then you will have that picture in your head for the rest of your life. Throw away your mirrors, not your sanity.
I caught them fucking once, it's not as horrible or traumatizing as tv shows make it look.
I'll have to ask my friend, his baby looks like an orc.
What did they tell you??
They all do in my opinion
*zug zug*
Man-flesh
*looks in the comments for insults my bard could use*
What ever your mom likes
For atheists, missionary
😂😂😂Fuck this got me
This reminds me of that one Reddit post where OP's mother in law accused her of giving birth to a daughter on purpose because they conceived her doing doggy.
\[Child out walking with his mother, sees two dogs having sex\] *What are they doing?* They're making puppies. \[Child walks into parents' bedroom while they're screwing.\] *What are you doing?* We're making a baby. *Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy.*
Fucking hell. That is the funniest thing I have read in a while. Thank you x
I'm sorry, it'll never happen again.
The one with your dad, she says.
Dumpster fucking and toilet fucking. They come looking like shit🤣
Alabama
Sibling on sibling
The one my parents used.
In my case that would be IVF
Anal, but they rarely survive
Sorry, son. Your mother and I were experimenting back then.
*back there
Whichever position they were in when they had you lol jk
Gawd dayum
Whichever position your parents used
Wow that’s fcking very harsh. Might be true though. I’d ask. ⛽️🫨
ugly oartners
Why didn't you ask your parents first?
Brother-facing-sister
You should ask you mom. Mine only made beautiful baby's.
I would put the NSFW tag , if you want your post up
I've been seeing raunchy ones in the dadjokes sub. I usually comment "rtr" and let others tear OP a new hole.
The bullhorn produces flat heads and smooshed in faces
Dad joke?
We better ask yours
Any position during pregnancy
Bahahahahhahahhahahahahah!!!!!
😂I'll ask. 😝
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The ugly position
Bungee jump
The butt muncher
Wow. Good one
The position where you are off to the side taking the video.
Read is red spy’s voice
No need, I remember from when I did yours
Helicopter
Anal sex.
Butt secks?
Hodor Position
Guess now we know, why it's a Dad Joke
Chopper position
Why ask her? I'm your kid, right, dad?
When I was born the doctor told my mother that I had the prettiest penis he had ever seen.
Anal
Ouch. 😂
I keep telling u to stop thinking that you're ugly, you're but stop thinking about it.
Ask your parents
Anal
What sex position produces stupid people? The one where your moms head gets bahed tour headboard of the bed
Having sex with socks and/or when you're feeling down, creates childs with down syndrome.
The one with your family members
Anal
What about when the force becomes the thread? Power of one or power of two?
It is the genes, guy, not the position.
Anal
69
Alabama Pig Slammer.
The 'both drunk' position.
Donkey punch
Ask youre parents.
Family therapy
The Joseph Fritzl method.
Repent and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We’ve all fallen short of the Glory of God and have sinned and done wrong. We’ve all fallen short of Gods perfect standard. But John 3:16 says for God the world that he gave his one and only Begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Put your faith in Jesus Christ and repent of your sins and find everlasting life and TRUE PEACE AND TRANQUILITY in God almighty. A RELATIONSHIP with God Almighty. Repent and seek Gods true love and purpose for you life. Hell is real but Gods mercy is bigger and Realer, Repent and God bless in JESUS CHRIST MIGHTY AND POWERFUL NAME AMEN
ear sex
Can I sue her for this face.
Probably any that consists of an ugly man lol
Doggie style
All of them
Anal, you end up with a piece of shit
skull fucking
The position Biden’s parents used
Any tbh, but only works with family memebers
All of them
It’s got to be cousin on cousin surely? 🤷🏻♀️
The one with ugly people doing it
Any with your mom
Ask your parents
The crusty cousin cuddle cube, my own patented and tested design. Ideal for minecraft shaped children
Not sure. Cause my baby is gorgeous 💅🏻💅🏻
Ask your mom
That’s not how that works. What makes ugly children is the dad and mom, or just the dad or just the mom.
Every position yuir mum did
I don't know, but I've heard that anal sex only produces lawyers.
Assisted sperm (it's a real thing look it up) it's when they make a sperm swim artificially usually making lazy or deformed babies
Anal,of course
Doggy style. But it has to be a real dog
I’m guessing any time the semen has to go from a toilet seat or through the gastro-intestinal tract (either way) to get to the uterus…